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Conversation | 04/07/2008 8:54 pm

Growing Up, I Was Bored 'Quite Often' ... Today, Nobody Is Bored

© Shutterstock

EDITOR’S NOTE: Also featuring special guest, Joni Evans, CEO of wowOwow.

JONI: Let’s talk about the way kids grow up today versus the way we grew up.

MARY: I was an only child and I didn’t have cousins and our world was local; it was a neighborhood world. Today, so many of the young people – and that means from really young, up through the 20s and 30s, have friendships with people on screen. These are friendships that they enjoy and seem to get great satisfaction from. But they’re with people that they have never actually touched or met physically. They have relationships through screens. And they live such a screen life. They emulate the people they see on the screen. They’re stimulated and directed, and admire people on screen. And they’re amused and entertained by people on screen. And the screens can be very big ones or they can be tiny ones, iPods. They can be almost anything. But their lives are very screen driven.

LIZ: I remember when I was a child, being bored quite often. And now nobody is bored. Nobody lets themselves be bored. My father would say, “Come on you children, want to go with me?” And we’d say, “Where are you going, Daddy?” And he’d say, “Gotta take a chance and get in the car.” He’d be backing the car out and we’re afraid not to go because it was when we didn’t go that he took the others to the park and rented ponies for them and wonderful things happened. And it seemed to me, the days I went, he would always go to see Mr. So-and-so about cotton futures and I’d be sitting in the car with nothing. So I remember enduring that. But I don’t think kids endure anything anymore. They have instant gratification, instant games.

MARY: So much of life today is a game. There are games that the children play. There are games that men and women play on consoles, there are alternative-reality games. There are games on television, which everybody watches. There are games that have in them the prospect of 15 minutes of fame. And all those games and all those screens – are they changing people?

LIZ: Is it something missing from their lives?

MARY: It may not be. It may be wonderful. It may be an aspect of evolution.

LIZ: The women I’ve observed with children or grandchildren – they spend all their time trying to get those kids to go out and play sports and to get them to read. And they are tremendously distracted by all this mechanical entertainment.

LESLEY: But don’t you think that this business about getting kids to read is not new? Ever since television has come into our lives … My point on the reading is that it goes back a couple of generations. And I just wonder about these kids today, if their brains aren’t wired completely differently from ours. We grew up reading and learning through our eyes. And these kids do learn differently. They learn visually and aurally. They learn from two different ways at the same time. I bet if somebody did some brain mapping, they would see that they absorb information differently. They’ve evolved.

MARY: They get different ideas, too. I mean, they know there’s a world. They don’t think that their neighborhood is the world. And they also know, by watching television or by watching the computer screen, that if they really want to know something about a rosebud, they can go find out about the rosebud. I mean, they know that the world is very complex, that it’s very big and it’s got a lot going on and there’s a tremendous amount to think about and to do something about or to care about. We weren’t programmed to think that way because there was nothing stimulating us to do that. It’s probably part of evolution.

LESLEY: It is. I agree. But they, of course, aren’t having the human contact that we did. And we don’t know how that’s going to affect the next generation.

JONI: Ray Kurzweil.

MARY: Ray Kurzweil. If you read Ray’s book, eventually you will be whatever you want to be, and not necessarily human. But you will be fully alive.

LESLEY: You know, many years ago I did a program when I was on Face the Nation. It was science fiction that could come true – that really could come true. And the idea was that in a couple of hundred years we would be computers, with a little tiny dot of our DNA. We’d be completely mechanical. We wouldn’t have arms. We wouldn’t have legs. We might not even need hearts.

MARY: Now you’ve got nanotechnology coming – in Ray Kurzweil’s book, The Singularity Is Near.

LESLEY: You know, if they can come up with a better hand than our hand, right? Then one day our hands will atrophy. You could see it. You could see that we would go there. We won’t have to exercise.

JONI: We won’t have to die.

LESLEY: We won’t have to die, right. But what will we be?

