Sign in to wowOwow

Enter the email address that you used when registering at wowOwow.
The password field is case sensitive. Click here if you have forgotten your password.

Please register for wowOwow

Newsletter subscriptions
Sign up to receive wowOwow's weekly newsletter and get our best picks delivered right to your inbox. Our newsletter content is hand-picked by the wowOwow editorial team and provides the top features, news, and commentary from our site. Subscribing to our newsletter is free and safe. We will never share your email or other information with a third-party without your direct consent.
By registering, you indicate that you have read and agree
with our privacy policy and terms of service.
The Book Party

Judith Martin | 01/08/2009 11:00 am

Judith Martin: Words Worth Repeating

Judith Martin

Bookish families have their pet quotations and references that they use in everyday life. For example, my grandmother would say to my mother, and my mother would say to me, "Yes, Gwendolyn, dear, whatever you want, Gwendolyn, as long as you are happy, that’s all that really matters."

Now, neither of us was named Gwendolyn. But as teenagers, we both had been given to acting imperiously on occasion (as what teenager has not?) and this was the gently sarcastic reprimand. It is not a quotation, but refers to Gwendolyn Harleth in George Eliot’s Daniel Deronda, the glamour-puss of her family to whom her mother always deferred, and who came to a sad end.

If my grandmother conceded to going along with something others wanted to do, she did not say, "OK, whatever." She said, "Barkis is willin’." In Charles Dickens’s David Copperfield Barkis, the coachman, sends this message to the nurse, Peggotty, expecting her to understand that it is a proposal of marriage.

Such conversational habits are far from the grandeur of quoting literature, which is why Shakespearean references don’t quite qualify. Rather, this is family shorthand or code, taken from each family’s own favorite books and used in common situations. (In public, my grandmother had only to say "Gwendolyn" to have my mother think "Uh-oh" and adjust her demeanor.) It is also an effective way to get the children to read those books, to find out what on earth the old folks are talking about.

We would like to hear yours.
Here are some of the others in my family:

"Up to a point, Lord Copper."
In Evelyn Waugh’s Scoop, that is what the foreign editor of the Beast says when he cannot quite give his other standard response to his chief, the press lord ("Definitely, Lord Copper") because his chief has said something dead wrong. It allows us to avoid saying, "You don’t know what you’re talking about."

"It was the salmon."
From Dickens’s The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club, used, as Mr. Snodgrass does, to justify being in a questionable state. As the author adds parenthetically,  "Somehow or other, it never is the wine in these cases."

"I am Duchess of Malfi still."
The title character in John Webster’s The Duchess of Malfi says this when she knows she is about to be strangled, so we use it as a way of saying, "You got me, but I’m not really giving in."

"I am Henry IV, and have been these 20 years."
A very different meaning from the above — this is said in Luigi Pirandello’s Henry IV by an alleged madman who is rich enough to have everyone indulge him in his impersonation of  that king; therefore, a way of saying, "OK, so I’m nuts, but that’s the way I am, so don’t give me a hard time."

"I’ve always wanted to wander in the Pyrenees."
"You’ll wander in them."

An exchange by the immobile characters in Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot (one of many we use, doing our best to reproduce the voices of Bert Lahr and E.G. Marshall in the great New York production), this serves as the "I dunno" answer to "What do you want to do?" or "Where shall we go?"

"He rode madly off in all directions."(Full version: "Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.")
Taken from Stephen Leacock’s Gertrude the Governess; or Simple Seventeen and useful when asked someone’s whereabouts, which you neither know nor think particularly important.

And of course, the most useful and widely quoted phrase of all —the triumph of the subordinate over the powerful — from Herman Melville’s Bartleby The Scrivener, in which the title character refuses orders from his employer, including that of vacating the premises after being fired, by saying: "I would prefer not to."

