Sign in to wowOwow

Enter the email address that you used when registering at wowOwow.
The password field is case sensitive. Click here if you have forgotten your password.

Please register for wowOwow

Newsletter subscriptions
Sign up to receive wowOwow's weekly newsletter and get our best picks delivered right to your inbox. Our newsletter content is hand-picked by the wowOwow editorial team and provides the top features, news, and commentary from our site. Subscribing to our newsletter is free and safe. We will never share your email or other information with a third-party without your direct consent.
By registering, you indicate that you have read and agree
with our privacy policy and terms of service.

Conversation | 03/12/2008 4:17 pm

Whoopi Goldberg to Dr. Laura: Are You Crazy? Don't Blame Eliot Spitzer's Wife

Governor Eliot Spitzer and his wife, Silda.
AP

The following conversation between Liz Smith and Whoopi Goldberg took place on March 12, 2008.

WHOOPI: I’m listening to people blame Eliot Spitzer’s wife. Dr. Laura Schlessinger intimates that it was maybe something lacking in his wife that would cause him to go do this. And I’m thinking, “Are you crazy?”

LIZ: She doesn’t say maybe. She says:“I do not know anything about their personal lives.” And then she says, “The point is, what she’s done is wrong.”

WHOOPI: Yes.

LIZ: Her quote is: “If a woman doesn’t make herself sexually perfect for the husband then she drives him away. And, poor thing, he has to go use prostitutes for $80,000.”

WHOOPI: So this is something the wife is not doing.

LIZ: She says that both spouses share the blame. Well there are plenty of people on [wowOwow.com] saying she’s full of it, including you and me.

WHOOPI: Yeah. I mean, it makes no sense.

LIZ: So Ann Curry, Dina Matos and Meredith Vieira, they all said, “But you’re saying the woman should feel guilty that they drove their husband to cheat?” And, I’ve read this story today, Whoopi, in the Daily News, a story about Mrs. Spitzer and she doesn’t sound like any body’s fool exactly. They say, “She doesn’t want to look at him. And if he doesn’t want to bear the look that she gives when she does look at him, they go to separate rooms.”

WHOOPI: This is much bigger deal because it’s him – specifically because it’s Eliot Spitzer. He’s not well liked. He’s not a liked person. He brought it on himself. You cannot prosecute prostitution rings and then think that no one is going to bust you if you’re participating.

LIZ: Well, it’s just the total hypocrisy of it is so shocking. He’s always been the white knight.

WHOOPI: Well that’s what he told everybody.

LIZ: He acted that way, too. He was sending them to jail for doing just what he did.

WHOOPI: And that is why a lot of this is going down the way that it is.

LIZ: Well, don’t you think, Whoopi, that it’s unfortunate that any woman should get it in her mind that it’s entirely up to her to keep her husband from cheating?

WHOOPI: I think it’s outrageous. It’s like saying you have to think about what you wear because it might be the blame for somebody raping you. It’s the same thing.

LIZ: Exactly. As if she was asking for it.

WHOOPI: I don’t understand how a halfway intelligent woman, like I think Laura Schlessinger is, she has to be halfway intelligent.

LIZ: Oh, she’s very intelligent, you know.

WHOOPI: Unless she’s just being provocative. In which case, since you don’t know what their relationship is, keep your provocative bullshit to yourself.

LIZ: Right. If Silda wanted to stay with him after all of this, I guess that’s her business. But, for her to accept the blame … We had one person write in yesterday to the wOw website saying that when he got up to apologize, she shouldn’t have stood with him. She should have gone and sat in the first row to see whether she would accept his apology.

WHOOPI: I like that.

LIZ: Women are always getting blamed for things. I’m certainly not a very good feminist myself, but, I see this ridiculous sexism everywhere I go.

WHOOPI: We allow certain things to go on, as women.

LIZ: That’s true.

WHOOPI: Why is no one is saying: ‘Hey, listen. You need to stop putting this on the hookers?’ Or, ‘Stop putting it on this person or that person. You need to put it on the man whose fault it is?’

LIZ: Exactly.

WHOOPI: This could not have happened without his sanction, you know. It would not have happened …

LIZ: That’s right. Remember the song “Girls Just Want to Have Fun?”