LIZ: Last week, in The New York Times, there was a story about a future world where people are part robot and part human and there’s a woman who is trying to have herself reconfigured into a 12-year-old because her husband is a pedophile. It’s incredible.

LESLEY: Oh, my word.

Read more about: Kids, Parenting, Technology

110 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

MARKKLEINMD
Just got back from seeing my grandchildren in Israel . Without a television or internet access they actually do things like play with their friends creating games they cooked up rather than something manufactured for them to peddle something. They might not be so blessed had their mother been exposed to t.v. as a child. (She grew up in the pre-internet age.)
By MARKKLEINMD on 04/07/2008 12:01 pm
JeannotKensinger
Bored as a kid? Yup I was. Only child and living in Belgium. My parents would only turn on the light when it was pitch dark outside. So we sat in uncomfortable kitchen chairs on the patio or the garden and told stories while the mosquitoes had their dinner on us. Most the talks I had heard a hundred times and I was no longer interested in my parents and grandparents WW1 stories. I waited for the sky to turn black. On Sundays my mother used to take naps and the radio would only play opera in the “Bel Canto hour”. I tried to occupy myself in a world of make belief. Then 1940 hit and there was excitement. Living next to a target electrical plant, we lived with constant alarms, false and real. We ran to the shelter day and night. We did not sleep much. The garden had to be enlarged for more vegetables and My chore was to check for slugs and drown them in salt. We started a rabbit family and more and more stalls had to be cleaned. We no longer felt safe to sit till the sky was dark. We sat behind windows covered in blue papers so no lights would show. For some odd reason I no longer was bored, scared? yes, hungry? yes, not bored. My grandson with all the electronic gadgets he can ask for tells me that he is bored. Is it perhaps that we need more “work” rather than playtime?
By JeannotKensinger on 04/07/2008 12:21 pm
MaurineH
Good Grief! Your conversation took a bizarre turn towards the end, didn’t it? Part robot, part human? No thanks! I’ll settle for all-human despite the flaws. I was fortunate as an only child to have a bike, a library card, pencils and paper. I loved to read and though our local library was 3 miles away, when I was very young I’d peddle over on Saturday mornings and spend most of the day sitting in the window seat, reading. My ambition was to read all the books in the library ….unfulfilled, but I did get through a LOT of books! I began to write very early - still write nearly every day, have a published book, and have taught writing. My parents took me with them almost all of the time, (no babysitters), so I learned to be a quiet observer of the adult world. My earliest memories include taking a pencil and drawing tablet wherever I went. I often sat on the carpet drawing caricatures of adults who were mostly oblivious. During vacations, my friends and I went to the movies…double features, yea! I lived in a great neighborhood where we could play outside until after dark, and during the winter, we played Monopoly endlessly. My dad was a building contractor who let me “make stuff” with a hammer, nails and scrap wood; I’m still grateful for the skills he taught me. Radio programs for kids were very big when I was growing up, and I always listened to “The Lone Ranger”, and “The Shadow.” Although it wasn’t always an idyllic childhood, I don’t remember ever being bored. My grandchildren have all the hi-tech gadgets but they also live in the country and have “chores.” I have high hopes that they will won’t become total techies but will achieve a good balance as they grow into adulthood. Of course, I’m sitting at my computer as I write and I wouldn’t know what I’d do without a PC!
By MaurineH on 04/07/2008 12:59 pm
1GirlieGirl
