The micro is the macro - and the macro is the micro. Or like Gloria Steinem said - the political is personal and the personal is political. For me, I’m changing the world by the way I conduct business, by the way I raise my children and by the way I feel about myself. I’m changing the world by finally getting off the sidelines and operating with courage and action. This is a vast and intimate view of the world - playing it forward like the mustard seed that roared.

My mom is still in the hospital tonight. To cheer her up I called a male friend who is younger than myself that my mother thinks is the most gorgeous man on earth, and let him know she was very sick and in the hospital. First, he asked for the phone number to call her, and then he asked if we could pray for her together (he’s a minister) right then on the phone. It was such a surprisingly kind thing for him to do. When we got off the phone he promptly called her, told her jokes, flirted with her, and then prayed with her. I just talked to mom and her spirits were soaring because ‘ole blue eyes’ called her all the way from Colorado, made her laugh, and prayed with her as well. Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness mean so very much when our world is feeling so complicated.

I watched Nova last night and it nearly broke my heart. Check it out: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/beautiful/. Women - many of whom are really just girls - who have suffered tragic childbirth injuries who live as social outcasts with no future. There is hope and there is a way to help. Check out http://www.fistulafoundation.org/.

Change the World! How about we just keep it alive. Only in America can a 78 year old woman be admitted to a top hospital for a severe COPD episode and for the first day and a half have the dosage of one of her daily meds for a neurological disorder misread and only give her half the dose. They couldn’t understand why her tremors were so severe! I had to wait until the nurses weren’t too busy, 2AM, to advise them of their error. Here we are 4 days later and the ‘Hospitalist of the Day’ determines she needs to have an anti-anxiety medication. Oh Oops! She’s already on one. Then neglects to notice the red band indicating which drugs cause allergic and/or deadly reactions and prescribes one of them anyway. After a battery of tests yesterday they determined that the pain and blood in her abdomen was from the stomach injections of anti-clotting medication they insisted she have which caused blood vessels to break and bleed internally. Then matter-of-factly asks what nursing home she wants to be discharged to, and couldn’t understand why her patient, my mother, breaks down in tears. It took me over 4 hours of speaking with the nursing staff, her Primary Care Physician who admitted her, her Pulmonary Specialist who manages her COPD , and her Neurologist who treats her tremor disorder just to get the authorization for her Neurologist to do a hospital consult and make sure they don’t kill her with incorrect meds, and by the by also have the ‘Hospitalist of the Day’ banned from ever prescribing or speaking to my mother again. What is wrong with this picture? Maybe the first order of health care reform in this country ought to be that nurses and doctors actually read their patients files and pay attention to the things that matter. Am I mad? Damn right! If I have to do all the work, then I ought to get all their pay. What do you think?

