Another good deed is signing up with Kiva.org. They are the go between people who take your money and lean them to small business in countries all over the world.

First of all, Nikki, my heartfelt condolences on the death of your husband. I LOVE the idea of creating a ‘good deeds’ day. When I was sitting in horror watching 98/11 unfold, I knew I had to do something that would be a source of comfort to people. Since I am a designer and fiber artist, I focused on creating a very simple little design for a crocheted comfort bear. I posted the instructions for the Comfort Bear online, (it was the front page of the Craft Yarn Council of America website for 18 months and is now on my blog) and asked people to make them to give to other people who were in need of comfort. Over the years, I have received many many letters from people who have made heaps of these tiny pocket sized Comfie bears. Lots of police, EMT and nurses, as well as teachers and social workers responded and have been making them and giving them to people in crisis. Small things DO make a difference! Blessings and thank you! Noreen Crone-Findlay

Stop kicking yourself over this one Fran. It’s his loss. If he can’t respect you for your opinion then he really wasn’t a friend to begin with. You’re upset for the way you exploded. Next time don’t get so mad.

Fran, thank goodness age has its privileges, but … Eventually, each of us has such moments, and I, for one, remember one glaring event that I’d love to believe was a nightmare, but it wasn’t. Part of my reaction was deliberate, in fact, and it had the desired outcome save for, like yourself, distancing someone from me. I know better, though, and realize when something or someone grabs me in the gut, there is something about myself in their message that I don’t like - ME. Over the years - I have a few on you - I’ve learned to sit tight, and keep my big mouth shut (believe it or not!). Than being said, I met some wondrous women the other day, randomly, and never expected to find them “out here…” but each random, unplanned meeting (out in public running errands) led us into conversation, some with others, that bolstered my self-image. Many of “us” experience such sad times, but in the long run we’ve kept our mouths shut far too long. In my own case, I now know exactly from whence I came … and I shall not return. Chin up, sister, it’s over and done with, let go, and see what happens. My hunch is that suddenly things will mellow out as if there was never a rife, and things will go on as before…but it takes time. There’s more than yourself in that equation, in fact too many unknowns to be able to estimate the outcome. In the meantime, think about your reaction…for yourself, not any one else. Hugs.

I’ve got 6 years on you, and I’d have done the same thing. I think the longer we live, the harder it is to keep our mouths politely shut, when we hear pure evil out of people’s mouths (and I don’t mean in a religious sense). You have to be true to yourself. If you can live with knowing he’s a racist, then make peace. If you can’t, make better friends out of people who are worth it.

No point crying over spilt milk. A tongue is a two-edged sword much like a pen - handle with GREAT care. Life is too short DO please reach out & SAY SORRY! FORGIVE as you can’t seem to forget.

This is what Obama meant when he said “we all have someone that makes us cringe”. When I was 19 I had an uncle that came to visit from SC. He behaved the same way. I finally told him if he was going to stay with me he would have to refrain. He left and didn’t speak to me again for the rest of his life. Sometimes you just have to stand up for what is right. You didn’t loose them, they lost you. Shame on them.

Ms Gillard_-“Was I wrong to explode like that?” Why would you even ask that question —you were standing up for what you believed and for racial equality no racism. I applaud you for doing so.