Kids today are so accustomed to over-stimulation, you have to really encourage them to use their imaginations. Look at the remakes of older movies - nothing is implied, it’s all “in your face”. For example, The Haunting of Hill House…..in the original, you never actually saw any ghosts, you heard things, and the rest was implied and understood. It was one of the scariest movies I saw as a kid. The remake has all the cheesy computer generated crap, and nothing is left to the imagination. Recently, there was a teachers’ strike in my area. The biggest complaint parents had was the expense of trying to keep their kids occupied and free from boredom while they were out of school. Moms and Dads were angry because after a couple of days, they were running out of places to take their kids for entertainment. The entire time watching this drama play out, I thought, “How about sitting around the dining room table with your kids and TALKING to them, or playing a board game, or putting a puzzle together, or reading together?” Why does your idea of entertaining the children and keeping them occupied have to include money? It’s definitely different from when I was a kid. We had toys that didn’t go beep beep - you used your imagination and create fun for yourself. Or you went outside and climbed trees or played hide and seek or rode your bike or skateboard. There’s too much of the electronic and not enough of the human in child rearing these days.
By 1GirlieGirl on 04/07/2008 1:00 pm
BuhByeHillaryHillaryBuhBye
Ginger and Maurine, I agree! We entertained ourselves and had terrific self-propulsion and imagination. Our parents played chess, Monopoly, Scrabble and other board games or cards with us, or we all danced and sang and played instruments, or as a family we sat down and watched College Bowl. My dad would get dimples in his cheeks smiling at us as young kids because we read so much we could answer college level questions at 7-10…and making our parents proud just made us read more. We were lucky. Now many parents just seem to buy another piece of useless junk to throw on the pile.
By BuhByeHillaryHillaryBuhBye on 04/07/2008 1:16 pm
MARKKLEINMD
Ginger makes an extremely good point about how the implied can be more scary, or sexier, than seeing the actual monster or sex act on the screen. An excellent example is the Donald Sutherland remake of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. The same is true about sex in films and books. People are so obsessed about sex today because it’s so unsatisfying delinked from the imagination. When I grew up in 1940s and 1950s, people were more likely to appreciate the notion the brain is the primary sex organ and genitals its appendages!
By MARKKLEINMD on 04/07/2008 2:19 pm
BuhByeHillaryHillaryBuhBye
Dear Dr. Klein, Are you sure you’re not one of the kids over at Gawker.com that refer to the Wow site as a hunting ground for postmenopausal rich coyotes? Because they’re a funny bunch over there that would just love to play a little trick. Like throwing a doctor into the middle of a bunch of women to see how long it would take one to bite…and then report back to Gawker readers with all their snarky comments to follow….hmmmm? Just checking….because I know the Gawker Stalkers aren’t delinked from their imaginations!
By BuhByeHillaryHillaryBuhBye on 04/08/2008 1:32 am
1GirlieGirl
Ms. de Cornelia - hear, hear!
By 1GirlieGirl on 04/08/2008 11:32 am
HayaSpilka
I agree, Dr. Klein. The internet (which, ironically, I am using now) has snatched, not only our bodies but so many of our souls as well. I believe in reading, especially literary reading, which stimulates the imagination, challenges our attitudes, replenishes our thinking, deepens our reflection (and self-knowledge), and keeps us in touch with “the emotion of the mysterious”—the most profound and necessary emotion, according to Einstein. And it is also literature that can teach us how to love, rather than indulge in instant and peculiar gratifications.
By HayaSpilka on 04/10/2008 1:11 pm
NancyIddings
Hi Ginger Yesterday my son and I (he is 16) had a conversation about “scary” movies. We both agreed that all these “slasher-kill the blonde teenager” are not scary. They just desensitize you to violence. (hence the situation in Florida where the girls beat up their “friend”.) To validate his point, My son brought up the scene in The Shining where the wife look at the typewrite and saw that her husband (J. Nickelson) was not really writing a novel but just pyscho-nonsense. Very scary but without any blood or mean spirited violence. I then told him about the original “Haunting of Hill House and how that was one of the scariest movie I have ever seen. Yes, kids are bored but so what? I was bored as as a kid and we were one of the first in our neighborhood to have a TV. Boredom is a good thing when it causes you to be creative. I mean, how many video games can you play before you just want to get up and do something different?. Bring on the boredom it breeds creativity. Parents are too into pleasing their kids today. So your kids are bored, so what! ? Let then go figure out what to do to not be bored while you pay bills or take a nice not bath Just my opinion. - Nancy