On the micro level, I am a starving artist, photographer and poet. Literally. I am beyond good at what I do and it is my passion. But I can not get my career off the ground and do not have a clue how to. Being disabled; more in income than in body, I have not the resources to get my work beyond my home where the public can view it. Publishers do not read hand written materials. Most of my pictures are on my computer so I do not lose them; but, can continue to take new pictures. I can not get them printed up to show to anyone. As an artist I am unique and have wanted so much to share it with the world since long before I started writing or shooting photography. There is not much pen and ink pointillism out there and my take on it is inspiring. Unfortunately because I can not frame the pictures, nor can I put them in a portfolio which would be even better for showing many of them are starting to get ruined from rubbing even though I put a blank peice of paper between them. I am also severely limited on transportation (strictly local) due to the condition of my car and my gas budget being limited to one tank of gas or $40.00 a month maximum which ever comes first. Right now $40.00 is 3/4 of a tank. I want to help myself get off of the system. I have the talent, skill, passion and desire to give of my best to the world. I do not have the resources. As the cost of living keeps rising and my income does not it is getting steadily harder just to survive. We relly are starving. And no matter how many Charities or Agencies may be listed in the phone book the reality is that there is Welfare, SSi, Section 8 (which pays part of my rent) and Food Stamps and that is IT. It is no longer enough not when Welfare is still expecting us to live as if this were the 1940’s or 50’s. That is not realistic. Also on the micro level I have a daughter that wants to go into the Peace Corps; but, she dropped out of school because she is dyslexic and the school’s way of dealing with it was to humiliate and continuously punisher her. They would not acknowledge the dyslexia at all. Here it just does not exist. Instead she was labled as lazy, and oppositional. I had to pull her out and put her in an Alternative School where the problem was in some ways even worse as the students are completely on their own so there is even more reading and writing required of them. She has given up. Her pain is so great that she stopped dancing. She had taught herself to dance pointe when after three years she had to give up dance classes because of the rising costs of living. She was teaching herself to play the guitar; but, is not doing much of that either. To complicate things she is bi-polar and ADD but getting help for those has been a losing battle too and now she recently turned eighteen so her insurance is gone. I love her so much and am powerless to help her because of my finances and because of the rules of the system. On a micro level my son is a talented singer. Her even got accepted into the Young Americans A few years ago; but, again money ended another dream. Now he is working himself into the ground with no hope of ever acheiving any dreams. He too has given up. On a micro level my oldest daughter is seven months pregnant, homeless, without a car and past mistakes have ruined her credit. No matter have much she works after child support there is not enough left for her to afford even a roach infested studio apartment. Again I am powerless to help her. I am already raising her first child and looking to adopt her. Her second child was taken from her by her exhusband whose family decided they wanted the child. So they pushed her into dancing in a strip club and then used it as grounds to take the baby from her. She has not seen him in nearly four years. She misses him so much. The few times she managed to travel to Wisconsin for her visitations they refused to let her see him much less take him for her alloted time. On the macro level we are a family a kind, loving talented individuals. We have much to offer the world. Even I wish to do the Peace Corps or something similiar. We are all hard workers. It is just that we are each trapped in a financial prison. We have learned the hard way that freedom is directly related to the size or one’s wallet and resources. We want to come out into the light of day and help make this world a great place to live. We just need a village to help us. Arbitary Charities may sound good to the average American but to us it just means continuing to go hungry while noone understands why. Will someone please help Us help ourselves instead of just another arbitary Charity.

HELP! Let Me Out! Mitchell has autism and is nine years old. When Mitchell was diagnosed I left this happy, bright world and went into the dark world of autism. It was the only thing I could do to keep him near me. I did not want autism to take my child. What ended up happening is autism took me instead. Mitchell is high functioning and is quite the little genius. While I on the other hand am locked inside the autism cage. Mitchell and I are most certainly attached at the hip. We do everything together. If we can’t do it together then we don’t do it! Sounds sweet doesn’t it? Well, let me tell you it is not so sweet. I am obsessed with him. I follow him around for no reason at all. I say I am doing it to protect him, protect him from what? I *sit with him when he eats so that I know he ate and is getting the food inside his tummy and not inside the doggies tummy. I sit with him in the bathroom while he takes his bath so that he does not drown. I sit with him when he is watching TV so that I know what he is watching is acceptable programming. I sit outside with him when he is riding his bike so that should he fall I will be there to pick him up. I sit on the end of his bed until he falls asleep so that I know he is resting and not dead. I sit with him when he is playing quietly so that I can protect him from some evil action figure that might come to life and poke his eye out! I am always so worried for him. What will happen if I just let him be? OH, NO can’t think about that; too many things could go wrong! RIGHT? He has had a babysitter one time in his life and I have never let him stay overnight with Grandma. Deep down in my heart I know I have to let him go. Usually I brush that thought away and justify my hovering with some lame excuse. Here is the hard ugly truth I do the obsessing to justify my existence! Can anyone else relate? Is it just me? Can anyone tell me how to get over separation anxiety? If you find the key would you please come and let me out of this cage? I refuse to take mothers little helpers. I would like some sound advice that does not involve drugs. I need to stay alert and functioning. * I always have my notebook and am usually writing/blogging never the less here I sit with him!

