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The Book Party

Judith Martin | 01/08/2009 11:00 am

Judith Martin: Words Worth Repeating

Judith Martin

Bookish families have their pet quotations and references that they use in everyday life. For example, my grandmother would say to my mother, and my mother would say to me, "Yes, Gwendolyn, dear, whatever you want, Gwendolyn, as long as you are happy, that’s all that really matters."

Now, neither of us was named Gwendolyn. But as teenagers, we both had been given to acting imperiously on occasion (as what teenager has not?) and this was the gently sarcastic reprimand. It is not a quotation, but refers to Gwendolyn Harleth in George Eliot’s Daniel Deronda, the glamour-puss of her family to whom her mother always deferred, and who came to a sad end.

If my grandmother conceded to going along with something others wanted to do, she did not say, "OK, whatever." She said, "Barkis is willin’." In Charles Dickens’s David Copperfield Barkis, the coachman, sends this message to the nurse, Peggotty, expecting her to understand that it is a proposal of marriage.

Such conversational habits are far from the grandeur of quoting literature, which is why Shakespearean references don’t quite qualify. Rather, this is family shorthand or code, taken from each family’s own favorite books and used in common situations. (In public, my grandmother had only to say "Gwendolyn" to have my mother think "Uh-oh" and adjust her demeanor.) It is also an effective way to get the children to read those books, to find out what on earth the old folks are talking about.

We would like to hear yours.
Here are some of the others in my family:

"Up to a point, Lord Copper."
In Evelyn Waugh’s Scoop, that is what the foreign editor of the Beast says when he cannot quite give his other standard response to his chief, the press lord ("Definitely, Lord Copper") because his chief has said something dead wrong. It allows us to avoid saying, "You don’t know what you’re talking about."

"It was the salmon."
From Dickens’s The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club, used, as Mr. Snodgrass does, to justify being in a questionable state. As the author adds parenthetically,  "Somehow or other, it never is the wine in these cases."

"I am Duchess of Malfi still."
The title character in John Webster’s The Duchess of Malfi says this when she knows she is about to be strangled, so we use it as a way of saying, "You got me, but I’m not really giving in."

"I am Henry IV, and have been these 20 years."
A very different meaning from the above — this is said in Luigi Pirandello’s Henry IV by an alleged madman who is rich enough to have everyone indulge him in his impersonation of  that king; therefore, a way of saying, "OK, so I’m nuts, but that’s the way I am, so don’t give me a hard time."

"I’ve always wanted to wander in the Pyrenees."
"You’ll wander in them."

An exchange by the immobile characters in Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot (one of many we use, doing our best to reproduce the voices of Bert Lahr and E.G. Marshall in the great New York production), this serves as the "I dunno" answer to "What do you want to do?" or "Where shall we go?"

"He rode madly off in all directions."(Full version: "Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.")
Taken from Stephen Leacock’s Gertrude the Governess; or Simple Seventeen and useful when asked someone’s whereabouts, which you neither know nor think particularly important.

And of course, the most useful and widely quoted phrase of all —the triumph of the subordinate over the powerful — from Herman Melville’s Bartleby The Scrivener, in which the title character refuses orders from his employer, including that of vacating the premises after being fired, by saying: "I would prefer not to."