By NancyIddings on 04/09/2008 10:04 pm
LoisV
Nancy I really agree with you. Kids should be bored sometimes so they can create something to do besides sit in front of a screen. But the rub is what the parents do when they are bored. Are they good role models? Kids can create bad things to do if they don’t have good role models. Well, look at this grandma sitting in front of a screen because it is easier than getting out my paint brushes and creating something. Motivation is the key. I need a good role model. Lois
By LoisV on 04/12/2008 12:39 pm
ChipsAHoey
We try to keep a Waldorf household which means no or rarely used electronics and no plastic toys - my now 15 yo is into video at school (go figure, but she is actually very talented at it), my 9 yo prefers making fairy houses in the woods around our house but she does get bored easily to which I respond “don’t tell me you are bored, there is plenty to do around here” and then she knows enough and scatters and finds a book to read in a quiet corner or makes forts (remember forts?), and our 3 1/2 yo plays “knight” and “pirate” but the few movies he has seen are memorized so sometimes a knight is friends with Buzz Lightyear (lol) - so I think moderation is the key as with most things - I think being bored is a good skill to overcome but allowing a “zone out” by watching DVD’s on a 9 hour car drive is not a bad thing either - I do know it’s easier for me to keep the electronics to a minimum because I live on an island off the coast of Maine where many other families are equally dedicated to “going off the grid” a little - but I will admit I love checking my NetFlix cue and I do watch the Jim Lehrer report….I like JMK’s point that when in crisis, there is no such thing as boredom so I guess we should also call ourselves lucky that we have so much? it’s not a simple question…
By ChipsAHoey on 04/07/2008 1:02 pm
CAROLINEMuLVEY
My children had allotted time for the computer. After homework. When my children went to school they had homework that was expected to be done on the computer. That is why we bought one. After their homework they were expected to go outside and play. They were also expected to join an activity at school. My son played basketball and baseball. My daughter played track and took a child care course. They were to be in their rooms an hour before bed so they could read a book. My Grandson is 3 1/2 years old. He plays with all kinds of computer games. Play station, that ride a bike and you do all kinds of games, and V-tech. So I bought him a bike and an electric backhoe. He had lots of books and all kinds of cars and trucks. Even though his parents are giving him all kinds of tecnology. Nanna and Poppy will counter act with toys that helps him use his imagination. I remember when I went to the grocery store and the cereal lane was small we had a few choses. But today is like the cereal lane there is to many choses for the kids to make.
By CAROLINEMuLVEY on 04/07/2008 1:06 pm
BuhByeHillaryHillaryBuhBye
I was never bored as a child or as an adult. Had a sense of balance between outdoor activity and indoor serenity instilled at a young age. love learning new things and technology but make the distinction between what enhances and what is excess. “Too muchness” stifles creativity and happiness and creates emptiness. Hans Christian Anderson’s story “The Nightingale” had the message of a wealthy emperor being weighted down and made miserable by his acquisitions. The sweet sound of a nightingale brought him back to life. We need a mix of enlivening nature, purpose and pleasure to be deeply content, otherwise having everything in the world isn’t enough. Turning up Sinatra and dancing in the kitchen with someone you love while the spaghetti sauce simmers will always be hard to beat. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HVTJF_fkdc
By BuhByeHillaryHillaryBuhBye on 04/07/2008 1:06 pm
BarbaraTaylor
Don’t think I was bored as a child. I’d go running around with my friends, go fishing, climb trees, go to the movies every Sat. to watch the seria and watch TV. Growing up to many of us spent too much time watching TV. At least kids today can see beyond their own world with the internet. On the other side – the other day I saw three girls walking together. Obviously they were friends. The only problem all three were listening to their own iPod. Didn’t see any interaction between them. As the father in Bye Bye Birdie sang – What’s The Matter With These Kids Today! Oh wait was he singing about the kids from the 50’s and 60’s.
By BarbaraTaylor on 04/07/2008 1:34 pm