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Conversation | 02/02/2008 1:09 pm

Age, Sex and the Sometimes Single Girl

© Shutterstock

 

EDITOR’S NOTE: Also featuring special guest, Joni Evans, CEO of wowOwow. The following conversation took place on Feb. 2.

 

JOAN: This is February 2nd, 2008. Saturday. We are sitting in the space ship of Mary Wells, hovering over NYC. It is Liz Smith’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Liz. How old are you?


LIZ: I am only 85 years old, and I don’t believe it myself.

JONI: I am 65 years old and I wish I looked like Liz Smith.

MARY: I don’t believe in birthdays because I think your mind controls your body and if you think you’re getting old, you will. But if I have to get older, one thing I certainly am sure of is that I’d like to look like Liz Smith.

JOAN: I am 59 years old and I keep thinking I’m 60 because it seems so much more convenient.

LIZ: It isn’t though, I’m telling you. It was much more fun to be 79. I was still like I was 28. As soon as I turned 80, it changed. I had this big party given for me at Le Cirque — it was all of my good friends who spent thousands of dollars on it and they invited every important person in the world to it. When that was over I said, “Jeez, I’m 80! What am I going to do now?” I’ve never been the same since.

JOAN: What did you do? What was that 80th year like?

LIZ: I felt different after it. I was astounded because I’ve never paid any attention to my age. I’ve always felt I was 28 years old inside, and I’m clinging to that.

JONI: Have you had a lot of sex since you’ve been 80?

LIZ: What an impertinent question. No, I haven’t had a lot, Joni, because you’ve got the only guy I want. No. Actually I have had a little bit. I can’t deny it. I have had a little bit of sex…with people who don’t know how old I am. When I wrote my memoir, Natural Blonde – Joni was the instigator and agent — I had a story in it about how one night I went to the end of my driveway to wait for a car. I was going to have dinner with Barbara Walters and she was sending her car and I was standing there all made up and it was dusk. And a guy came up to me and said, “Do you know where the El Rio Grande restaurant is?” I said, “Yes, it’s right here in this building. If you go right in there, that’s it.” And he was cute — about 40, 42 years old. So he went away and in a minute he came back, saying: “Would you think I was really forward if I … would you like to come in and have a drink with me?” And I thought, “This guy can’t really see me in the dusk. He thinks I’m some blonde tart standing out here.” After all, I was all tarted up. So I thought, “what would happen if I went in there with him?” But then he perceived that I was not actually all that young. Oh, well…it was a great story, anyway. It cheered me up tremendously.

JOAN: Have you ever had the younger man thing?

JONI: Now I do. Wish I knew that before. Having a younger man is so much better. But I’m interested in the myth that sex goes away. I know there are certain things that aren’t quite the same. But most of my friends over 50 are having the best sex they ever had because they are over 50, or over 60, or over 70. Does everybody know it gets better? It may not be as juicy, forgive me. But it gets better and more real. Why don’t people talk about that?

LIZ: I think women are reluctant to appear to be bragging — or they are compensating for something they think everybody else believes in, which is that sex is always better when you are young.