94 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Mugsy Peabody
Didn’t Marty come out at about the same time?
By Mugsy Peabody on 01/09/2009 9:17 pm
phyllis Doyle Pepe
No. Marty came out ten years earlier in 1955—Clowns in 1965.
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 01/09/2009 11:02 pm
Lynne Perrella
Oh, goooooood! Other people who appreciate “A Thousand Clowns”! I swear that film was partly responsible for my move to New York City as an 18-year-old art student. I wanted to participate in the zaniness. I couldn’t WAIT to be part of it. (the City has never disappointed in that regard, all these decades later. Yep, plenty of zaniness.) Back to “Clowns” — the humanity of the characters, their FACES, the cramped quality of the environment (“go to your alcove!”), the shouting out the window and “commanding” the neighborhood, the push-pull of the message (“Do you want to be right, OR get what you want”? Not a line from the movie at all, but a recurring question that comes up in my life all the time, and I think Murray was grappling with it in “Clowns”) and that magnificent “I’m outta here” exit speech by the fabulous Martin Balsam, etc. So much to love about that film. We think of it often, and quote from it frequently. One time, we were splurging on a stay at a very pricey Santa Monica hotel. I saw Jason Robards descending a staircase, across the way, and just about flipped. “It’s HIM!” I almost screeched. I wrote out a lets-face-it shameless FAN letter telling him that his role in “Clowns” was responsible for getting me to New York City, and that I’ve never regretted it, yadda yadda. I took it down to the desk, and asked if this missive could, uh, please be given to Mr. Robards. It was. I got a little note back, written on hotel stationery. Well, you coulda knocked me over………
By Lynne Perrella on 01/31/2009 7:27 am
Mugsy Peabody
Oh, right. I saw them together in 1965, because they were playing as a double feature. Hence, the confusion….
By Mugsy Peabody on 01/09/2009 11:33 pm
joan larsen
Once in a great while, a line in a movie continues to go around in your head years later. I have several. This is one: “A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.” Woody Allen speaking in - yes - “Annie Hall”!!
By joan larsen on 01/10/2009 11:58 am
Tee Zee
Ahhh…movie lines…one of my favorites I use far too often is from Thelma and Louise…”It doesn’t matter, brains will only take you so far and luck always runs out”!
By Tee Zee on 01/10/2009 1:34 pm
joan larsen
Loved that movie — and the quote is great … once I get going I am full of them … but I will cease and desist.
By joan larsen on 01/10/2009 2:12 pm
joan larsen
Bet you don’t where your quote originally came from —- Mel Brook wrote a song by this name for his 1970 film “The Twelve Chairs” - just a bit of trivia.
By joan larsen on 01/10/2009 2:57 pm
Tee Zee
wOw Joan, I did not know that! Thanks…
By Tee Zee on 01/10/2009 3:30 pm
joan larsen
What crazy things we remember … and then forget the important words.
By joan larsen on 01/10/2009 3:47 pm
joan larsen
Merrell … don’t ever think I would forget . . but your story is going around in my head as I try to imagine I was you and the thoughts as you found out more and more. But outside of brief moments, I have dealt with company, snow shoveling, and look for something tomorrow as it was a story of stories and when I write - well, you know that I can’t seem to stop and didn’t have the free moments LONg enough — Just know I am thinking WOW! what a life you have had. I love to get out of my world and my own circle — and you have made a new and different world open. YOu will be hearing!!!! Sorry about the delay - unavoidable and now late. Joan
By joan larsen on 01/10/2009 10:21 pm
joan larsen
Good morning — Your own story beat out all books and I found it - and your writing - the best of many a year. Sure, we all have tales of family — but not in this category. Do you mind if I take it one section at a time, letting you know how much I appreciate your “spilling” it as you have done for me in a way that I feel that I know your relatives and also your own feelings in one fell swoop? Otherwise, I cannnot do this justice. Your childhood - your wonderful life (as it had to be) - being chosen by a mother and father with such intelligence and class was the blessing of blessings. I don’t have to tell you that. I believe that we are somehow imprinted in many ways by our childhood life and experiences. With parents already achieving “the heights”, knowing people of that caliber on a personal basis, you would consider as a child “your life” - and only later - even now - are you fully appreciating what gifts you have been given. For it is not the material gifts - but the good life, the quality of life, and the mannered world, filled with intellect that formed you. I too was like you - you might guess. I was a champion swimmer, went all over Wisconsin playing field hockey and basketball as a teen, and while that and nature were not touted at my own home, this was “my thing”. But subtly, we look back later and find that we actually have been pulled in to the parents’ lives and like a sponge, have absorbed it also. My story is not the same, of course, but the essentials of it were. And thank God for that. Full appreciation unfortunately for most comes too late to give the parents the thanks they deserved. That is my only regret in life. My childhood world was wonderful also - and only looking back do I realize that it was a dream life. For until you, I have not found in anyone that it could be equalled. And I was formed and given a confidence from the opportunities that I had early that I didn’t know that everyone did not have - like you. I am sure you have stories of your childhood and I would love to hear them — as I find this as about as fascinating as it gets. Will you tell more of this stage — and I will not be banned from WOW for length of writing … and go to your next section in the next day. Intrigued and beyond - Joan
By joan larsen on 01/11/2009 12:06 pm
joan larsen
Merrell … I would suggest that as soon as this subject goes off the page, you send your e-mail to me if you will, and I will then write to you privately. I have gone in this direction several times and had no problem. How would that be … and then you will feel more free to share. I would like that. Joan
By joan larsen on 01/11/2009 10:09 pm
Tee Zee
Life on the planet is born of woman Adrienne Rich
By Tee Zee on 01/10/2009 3:55 pm
Blue Lizard
Reading a short story by Carol Shields—huge book so forgot which one, but she gives the mother of Ernest Hemingway a classic line which actually becomes sort of a touchstone among the people who hear it. I’ve started to adopt it—“That would be useful.” Half of its appeal is that it was said in regard to someone offering to wash dinner dishes.
By Blue Lizard on 01/10/2009 6:05 pm