Mitchell and I went to everythingunderthesun-Mart yesterday and we did not get stares because of my *autistic sons’ meltdown! We were noticed for our savvy SJP hat style. Mitchell wore the ever popular and never out of style policeman hat with a pair of ladybug wings on his back and I wore a little straw hat with a band of bold pinks and blue stripes. WELL, I had to pick something fun; Mitchell already had on the ladybug wings! FUN and SASSY! That is me and my shadow! *Mitchell has meltdowns if he is over stimulated and busy stores just send him to the moon and the poor little guy can’t get back to earth for quite some time.

Keep On With The Keepin’ On! This is dedicated to Hillary Clinton! I refuse to give up; nor will my pick for the next President of the United States of America. GO HILLARY! I have kept my political views private until now. Hillary is clearly the candidate with the most experience in the political arena. She was the great woman standing behind Bill during our days of prosperity. Senator Clinton had the courage and strength to keep her family together during the scandal. Hillary Clinton has lead by example and has raised a beautiful free thinking daughter who contributes to our society in a proactive and dignified manner. I admire Mrs. Clinton’s tenacity and sheer will. Hillary Clinton has exhibited diplomacy and she has on her own made REAL LIFE CHANGE in our country. I will fight for Hillary and sing her praises through to the livin’ end of my days! I am not a woman of great means nor do I have much education but I am smart enough to know that Hillary would make an excellent Madame President. Hillary Clinton is the sensible choice and has proven herself to be a warrior and a champion of the people. It is my hope that our party will unify and that “The Dream Team Ticket” will be one of the most powerful entities on this planet. Thank you for reading my post and I encourage each and every one of you to express your opinion and thoughts.

They say children that have autism have parents that suffer from some sort of mental illness. I say that is a bunch of hooey! Anyways, I will talk you to guys later I have to give my 68 cats a bath. LOL! http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_64207.html http://autism.about.com/b/2008/05/05/autism-and-mental-illness-whats-the… http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=study-links-childs-autism

Karin, That was funny! Let this study go out with the “kitty litter.” Studies that show associations are not about cause and generally don’t hold much water for long. Have you heard about Bruno Bettelheim’s theory on autism in the 60’s? It rocked the hearts of many a mom who Bruno tagged as “the cause” of their children’s autism and now it has been totally disproven. Statistics say that 1 per 104 boys born in 2008 will be on the autistic spectrum. I am a registered nurse, mother of four (3 neuro-typical sons, one that is 11 with autism), and I have had the pleasure to meet a myriad of people that are traveling the same road as you and I raising autistic kids. These parents have all different backgrounds, education levels, life experiences, etc and I truly don’t see any of them as “looney tunes.” :) They are wonderful people struggling to do the best they can to raise children that are challenged with a neurological disorder that we still don’t completely understand but know is increasing in epidemic proportions. You are SO not alone! I applaud your commitment and dedication to Mitchell. I’m no stranger to the meltdowns and the need to “shadow” a child to keep them safe and functioning. I feel great compassion for what it may be like for you because not only do I live it but I see so many other parents quietly living a similar life with many of the same concerns and struggles. I love your sense of humor around the latest studies. That sense of humor must be one of your best gifts in managing all that you do!

Helix Health is hosting a must watch podcast on Breast and Ovarian Cancer at http://www.helixhealth.org/WebcastPressReleaseBandOcancer05.pdf They are also looking for interns. -Dana

Hey ladies….I have been on this site for weeks now and I have a huge PET PEEVE. I write all over this site and its nearly impossible to track if anyone even has responded to my comments. Is there a way that this could work like Facebook whereby you get an EMAIL that says you have a response to your thread for example re: “Who is She?” or “What do spirits mean?”….it would be a great way to keep the dialogue going and the threads vibrating for all of us who want to participate, but also have busy lives!!!!!