WHOOPI: Yes.

LIZ: Well, some men just want to have prostitutes. And they’re always going to do that because that’s what they want.

WHOOPI: Hey, I’m OK with men that … I’m a believer that we should legalize it.

LIZ: I agree. But the two things are different.

WHOOPI: Yes. But you have to explain to people that No. 1, we as women have to get over how we feel about prostitution because it’s not anything against us as women. Do you know what I mean? If your man goes to a prostitute it’s not because he doesn’t love you. It’s not because he doesn’t care for you or your family. I believe that is a safe way, in a man’s mind, to go get his rocks off. Now if he’s not honest enough to say to his wife, “Listen, this is what I’m doing,” because he knows if she says, “Well you can’t do that and be with me,” and she’s going to leave him.

LIZ: She could either cooperate with it or put up with it or not. And then she has an option. She isn’t just being humiliated.

WHOOPI: I listened to folks talk today about prostitutes, period. And trying to explain to people that they’re not the place to put your ire. That’s not the place to be pissed off at. The place to be pissed of at is the man who is going behind your back or your friends back and doing this and doesn’t have the balls to say, “Listen. I’m having something outside of our marriage. So here’s what you need to do. I’ve got myself checked. You need to get yourself checked.” That’s the angry part to me.

LIZ: Also, I think, if we’re realistic we know there always is going to be prostitution.

WHOOPI: Oh, God, yes. It’s the world’s oldest profession.