Read more about: Sex

64 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Candelaria Silva
For me sexual desire and attractiveness ebbs and flows. There were times in my twenties and thirties when I wasn’t getting any action, and there are times now that, even though happily married, I still attract offers from men in a range of ages. Living vibrantly attracts people to you no matter what your age and, beleive it or not, there are men who don’t see age as a barrier (or size). If you feel bad about an age you’re not, a size you’re not - you communicate that. I’ve been the pretty younger woman and the lovely older woman. Older is better.
By Candelaria Silva on 03/12/2008 8:14 am
Ann Hamm
On Good Morning America today, 3-12-08, Mary stated she wishes she had not sold her company to take of her sick husband. I’m in a similular situation. My husband has Parkinson’s. I’m a registered nurse/massage therapist trying to learn his business, as well as maintain my own. I’m overwhelmed. HELP! This is something I want to do, more as a challenge than anything else. Fear, while not an option, is REAL. Ann Hamm
By Ann Hamm on 03/12/2008 8:55 am
PJ Ebert
Yes! yes!yes! Thank You I also seen you on GMA Its very nice to have someone to communicate with about things that have been buried in me for over 6 yrs: I just feel no one person would agree with what I have too say, or even think, its been along time for me to even open up an say it or think it out loud whats been going through my mind and body, just to put it in print would be a big help thank you!! again. Just to have an chance to release this one thought is nice, I know I have not wrote one word about my life, its just a great lift off my should to see I’m not alone, thanks again
By PJ Ebert on 03/12/2008 9:10 am
Carla Kron
You know, I’ve noticed a trend in the media. Whenever any celebrity or someone makes the news they get labeled as having bipolar disorder. I have that disorder, and believe me, the stigma is strong against people who have it (especially in the health care field…don’t know why that is). The implication in all these news stories is that that person will hurt other people, physically as well as emotionally. The truth is that person is far more likely to hurt themselves. I wish that there were more true information out there, that the news would do some stories on bipolar disorder as it truly is. They helped turn around the concept of depression, which is now an accepted disease, why can’t they do that for us? Just venting, Carla
By Carla Kron on 03/12/2008 9:15 am
Marty Williams
Ann, Always keep your licenses current after all there may come a time when this phase comes to an end. I played for church over twenty years, retired to care for my mother and that responsibility ended. I am divorced, my son has his own family and was basically lost. Several months ago I was ask to fill in and it has been so fulfilling and now I am playing part-time. Good luck! I too was looking at GMA - I am glad to have an avenue to read and talk with others.
By Marty Williams on 03/12/2008 9:23 am
Melissa Morris
Wooo-Hooo!! Sex for the rest of my life!! I’ll be looking forward to each and every passing year even more now!
By Melissa Morris on 03/12/2008 9:41 am
E  Johnson
Ginger - Yes, the best years are ahead. However, “mom” is a lifetime commitment. You’re probably a good one and should take pride in that. The trick to all of this is to never let go of who you really are. The real you. Hold on to that and it will automatically incorporate itself into every aspect of your life, making it all even more worthwhile. If people (even men) like what they see, that’s just a bonus! Candelaria - I agree with your “ebb & flow” observation. “Living vibrantly” really does transcend all barriers.
By E Johnson on 03/12/2008 10:00 am
Renee Dunbar-Scott
I agree with Roberta. I spent the last 10 years taking care of my husband who recently lost his battle and peacfully passed on. The first month was hard and it still is, but I’m not going to miss this chance to live my life to the fullest.
By Renee Dunbar-Scott on 03/12/2008 10:13 am
theCHEROKEErose
wow…im 60 (still havent wrapped my mind around that one, BECAUSE in my head, im still 18)…have been with the guy i married way back in 1981 for almost 30, yes, count them, 30 years…(some kind of record)…thought about just packing it in a couple of times when i was outrageously mad at him…but life goes on…just gets more and more interesting the longer it lasts…..
By theCHEROKEErose on 03/12/2008 10:16 am
theCHEROKEErose
PS…forgot to say HAPPY B’DAY, LIZYOURE GREAT
By theCHEROKEErose on 03/12/2008 10:18 am
KattinColorado
My husband is 9 years younger than I, and I am 53. Sex only gets better wtth age, IMO. Due to the fact, that we are, as women, so beyond the body conscienceness, we just want to enjoy, and immerse!!
By KattinColorado on 03/12/2008 10:26 am
Beyonce Welch
I am a 60 year old mixed race women from Chicago. I have been divorced for a little more than 20 years and since that time I have lived a totally lesbian lifestyle. In fact my then bisexuality caused the end of my marriage.I am 60, look 40, act 20.I am a terrble flirt with a raunchy sense of humor and very femmy.I would not change a thing in my life.
By Beyonce Welch on 03/12/2008 11:13 am
Jessica Heimark
Being only 21, and just getting dumped from the relationship, it’s good to see that being alone, being independent, being SEXY whenever, is OKAY! :-) I have life to look forward to, even if I don’t feel that way right now.
By Jessica Heimark on 03/12/2008 11:17 am
Charlotte OHare
I haven’t had many WOW experiences in the past. The men who bragged the loudest, usually had the least amount of experience. That doesn’t make me want to sleep with women; I do hope someday to find a man with whom I am compatible. I don’t long for sex, though, because I never had enough great experiences to make me long for it. The one time I had a good physical connection with a guy, he was bossy and tried to impose his desires on me. We also were not compatible in life experience. I’d rather wait to find the life, as well as the physical, connection with a guy. If it never happens, I’d rather not try to fake it with someone just to ‘get some’. I would just end up depressed and feeling worse.
By Charlotte OHare on 03/12/2008 12:52 pm
Pattie Anderson
Wow. I saw GMA this morning and KUDOS to this GREAT site and thanks to GMA to telling those of us who didn’t know it was here! I just turned 63, separated from my husband of 29 years (long LONG overdue) and seeing a man 23 years my junior. My marriage was celibate for 8 years, and I have rediscovered life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness which not least includes the BEST sex I have ever had in my life. Thank you thank you thank you for being here, for sharing your stories, for letting us and those coming behind us that there is life after 40 or 50 or 60 or ~ WHATEVER!!! The sky is the limit. I feel alive, vibrant, excited with life. Statistically 63, look 40 something, feel 25!!!!!
By Pattie Anderson on 03/12/2008 12:57 pm