Here’s the thing: I suffer from a third disease. This condition is called "Chronic Shoe Lust." Shoes are my sanctuary. And here’s my frustration: I don’t want to give up my cute shoes.

Sometimes, it is so hard to be reasonable. It can be especially difficult when you have a seemingly endless list of rules to follow, what not to do, what not to eat, which medications to take, which supplements are helpful, when the next doctor’s appointment is, and so forth. Add in a pinch of human emotion and a dash of impulsion – and you’re surely bound to slip up here and there.

I have rheumatoid arthritis in ALL of my joints, but my right knee is a particular mess: I have a torn meniscus, both RA and osteoarthritis, cartilage damage, bone spurs and calcium deposits. I’ve lost my full range of motion – my knee doesn’t fully straighten or bend – and it is constantly swollen. I have walked with a slight limp since the sixth grade. With no other choice, I’ve gotten used to my not-so-friendly knee and the pain it causes my whole right leg. And this cranky knee? Along with my doctor and family members, it has chastised me time and time again for wearing heels, wedges, pointy-toed pumps and other variations of cute shoes.

Now, I’m a logical young woman. I follow my gluten-free diet, I take my pills on time, I take my vitamins and rarely miss a doctor’s appointment. I try to take care of myself, and don’t take on more than I can handle.

But I refuse to give up wearing cute shoes. Cute, painful, inconvenient shoes.

I know, I know. I’m "going to kill myself walking in those things." It’s "no wonder" I limp. I’ve heard it all. But when I’m traipsing back to the parking garage at the end of the day, I don’t feel so badly – because I’m joined by countless other women limping along, teetering on the edge of sanity with their sky-high heels. In that moment, I’m not alone.

Could this be why I torture myself with the heels? Maybe a part of me thinks it is easier to hide behind the guise of "it’s just the shoes," rather than a chronic illness with no end in sight. I also think it’s my pride. I want to hold on to any sense of normalcy I can since sometimes my life isn’t exactly that of a "normal" 25-year-old. Do I have to give up something that, as silly as it is, makes me happy?

I know that I’m being stubborn, and I’m probably hurting my knee further, but here’s how I justify it: I’ve sacrificed enough. I have given up pizza, beer, "regular" baked goods and, really, any sense of being carefree. I’ve sacrificed sports. I’ve sacrificed nights out with friends. Isn’t it OK to be stubborn just this once?

I know there are far worse things that could happen in life – after all, they’re only shoes. But shoes are something I can control. The other things that bother me about chronic illness are things that I might not be able to change, even if I want to. So forgive me for wanting to hold on to my shoes. After all, I need to be well-heeled while I take the steps to kick these symptoms!

What do you think, reader? What have you sacrificed because of a health condition? Do you ever "cheat" and stray from what your doctor says, like I do with my shoes?