Conversation | 04/09/2008 12:00 am
What Happens to Us After We Die?

JONI: We only have a human vision, and it is such a limited vision. A universal vision is so much more intelligent, so much more vast. But I won’t be able to prove this on this phone conversation.
LILY: What’s the whole plan … if this is so, what’s the plan of this? Why put us on this earth in the first place?
SHEILA: We’re wasting our time here if we have eternity.
JONI: We’re never wasting our time and we do have eternity and we’re here to learn. These are lessons we were meant to learn. We’ll do another seminar on this. I just had to get in that, don’t worry, we live forever.
JULIA: But Joni, the only thing I’m absolutely sure of that’s going to happen when I die is that, if I die below the Mason-Dixon line, then whoever’s left of my friends and relatives are going to be inundated with casseroles. That’s the only thing I’m … I have faith in the other stuff, I know that.
JONI: Oh, Julia, I’m glad.
LILY: Well, let me just throw out, as a kid in the Baptist church, I was extremely worried because of my father. My mother went to church and my brother and the three of us would go with my dad, who was a big gambler and a drinker and a street guy. He never went to church and I would – every Sunday morning from the time I was maybe six or seven, until I was ten – I would sit on the kitchen table, while he’d drink beer and eat sardines. And I’d beg him to go to church because I was so worried that the end of the world would come before the Sunday – next Sunday – and we’d lose the chance to save my father.
And I’d say to my Sunday school teacher, “Well, what if my dad doesn’t go to heaven? What will I do?” She’d say, “When you’re in heaven you’ll have everything you need to be happy.” So then as time passed on and I got famous and Ernestine, the telephone operator, was so famous and people loved her so much, I used to think, “Well, even if I’m an old backslider, you know, as a Baptist, there’ll be somebody up in heaven who will be sitting around and thinking, ‘Well, let’s get that girl up here that used to do that telephone operator.’”
SHEILA: Well, but maybe, Lily, Ernestine will go to heaven and she’ll invite you.
LILY: Well that’s what I’m saying. I’m saying, if I had several personae with which to reach the destination.
JONI: May I invite you all to ask our own Peggy Rometo, on the site, about your future?
LILY: We’d love to.
JONI: Because she is the most amazing intuitive I’ve ever met.
SHEILA: Is she connected to this Rosemary person?
JONI: No, they’re not connected.
SHEILA: Do they see the same people that are out there? Or are they two different people?
JONI: I don’t know. I don’t know.
LILY: Can I just ask you, did Simon & Schuster ever publish either one of them?
JONI: Yes, not Simon & Schuster, but other publishers. Julia seems enlightened here and I’m hoping you’ll all open your eyes to this possibility.
JULIA: Don’t worry, I’m not going to start –
LILY: No, Julia’s not enlightened. She just accepted this all from her childhood, and it’s just gone on –
JULIA: That is not true!
LILY: She even goes to church today. Wait, have you ever gone to a Presbyterian church service?
JONI: Who are you asking?
LILY: It could not be more boring.
JULIA: That’s not true. We have a very cool minister. He’s really good looking and –
LILY: But you don’t have a preacher, Julia. You’ve got to have a preacher.
JULIA: We have a minister.
LILY: You just have a civilized person who talks in a calm voice.
JULIA: No, I don’t. We don’t have a lot of tongues and movement and –
LILY: Yeah, I like the trumpets and saxophones and tambourines and I like to go the whole … if you’re going to have to go to church on Sunday, it should really be fun.
SHEILA: Well, it depends on your idea of fun.
JONI: Well, this is a very unruly group.
LILY: I’ll probably get there first and welcome all of you. But there could be some kind of border issue up there.
JULIA: If Lou Dobbs gets there before you do, he’s going to make a border issue.























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