SAY WHAT YOU WILL. BUT I BELIEVE WHITE WOMEN HAVE BEEN INFLUENCING THE SEATS OF POWER FOR CENTURIES!!!! NO QUALMS HERE, BUT BARACK IS THE ONE NOW!!!!! WE’LL BE IN NO LESS CAPABELE HANDS AND MICHELE WILL ASSUREDLY BRING SOME SUBSTANTIAL GUIDANCE FROM THE SHE PERSUASION!

Please rember this is posted under CHANG THE WORLD. Is this site for or against the non - egghead types? To post or not to post; that is the question?! The community as whole is good. I tell myself that each and every time I post on account females can be most vicious … to walk amongst vipers takes great courage. This is another hard lesson in the series in the “hard knock life” syllabus. The question I propose to myself is: give up now an account it is painfully obvious that I am in way over my head on account I can’t spell well or compose a complete sentence (public school educated) or wait for the dead weight of all the so called poet/historian quoting eggheads to get off my back. When you go “trolling” for readers/posters/payment by click on middle/lower class blog spots the outcome is surly going to be less than acceptable to the current standards of communication accepted by most of the WOW contributors. Take heed; there is a slew of “can’t read or write” women up and coming. I am the tip of the iceberg. My point is; for the most part you are relevant and a major force in TO-DAYS’ female readership. What are you plans for tomorrows’ not so educated and dumbed down female American woman? I am one of many females that has been reduced to fast food style education. NO, we can’t spell, NO we can’t quote dead poets, NO we don’t use *finger bowls or know how to cleans our pallets after the fish. The bottom line is the cost of education is way over our heads. We were raised on third class morality and we are ever slipping into an uneducated abyss. I ask of thee; where do I and my younger sisters fit in? And for the record I am ready to take the heat for this post. To quote a phrase I was raised on “bring it on”. I could care less if you rip me limb for limb as long as one person hears my warning then I have done well. And if that one person makes real change and walks the walk as far as mentoring and putting their time where their money is then this post is worth a price above rubies. *my apologies Ms. Martin

Ooooh. No desire to rip you limb for limb Bbee Mine, but a few thoughts come to mind. Full disclosure first: I am a “younger sister” based on what I read the target audience of this site is. I was public school educated. When my parents were divorced many moons ago, my mother worked three jobs to feed us (no deadbeat Dad legislation back then) and we lived in a mobile home for 2 years that had a leaky roof when it rained. I fell asleep at night to rain drops tinging into a bucket if we had a storm. So I don’t come from affluent beginnings. I read a lot, worked my tush off in public school, and lived life thinking everyone had something to potentially teach me. I worked two jobs to put myself through college. My mother who was passed over for promotions every time due to her lack of a college education started community college at 40yrs old and worked her tush off until she got a Master’s degree and a job as a college English professor. She taught us to take our energies and direct them away from what we didn’t have and translate it into hard work and perseverance. I can also confess that I’ve never used a finger bowl or cleaned my palate with the possible exception of with my toothbrush during thorough morning brushing. As for fast food education, there are grants, financial aid and multiple programs to support women financially and in developing the skills necessary to become educated. My mother currently works in a Writing Skills Center aimed at that very goal. I volunteer time to the women around me that decided to go back to school and proofread their papers or assist them in whatever they might need. I do this happily because that’s how I believe we “sisters” can empower ourselves and get of the victim mentality. If a woman can’t read, there are literacy services. If a woman can’t write to a standard she would like to , there is assistance for that as well. There are even programs to assist with computer literacy for a nominal fee. Once one has secured that, they have access to a world (literally) of information to learn from. I find myself a bit confused at your whole premise as your post is articulated well and it would appear worth the rubies you were hoping for. As for the slip into the uneducated abyss…I really believe we can share this concern with one sister at a time and work to inspire one another to resist the dumbing down of our young women by working to support one another first and foremost with a mantra that we CAN do what we choose if we don’t sabotage our selves with a “stuck” vision based on how we were raised. Ouch…I just got hurt falling off my soapbox. Are your limbs o.k? :)