94 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Blue Lizard
Btw, this is an awesome thread!
By Blue Lizard on 01/10/2009 6:08 pm
Blue Lizard
Did you hear about Joan’s and my idea to ask Wow for a weekly animal thread/column? If you like the idea, email Wow! Thanks, BL.
By Blue Lizard on 01/10/2009 11:42 pm
Jane A. Roper
Inherent capacities cannot be exceeded, a pint can never hold a quart”. The Urantia Book, pg 556. This is something we say to one another or think to ourselves when we hear a cruel or unkind comment that is just too difficult to comprehend.
By Jane A. Roper on 01/10/2009 7:48 pm
Lee Harrison
As I was walking on the beach this morning, I thought of another quote I love to spout…and did to my kids repeatedly: “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.” Kris Kristofferson
By Lee Harrison on 01/11/2009 9:24 am
fiona two
Always admit you faults and mistakes before some else greatly exagerates them. Author unknown to me.
By fiona two on 01/11/2009 6:49 pm
Monica Morrison
There are a few of these I have acquired through the years. “Stop being such a Jezebel” from the woman who was owner and Bible teacher at my summer camp in North Carolina after she recounted to us the story of the ill-fated queen. Often times when I think about all the time I’ve spent at home moping after difficult life circumstances and my parents’ divorce, I can’t help but think of Miss Havisham in Great Expectations and those clocks. Perhaps when I get older and have children of my own, when they begin to mope around and live in the past, I can tell them that I “know what time the clock keeps here.” For now, I’ll just keep the reprimand to myself as part of my New Year’s Resolution to be more productive and less mired in criticism and the past. Privately, of course, and never meant to be taken literally, whenever I feel the need to deal with a difficult relative I tell myself that “She would of been a good woman…” This is meant to reference that Flannery O’Connor story, “A Good Man Is Hard to Find.” And not for the murderous connotation, only for the reference to that nasty grandmother. There are also some lovely Elizabeth Bishop quotes I think of when I think of my friends. Often, when waiting for them to arrive before we embark on an adventure, I shout in my mind “Come flying!” There are others that are probably best left private. Also, in college (when I suppose I read a lot of Bishop), I saw young men and women going from building to building on fraternity row on cold winter afternoons. I would often hum in my head “Naked, you trot across the avenue.” I must say I admire your work very much, Ms. Martin— I’ve read your manner books cover-to-cover, beginning with your Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior I found in a used book shop a few years ago that was published in the 1970’s. Since, I’ve googled for every little bit of your writing I can find on the web when I read weekend Style sections online. My manners are far from perfect, but they are much better thanks to your help. I am so glad you have decided to contribute to something like Wowowow. Your manner articles are a delight, but I like the way you have fit into this medium and I am happy to see you writing on multiple topics. As an aspiring young writer, it is very comforting to see your positive effect having a good influence on emerging new media. You are a true role model. Someday I’ll work up the courage to ask you for a reading list and apply to work for you.
By Monica Morrison on 01/11/2009 8:01 pm
Blue Lizard
I am sorry to devalue your eloquent response, but your bringing up “A Good Man is Hard To Find” reminded me of a teacher I once knew, who, shall we say, inadvertantely switched the two adjectives in the title . This is now a not-so-literary joke among a few friends of mine… your examples are much better. ;)
By Blue Lizard on 01/13/2009 12:36 am
f p
For this says all about my loving lover: In the blue harbor of your eyes Blow rains of melodious lights, Dizzy suns and sails Painting their voyage to endlessness. In the blue harbor of your eyes Is an open sea window, And birds appear in the distance Searching for islands still unborn. In the blue harbor of your eyes Snow falls in July. Ships laden with turquoise Spill over the sea and are not drowned. In the blue harbor of your eyes I run on the scattered rocks like a child Breathing the fragrance of the sea And return an exhausted bird. In the blue harbor of your eyes Stones sing in the night. Who has hidden a thousand poems In the closed book of your eyes? If only, if only I were a sailor, If only somebody’d give me a boat, I would furl my sails each evening In the blue harbor of your eyes. Nizar Qabbani
By f p on 01/13/2009 8:33 am
Marian Wynn
I don’t know where this one came from…. it was a quote at the bottom of an email 10 years ago of many quotes. I am a public librarian in a small rural town in south east Alabama. I voted for Obama and am a democrat in a very red state. I live by this anonymous quote: “Have an open mind. Don’t worry. Your brains will not fall out.” The article is about quotes from books, but I have one from the lyrics from Click Click Boom by Saliva: So just sit back and relax And let me have your head for a minute I can show you something in it that has yet to be presented, oh yeah! Saliva - “Click Click Boom”“
By Marian Wynn on 01/14/2009 9:47 am
Dace Cooke
Being a single mom and having limited funds my daughter and I used the library joyfully. My daughter and I share a life long passion for books. Let’s go the LIBRARY holds deep meaning. My daughter still carries with her her first library card and when she graduated from medical school at her celebration she proudly exhibited both!
By Dace Cooke on 01/14/2009 9:47 am
Lynne Perrella
If the folks at WOW could grant one wish, I would love to have more of this kind of dialog on the site. I admit, I am new to the mix, so perhaps these discussions about books, films and words-to-live-by are more frequent than I have observed in the past couple of weeks. But, I can only say that this sharing of personal stories, woven in with talk about literature and film, has been wonderful….and I hope it will continue. Thank you to everyone who added to this thread - I truly enjoyed every quote, every website rec, every movie story, every snippet of humor, every everything. Terrific!
By Lynne Perrella on 01/31/2009 7:39 am
Marina B.
Into the valley of Death rode the six hundred” and “Ours not to question why, ours only to do or die” (paraphrased), both from Tennyson. The first used when embarking on an unpleasant task, the latter when embarking on a task which makes no sense to the person who has to do it.
By Marina B. on 02/01/2009 7:47 pm