209 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Becky R
I am sick and tired of so many people blaming the wife in these situations. I truly believe that men will cheat (or women) if it is in their character to do so, no matter what is going on at home (or not). I don’t know if I could stand beside my man in public like some of these wives have bravely done. This just shows again that these women are the stronger of the two. And Whoopie……I love you on The View and really like how you speak your mind and tell it like it is. You also bring a great humor to the show that was really needed. You truly are THE BEST OF THE BEST!
By Becky R on 03/13/2008 9:08 am
Patty A.
We’ve got to quit making men look so weak. Men are just like anyone else…they have a CHOICE and he could have chosen not to do what he did. Ashley Alexandra Dupre’ was already a working girl before she met him. She didn’t call him up for sex, he called the agency and requested her. It’s his fault, not the prostitute’s fault, and not the wife’s fault. We need to start holding men to a higher standard instead of letting them off the hook on the excuse that when a woman enters the room a man is ruled by his penis and not his brain. The audacity of him doing what he did while valiantly and relentlessly prosecuting others for the same thing tells me this is a very twisted man.
By Patty A. on 03/13/2008 9:12 am
Eleanor George
Obviously, he was working with the wrong head. I especially feel bad for his girls. His wife probably isn’t too surprised but she still will feel the pain. Dr. Schlessinger is just another shrink who obviously talks before she thinks, probably knew this comment would get her attention.
By Eleanor George on 03/13/2008 9:14 am
Susan Cuthbertson
I get tired of the blame being placed on the wives. If a man is going to “stray” he will no matter what his wife does or how she acts. As for the unprotected sex, in this day when we are aware of all the STDs, it is totally inexcusable for him to bring this home to his wife. I feel like his greatest problem, infidelity aside, is now owning up to his actions and secondly expecting his wife to stand by him in the endless news conferences. She and the children need to take a vacation away from everyone and he needs to learn the meaning of responsibility. A whole lot of counseling is called for whether or not they remain a couple. As for Dr. Laura, there are a whole lot of stereotypes that she seems me that she is buying into on both this and other subjects, when she should be more objective.
By Susan Cuthbertson on 03/13/2008 9:21 am
Kim Mornati
WTF, I am pissed that women stand by their disgraceful men. Why, is it for spin for them, why should it be a womens place to stand quitely by??? Let’s make it simple, first, he avocated to rid prostitution, then he uses the services of “Escort Service” What is he going to say next, “he was doing research’? Please and then to blame Silda’s??? What is going on in the world. AS IF Dr. Laura was on some kind of moral high ground. She is media hog, wanting some undeserved limelight at Silda expensive. Dr. Laura, how do you sleep at night. You should be an advocate for women, not JOHNS. If we are all strong together, women would not be treated this way by anyone. When did it become popular to toss someone in front of the bus for free advertising. Shameful!!! What is wrong is how women feel so “less then men” Ugh, it just burns me, pull up your boot straps and be honest and it was wrong, but to blame her for it is insane. And it it’s not our call to determine if she should stay or leave. Hillary stayed, why, I couldn’t say, but if it to sit in the oval office of the white house, i would have stayed too… I hope Silda aspires beyond the greatness of Hillary, if she want to. She deserves more than Elliot but it’s her choice!
By Kim Mornati on 03/13/2008 9:22 am
Donna W.
I found it interesting and somewhat satisfying that what Spitzer used to do to the prostitutes, have them arrested, shame them by parading them in front of the media, is now the posistion he finds himself in. Shall we say what goes around comes around…or maybe you reap what you sow? In any case he is getting what he deserves, for the deceptions and what he has done to his family. What HE did, not what his wife caused him to do !
By Donna W. on 03/13/2008 9:23 am
Julie B
I just can’t wrap my mind around what Dr. Laura said. Would she be blaming Mrs. Spitzer if this were a case of spousal physical abuse? Should she take the blame for a black eye? How can anyone blame the wife for this idiot’s actions? I guess some people think that women should offer their bodies to their husband for sexual gratification even if there is no longer a physical attraction or God forbid a medical reason behind the lack of desire to be intimate with her spouse. Tsk Tsk Dr. Laura.
By Julie B on 03/13/2008 9:24 am
Pat From Wisconsin
Silda may have known all along that her husband was in to Pros. Maybe, she stands up there because she made a deal with her hubby ….. I’ll stand up there but you will pay me more than your Pros! Shame on anyone who will judge her……walk a mile in her shoes………
By Pat From Wisconsin on 03/13/2008 9:33 am
Kim Smith
This is the type of thing that my southern Grandma used to say; “Oh Honey, men have needs and if the wife won’t satisfy them, they should expect them to stray.” I find it as ridiculous coming from Dr. Laura as I do from Grandma! Sure, there are reasons that people stray and it takes two to make a marriage healthy and happy, but to blame the wife for making her husband turn to prostitution to the tune of $80 grand is absurd. It seems to be the norm to blame others for our actions. The alcohol industry is at fault for making me drink. The casinos should be sued for making me gamble. The tobacco industry should take the blame for me picking up that cigarette. The wife should take the blame for the husband playing with hookers. What ever happened to self control and personal accountability?!
By Kim Smith on 03/13/2008 9:58 am
Charles Dance
maybe he is not a good lover and his wife can no longer tolerate his incompetence in bed and she doesn’t care what he does as long as it does’t involve her.
By Charles Dance on 03/13/2008 10:08 am
Iliana  Kahn
I’m so sick of Men and Sex . Is it really the only thing on their mind 24/7 ???
By Iliana Kahn on 03/13/2008 10:08 am
Linn Madsen
I have thought - for many years - that Dr. Laura needs an intervention - badly. It’s almost like a hostage situation with her. Dr. Laura - please evolve.
By Linn Madsen on 03/13/2008 10:10 am
Linn Madsen
I don’t understand how a halfway intelligent woman, like I think Laura Schlessinger is, she has to be halfway intelligent.” (Whoopi) So this means she is also half-way ignorant, I assume, and agree. Though, I’m not too certain of the equation. Maybe more 30-70. 20-80?
By Linn Madsen on 03/13/2008 10:14 am
Rita T
Dr. Laura is an idiot! End of story! As the former wife of a serial cheater, it took me years to realize that his adultery had little to do with me and more to do with his own insecurities and low self-esteem. His cheating was only one of many things wrong with our marriage and I would bet that the same is true of the Spitzer’s. And Dr. Laura just needs to shut the f*** up!
By Rita T on 03/13/2008 10:19 am
Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye
Dr.” Laura had affairs while married and posed for tawdry nude photos with her amigo that are all over the Internet. Anyone can find then on google images using search “Dr. Laura nude photos.” One would think that would make a person a bit less hypocritical…apparently not.
By Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye on 03/26/2008 2:30 am