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The Book Party

A Friend Stopped By | 01/27/2009 6:00 am

The Ultimate, Revised Joy of Sex and the Man Who Put Women on Top

By Elizabeth Hayt
Amazon

Editor’s Note: Elizabeth Hayt is the author of I’m No Saint: Memoir of a Wayward Wife. She lives in Manhattan where she is a freelance writer and unrepentant, erstwhile sexaholic. Visit her website by clicking here.

The late Alex C. Comfort and I go way back together, beginning in 1972, the year when he – a gerontologist and political activist in his early 50s — published his groundbreaking bestseller, The Joy of Sex: A Gourmet Guide to Love Making. I was 11, a suburban prepubescent, with a new sprig of fine hair down there, sex hormones heating up and a mouth perpetually pursed to kiss just about any boy willing and ready.

My introduction to his work occurred one Saturday afternoon in Great Neck, Long Island, where I grew up. The phone rang and it was my best friend, making an urgent plea for me to rush right over before her parents, who were out playing golf or tennis, came home. Since she lived only a half mile away, I hopped on my Schwinn, pedaling furiously to the family’s single-family ranch where she was waiting outside, impatiently tapping her foot on the pebble driveway. Hustling me in, she led the way to her parents’ bedroom. The closer we came, the harder my heart thumped, as we were about to violate their no-entry rule. What reason could there be for such brazen disobedience? What else but the scorcher of a book?!

Snatching it from the night table, we sat cross-legged on the white shag carpeting, pointing and giggling at what were to our wide-eyes X-rated illustrations of a pair of aging stoners sharing a deep affection for each other’s droopy reproductive parts, slackening skin, body odors and hirsuteness.

The man had stringy hair, an unkempt beard and coarse features, making him appear to be in an arrested state of evolution, a vestige belying Cro-Magnon extinction. His hooded penis – a freakish-looking member bearing no likeness to the circumcised organs belonging to those that my friend and I spied when our brothers were naked – made us two girls roll over, grunting and gagging in theatrics of disgust. As for the man’s female companion, her shaggy mane seemed in desperate need of a good cut and blowout from our local hair salon, Peter’s Place, and her dense tufts of armpit hair were in dire straits, silently screaming for a liberal slathering of Nair.

The couple’s facial expressions betrayed shameless states of ecstasy as their bodies interlocked in endlessly changing, contorted and animalistic positions. The depictions of them doing it from behind made the act appear particularly uncouth, as lacking in finesse as dogs humping. And the book made special note of postures with strange, foreign names, from "croupade" to "cuissade" to "flanquette," each promising female pleasure since they simultaneously allowed for clitoral and vaginal stimulation.

Admittedly, neither my friend nor I knew what the hell all that meant, though the broader, underlying message that a lack of inhibition was essential to satisfying sex, and that lovemaking was also supposed to feel just as good for females as it did for males, along with the titillating potential of light bondage, discipline, mirrors, stockings, vibrators, bisexuality and innovative ways of having fun with food, would have a latent impression on me. It would sustain any number of postadolescent, masturbatory fantasies, as well as an openness to erotic experimentation and expectation of gratification once I came of age to partake in pleasures of the flesh à deux.

Although I failed to actually read most of the book, only skimming the naughtier passages, the graphic illustrations hypnotized me. They were the source of a lot of dirty stuff that made me popular with boys – bad boys, naturally, the rest being scared off. Of course, my erotic precocity alarmed my parents who made the progressive-minded decision to not deadbolt the door to my bedroom from the outside in order to keep me in lockdown but, instead, to send me directly to a shrink’s couch in the hopes that I could be talked back into a state of grace. As if.

24 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Chrome Toe
This comment has been deleted as it violated the Ten Commandments of Posting on our website.
By Chrome Toe on 01/27/2009 7:52 am
Belinda Joy
Boy does this bring back memories! This book was one of a handful at the time that changed America’s psyche in regard to sex. Now it’s tame and HUGELY antiquated. The sexual activities men and women engage in today are far beyond anything ever covered in The Joy of Sex.
By Belinda Joy on 01/27/2009 8:27 am
Catherine Kaiman
Boy does this bring back memories! This book was one of a handful at the time that changed America’s psyche in regard to sex. Now it’s tame and HUGELY antiquated. The sexual activities men and women engage in today are far beyond anything ever covered in The Joy of Sex. By Belinda . on 01/27/2009 9:27 am Which is why I was able to purchase this book at a garage sale last Spring, for $1.00! I thought it might be an interesting read, but it got shoved in a box which is stored away safely in my crawlspace, it didn’t even make it onto the bookshelf, I think it embarrassed my husband that I bought it…LOL.
By Catherine Kaiman on 01/28/2009 2:41 pm
Ms. Dee
It amazes me. All this exposure, and sex remains a powerful mystery. Better to respect it than in exploit it, imho.
By Ms. Dee on 01/27/2009 8:54 am
kermie b
Back when I was in my 20s, I had an extraordinary boyfriend who would cheerfully ruffle the pages of The Joy of Sex, saying “Pick a page!” Looking back, I think we were gymnasts. Those experiences gave me a healthy respect for respectful men.
By kermie b on 01/27/2009 11:45 am
Lady Gator
kermie b —-I think we both had the same boyfriend! :) Back then we were more than gymnasts we were also contortionists! Ah, but our bodies were more flexible and supple. Today we’d end up with a neck and back brace. I’vd often wondered who is coming in the dark of night and kidnapped all my younger body parts? What a fun article.
By Lady Gator on 01/27/2009 12:59 pm
Lorraine Bates
I hope we didn’t all have the same boyfriend, because I married the one that did that! LOL!
By Lorraine Bates on 01/29/2009 10:24 am
Lady Gator
Lorraine — Wouldn’t that be a hoot? :)
By Lady Gator on 01/29/2009 3:06 pm
Lady Gator
Yes, please come again Elizabeth. I am still laughing!
By Lady Gator on 01/27/2009 1:01 pm
Dab-a- do
Ok, I’m not the nice girl on the block…loved every minute of this post…please, more of Elizabeth. Now that the election is over and the new president is in office, fun time for us old timers and we like it “hot”, lol.
By Dab-a- do on 01/27/2009 1:16 pm
Brooklyn Gal
This was a fun read. And did bring back memories!! Thank you Elizabeth. Finally a breath of fresh air, fun and fortunately nothing political. Do come again!
By Brooklyn Gal on 01/27/2009 8:32 pm
Agyness O
Well done, Elizabeth…makes me nostalgic. Aaaahhhh, those were the days. Come back soon and remind us of more!
By Agyness O on 01/27/2009 9:20 pm
Tear E
Funny but I never saw that book at my home. Instead the Happy Hooker was innocently left laying around the house. I remember my parents reading it, taking turns. When I did pick it up there were no pictures but wow did it shock me. LOL
By Tear E on 01/30/2009 8:42 pm
Vivvy Stewart
I still have my original copy of The Joy of Sex, along with More Joy, or whatever the official title of the sequel was. Makes me smile and long to turn the clock back. ; )
By Vivvy Stewart on 02/01/2009 12:34 pm
f p
I for one have always believed women belong on top.
By f p on 02/02/2009 3:23 pm