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The Book Party

A Friend Stopped By | 01/26/2009 7:00 am

Staying Alive: Four Reasons Why Women Are Better Survivors Than Men, by Ben Sherwood

By Ben Sherwood
Amazon

Editor’s note: Ben Sherwood is executive director of TheSurvivorsClub.org and author of the new book, The Survivors Club: The Secrets and Science that Could Save Your Life (Grand Central Publishing). He is a former executive producer of ABC’s "Good Morning America" and senior broadcast producer of "NBC Nightly News."

Men are stronger, tougher and more resilient than women. At least that’s what our culture (and stereotypes) pound into our heads. Consider the hit television show "Survivor" on CBS. In 17 completed seasons, only seven women have managed to outmaneuver and outlast everyone else and win. In real life, the numbers are entirely different. Indeed, women are much better survivors than men. I discovered this surprising fact in the woods of Washington State, where the United States Air Force trains its people in the art of survival, evasion, resistance and escape (shorthand: SERE). When I asked a hard-nosed instructor if he can tell immediately who’s got the survival instinct and who doesn’t, his answer was unexpected. After putting countless men and women through very uncomfortable survival training – translation: wet, cold, exhausting and hungry – it turns out that women rule, especially moms. In this instructor’s experience, women who have gone through childbirth frequently fare better than the most strapping aviators. Under extreme pressure and deprivation, he says, the brawniest men can crumble like blue cheese while moms hang tough.

Under extreme pressure and deprivation, he says, the brawniest men can crumble like blue cheese while moms hang tough.

Obviously, your chances of survival depend on specific circumstances (and men definitely possess certain physical advantages), but the Air Force instructor wanted to make a point: Moms are impressively unflinching in the face of adversity. After all, he explains, moms have handled real pain. They understand sacrifice. They’re driven by a purpose greater than themselves. They’re problem solvers and multitaskers. They’re accustomed to delaying gratification. In short, they’re very effective survivors.

If the ultimate measure of survival is who stays alive longest, here’s another fact: Around the world, women out-survive men every day. In the United States, the female survival advantage is around 5.3 years.

Why are women better survivors on average? There are many reasons, including:

1. Women Play It Safer: The numbers are telling. Especially in their younger years, more men die in accidents than women. More men are murdered than women. More men commit suicide than women. During the so-called "testosterone storm," experts say, men simply do more dangerous things, like playing with guns.

2. Women Deal With Pain: Women feel more pain than men — they’re more sensitive to it — but they handle it better. In fact, according to one study, women experience 40 percent more arthritis pain than men, but they cope with it more effectively, bounce back faster and are less likely to let it take over their lives. As one pain researcher says of women, "With greater vulnerability comes greater strength."

3. Women Are Better Drivers: Risking a heated argument, consider the numbers. On average, men have a 77-percent greater risk of losing their lives in a car accident than women, according to Traffic STATS. To be sure, men are cited for reckless driving 3.4 times more often than women, according to Quality Planning, a company that checks policyholder information for car insurance companies. They also get around five percent more traffic violations that result in accidents. And men are more prone to breaking speeding, passing and yielding laws. In short, guys die more often in car wrecks.

