Kudos AC. I agree about psycho-analysis. Far too many pscychs are out ‘there’ doing nothing for mental health, in fact the term has become one of this century’s oxymorons. I am so relieved for you. You should be feel liberated, indeed, proud of your courage, too - “You’ve come long way, baby!” I had to go through years of same due to repressed, horrific child abuse—the memories began eeking out right after my first mastectomy — guess why! I ran, didn’t walk, to the best expert I could find, but had to interview about 9 first, swollen with chemo, and PTSD to boot. Few people on earth realize the courage survivors have just to live life, day to day, after loss, abandonment, torture, and/or despair. I know of one woman who learned about the reason for a life of depression on her deathbed - in a hospice - she was abuse by her father. Thank goodness my shocking memories arose (as horrific as they were) before my last days on earth. It’s worth everything to jump in with both feet, after finding the best expert to help us on such journeys. I’m so happy for you. My journey has been amazing - no more internal tugs when I remember anything - no more pain, just knowledge that “they happened…” Prior to that once the memories eeked out, they were experienced with the full force of the pain received at the time, as a little child. I well-remember hearing rain for the “first” time, one day in Austin. Calling my analyst, in utter amazement, he kindly said, “Welcome to life - we’re on the way!” Indeed, we have arrived!

TTThis oThis does This doesn’t belong in this spot, but may I suggest that Yale (or Harvard) buy the buy the Edith Wharton house (The Mount) in order to rescue it and turn it into it. They can turn it into research center for visiting scholars. They have billions in end endowment, so it should be easy for them to come up with the bubucks. We can’t the bucks. We can’t let The Mount fold. It would be an “American TrageyTragedy.” Tragedy.” ROBERT STEWART

YYYou women of Listen here, WOWOW:YOU NEED TO START AN ONLINE BOOK CLUB FOR SERIOUS SERIOUS READERS. ROBERT STEWART/AUTHOR AND EDITOR/Jean Harris’ Editor Editor, among many others, like George Shultz etc. etc. Eer

Annie, were you with DODS? If so, please let me know. There’s a cadre of supportive women who are retired from DODS who were teachers, etc. It may be a great resource for you—also write to any of your colleagues from those years, to reconnect, and see where they are now. In the LA area, from my experience hearing from others, temp. work is often the entre to a great opportunity. A VP at Sony made her entre just that way - “Look at her now!” Hopefully, serving coffee is out of date, in LA, too. Another suggestion is to contact the “best-rated” employers of women (there’s lists on the Internet - just Google it), in the LA area, and phone Human Resources, requesting an appointment for a resource-interview only - in other words, you’re “new to the area” and want to make some contacts before you begin your search. You will make some appointments, and be able to learn from the people you meet. Always listen and take notes, but before you leave, not pressing anyone for a job, once you’ve briefly outlined your goals, ask for a suggestion on what other employers you should contact…then ask that person if they’d make a referral for you. Be sure to contact the universities, local women’s center and the YWCA; the local employment office may offer referrals, and testing, too. In re your daughter, that’s tragic and must be very hard for you. Remember, neuro-science is advancing rapidly. You have my sincere empathy, and I hope you stay strong, yourself. I nearly lost a daughter when she was 16 to an AVM (brain), and it took months to save her life (in the 80s), and years off of mine. But, keep in mind, at 55 you are just beginning to live. The world’s your oyster. You’ll be just fine - count on it.

Oh, Annie, I am so sorry about your daughter’s accident. Not fun! My son, Mark, was also in an accident in 1973. Hit by a drunk driver. Mark has a traumatic brain injury (TBI), so I understand what you are going through. Advice: ???? But think you are right, LA is a tough place to try to handle this. Smaller places can be better. California has a system of Centers for Independent Living — there are several, I believe, in the LA area if you decide to stay there. The disability community can be a great resource for support and help. Check out Centers For Independent Living in whatever area you settle. Sorry about your marriage. That must have been a shock. Hope your ex is at least providing some financial support. In TBI circles, a high percentage of marriages and families break up. These major disability problems are a tough thing to handle. California also has an In Home Support Program (IHSS). If your daughter is home with you, you’ll be able to get money to hire someone to come in while you work or take care of her yourself using the money. Pay in our area is $11.30/hour. Not great, but often gives you a lot a ‘study the navel time” You can find out about the IHSS program by contacting your Adult Social Service Department in your county. It’s been a blessing for us. I tried working for 8 years after Mark was hurt. There are almost no affordable, decent places for people in my son’s situation and it was always one problem or another. After cracking up just about every year, I finally sat myself down and told myself, “You don’t need a career, you just need money. I quit my job and came home to care for Mark taking in part-time jobs at home. With a few major bumps (the pay was something like $4.25/hour at that time), it’s worked out pretty well for us. Not to say it isn’t hard and maybe even scary in the early days, you’ll be amazed at how much you’ll learn about yourself and life as you find the GREAT need to drop most of your assumptions about the world and reorganize and shift just about everything. In a way, it’s fun. Other ways not fun at all. GOOD LUCK. You can do it and by all means, seek out the disability community. Their a feisty bunch and have done a lot to make your and our situation better. Good friends, too. And, for heavens sake, forget about how old you are. In my view, the 50’s is one of the greatest times of life, especially for women. My daughter is there now and she is BLOSSOMING. Great to see. My son and I are still chugging away at dealing with our new life, but making gains over and over.

Ann, try CalWorks. It is a state program that helps develop and find jobs for every education level and experience level. It is tough to get noticed on the web. It isn’t the best place to look. for every job posting there are several hundred thousand resumes submitted. Also make sure that you find a good educational advocate who can ensure that your child gets the free and appropriate public education (FAPE ) that she is entitled to by federal and state law. She can have a great life. All over universities in California you see paraplegics and quadriplegics getting their degrees, working and having hopeful and good lives. Don’t despair, there is help. Just start looking for all the resources for what you need.