54 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

C jay
Let’s see, Ms. Dee - were you “A Realist”? ;-)) I agree with you, though; however, there is no denying that females are merely better educated out of the SW, thus turn out differently. Having traveled extensively, and lived in several states, the difference is quickly noticed in communications. It must be remembered, though, that many of those “knuckleheads” migrated to Texas to become “big peas in small pods, ” as I did hear one of them say in 1970, when he bought a “looks like new” Caddy and assumed no one would know “down here” that is was a used Caddy. The knucklehead forgot from when I came! It must be realized, though, that the education level in Texas has been one of the lowest in the nation from day one, and to us Naturalized Texans it’s obvious that it is intended. I am constantly amazed at the knowledge base in the hardest workers in Texas, and immigrants, too - with and without excellent language skills (English). The difference is obvious. The universities pay top dollar for their coaches yet only offer expensive, mediocre education to their students, low pay grades for academic faculty (although there’s enough money for all), non-academics are often hired for top-level high paid leadership (an academic no-no, or worse, recycled politicians!), and they get the chambers of commerce to flaunt their glory so every one thinks things are just swell, until those grads try to get into grad schools elsewhere. Hence, the state has doctors full of institutional incest (or float a few miles in either direction intrastate) so now medical care is also mediocre - they were educated in the same universities in which they earned a BS/BA in. Sheesh. Most states worry about their “brain-drain.” Not in Texas. Pre K-12 education is terrible, unless a child ends up in a magnet or private school - or home-schooled. But, there’s enough money here t hat this last month it was announced the pay for the TT football coach (the one who won’t talk, dress respectfully, much less move much) a $12M min salary plus perks that raise that up, while the students are falling off and the local food back there didn’t make their Goal in December, in a “dry” county, no less. Isn’t something wrong with that picture? (Must admit, their women’s basketball coach acts the same way - what role models for the students!) But, Texas is not west Texas, it merely needs to catch up with the rest of the nation, and also take its surplus $$ this year, and educate the little children, and care for the sick, most vulnerable, and abolish its minimum wage. Then we’d understand why a church is on every corner - not a plea for help but to praise.
By C jay on 01/26/2009 7:36 pm
Marina B.
Actually, having had CPR training on a regular basis, the process that is taught is to check breathing, then start CPR immediately if there is someone else around who can call 911. In a grocery store, there would be others around, so someone who knows CPR should start that immediately, if the person isn’t breathing.
By Marina B. on 01/31/2009 2:39 pm
thatsoutherngirl k
I came face to face with a bear when I was younger. I was gathering wood in the woods for my daddy and I heard these growl. I thought maybe it was a racoon then thought to myself “racoons don’t come out in the daylight” I looked up and there he was in all his glory. I quickly looked around and ran a mile all the way back to the house and told my daddy(I could hardly breathe!!)Next morning we see him crossing the road,
By thatsoutherngirl k on 01/26/2009 2:43 pm
Ms. Dee
Yikes! Ms. K! Now, there’s a tale to tell the grandkids! I was camping with my church youth group in the Smokies when a bear came into our camp. I didn’t see it. It was after dark, and we were all in our tents. But we’d had the talk from the ranger before we pitched camp, so when the minister found a flashlight and was heading off to investigate (which was precisely what we’d been told NOT to do) I took off running for the ranger station…in my bare feet and my shortie pajamas. I was probably about 12. I’ll never forget that gravelly pavement disappearing under my feet. And it didn’t hurt. But the ranger loaded me in his jeep and when we got back to the campsite, the bear had run off and everybody was okay. I was just sure we’d find the poor reverend torn limb from limb. But, no. Driving out, everyone started to question how I managed to run so far…according to the odometer, it was close to two miles from our campsite to the ranger station…but it whizzed by in no time that night. In fact, it felt like a much slower trip in the car. So…God and adrenaline…take y’places, I guess. Ha!
By Ms. Dee on 01/26/2009 4:53 pm
thatsoutherngirl k
HA! I couldn’t run a mile so fast in any other circumstanes!
By thatsoutherngirl k on 01/26/2009 5:17 pm
Green Tears
I,too, am a realist. I probably always have been, but assisting my parents over the last year and a half has made me more so. As they grapple with aging and illness(Parkinson’s for her and Alzheimer’s for him), it is usually me as the not-always-welcome voice of reason guiding them through their new realities. Somedays are definitely too real.
By Green Tears on 01/26/2009 1:16 pm
C jay
Hugs for you, GT. You deserve our loving care, too. Right now, you have to be a realist. Everything changes, including us. We waltz from one category to another, hopefully, depending on that which is before us and, hopefully, have a solid base of philosophy for ourselves that sustains the flow we must tread. That isn’t to say there is anything wrong with running across the highway nude, tearing your hair out, and screaming at the top of your lungs now and then. Have you seen the section for caregivers at www.medicare.gov?
By C jay on 01/26/2009 1:40 pm
Green Tears
Thanks so much, C jay, for your kind thoughts. I have never considered the naked running thing, but sometimes think about bashing my head against the woodwork! Seriously, when asked how I cope when sandwiched between my 2 teens and my folks, I tell people that it all works out because I have a wonderful husband and a great dog. I had not seen the website - thanks! I added it to my favorites so I can use it as a quick resource.
By Green Tears on 01/26/2009 6:53 pm
C jay
There are great resources on it, GT. I was in on the teleconference to launch the site, and felt so honored. I once had my grandma, too, but she wouldn’t move 1200 miles to my home, so I traveled!!! (I adored her.) I used to call my life, “the peanut-butter sandwich era,” with the kids on one side, and elders on the other; sticky, no less. I merely needed more honey! Unfortunately “my folks” ignored her. I’m waiting for Karma to roll around.
By C jay on 01/26/2009 7:41 pm
Lee Harrison
GT, “Some days are definitely too real.” Yikes! May you have an abundance of support, strength and humor to help you through this journey.
By Lee Harrison on 01/27/2009 6:29 am
%$#@* !@&*^!!
Women are survivors because we have the better films and theme songs running in our heads. The Bee-Gee’s “Staying Alive” vs Donna Summer’s “I Will Survive.” Two vastly different ideas. Struggle vs. transcendance. In men’s movies they blow everything up and everyone dies. In women’s there’s a kiss and nice music at the end. I know…don’t generalize….but it’s true. Just as the fact that Republican think everyman for himself in this gigantic rat-f*ck…..and Democrats are more…oh well…I’ve spread enough BS for one day. My work here is through.
By %$#@* !@&*^!! on 01/26/2009 2:43 pm
Ms. Dee
Oh, don’t stop now! I think you are absolutely correct! Frank Sinatra: “Come Fly with Me” Doris Day: “Kay sera, sera.” Ha.
By Ms. Dee on 01/26/2009 5:51 pm
Rho
I came out a realist too. I really doubt that.
By Rho on 01/26/2009 3:10 pm
Lee Harrison
Am I the only one who came out “connector?” Like many of you, I had more than one answer, or a sequence of actions for many of the questions. Oh well…a little afternoon parlor game.
By Lee Harrison on 01/26/2009 4:48 pm
C jay
Take it again, Lee. With that bill, you’re bound to catch “more fish.” ;-)) Neva give up, neva, neva!
By C jay on 01/26/2009 7:42 pm