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Conversation | 04/07/2008 7:54 pm

Growing Up, I Was Bored 'Quite Often' ... Today, Nobody Is Bored

© Shutterstock

EDITOR’S NOTE: Also featuring special guest, Joni Evans, CEO of wowOwow.

JONI: Let’s talk about the way kids grow up today versus the way we grew up.

MARY: I was an only child and I didn’t have cousins and our world was local; it was a neighborhood world. Today, so many of the young people – and that means from really young, up through the 20s and 30s, have friendships with people on screen. These are friendships that they enjoy and seem to get great satisfaction from. But they’re with people that they have never actually touched or met physically. They have relationships through screens. And they live such a screen life. They emulate the people they see on the screen. They’re stimulated and directed, and admire people on screen. And they’re amused and entertained by people on screen. And the screens can be very big ones or they can be tiny ones, iPods. They can be almost anything. But their lives are very screen driven.

LIZ: I remember when I was a child, being bored quite often. And now nobody is bored. Nobody lets themselves be bored. My father would say, “Come on you children, want to go with me?” And we’d say, “Where are you going, Daddy?” And he’d say, “Gotta take a chance and get in the car.” He’d be backing the car out and we’re afraid not to go because it was when we didn’t go that he took the others to the park and rented ponies for them and wonderful things happened. And it seemed to me, the days I went, he would always go to see Mr. So-and-so about cotton futures and I’d be sitting in the car with nothing. So I remember enduring that. But I don’t think kids endure anything anymore. They have instant gratification, instant games.

MARY: So much of life today is a game. There are games that the children play. There are games that men and women play on consoles, there are alternative-reality games. There are games on television, which everybody watches. There are games that have in them the prospect of 15 minutes of fame. And all those games and all those screens – are they changing people?

LIZ: Is it something missing from their lives?

MARY: It may not be. It may be wonderful. It may be an aspect of evolution.

LIZ: The women I’ve observed with children or grandchildren – they spend all their time trying to get those kids to go out and play sports and to get them to read. And they are tremendously distracted by all this mechanical entertainment.

LESLEY: But don’t you think that this business about getting kids to read is not new? Ever since television has come into our lives … My point on the reading is that it goes back a couple of generations. And I just wonder about these kids today, if their brains aren’t wired completely differently from ours. We grew up reading and learning through our eyes. And these kids do learn differently. They learn visually and aurally. They learn from two different ways at the same time. I bet if somebody did some brain mapping, they would see that they absorb information differently. They’ve evolved.

MARY: They get different ideas, too. I mean, they know there’s a world. They don’t think that their neighborhood is the world. And they also know, by watching television or by watching the computer screen, that if they really want to know something about a rosebud, they can go find out about the rosebud. I mean, they know that the world is very complex, that it’s very big and it’s got a lot going on and there’s a tremendous amount to think about and to do something about or to care about. We weren’t programmed to think that way because there was nothing stimulating us to do that. It’s probably part of evolution.

LESLEY: It is. I agree. But they, of course, aren’t having the human contact that we did. And we don’t know how that’s going to affect the next generation.

JONI: Ray Kurzweil.

MARY: Ray Kurzweil. If you read Ray’s book, eventually you will be whatever you want to be, and not necessarily human. But you will be fully alive.

LESLEY: You know, many years ago I did a program when I was on Face the Nation. It was science fiction that could come true – that really could come true. And the idea was that in a couple of hundred years we would be computers, with a little tiny dot of our DNA. We’d be completely mechanical. We wouldn’t have arms. We wouldn’t have legs. We might not even need hearts.

MARY: Now you’ve got nanotechnology coming – in Ray Kurzweil’s book, The Singularity Is Near.

LESLEY: You know, if they can come up with a better hand than our hand, right? Then one day our hands will atrophy. You could see it. You could see that we would go there. We won’t have to exercise.

JONI: We won’t have to die.

LESLEY: We won’t have to die, right. But what will we be?

LIZ: Last week, in The New York Times, there was a story about a future world where people are part robot and part human and there’s a woman who is trying to have herself reconfigured into a 12-year-old because her husband is a pedophile. It’s incredible.

LESLEY: Oh, my word.

Read more about: Kids, Parenting, Technology

110 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Kay Sara
I am thrilled that my 2 boyys ages 21 & 22 LOVE to read and are avid readers. My oldest is in med school and the doctors tell them that their generation make wonderful surgeons because of the eye-hand coordination they got from video games. My younger son is extremely enterprising and creative - an artist. When they were kids, I did so many things with them (in addition to their computer activities) - we made spice soups - smelling and naming all of the spices I had in my kitchen and compbining them. Both kids are great cooks by the way. We turned my youngest’s bedroom into a zoo by making giant construction paper animals and hanging them from the ceiling. We grew all kinds of cactus and then orchards - not to mention gardening outside. My boys are also avid athletes - lacross, swimming, track, soccer, skiing, hockey, tennis, mountain biking, water skiing, golf, etc.etc. I enjoy this generation - their friends and my sons. They had many get togethers at friends homes and ours and socialized since 3 in pre school. I am not worried about them - they also both have such good judgment and hearts. I just hope we have a decent world to turn over to them. Oh, they both also play musical instruments learned from school and then self taught guitar as well. Geez, as I think about it these kids are pretty accomplished . Oh and they are very well traveled Central America, Mexiso, Europe as well as U.S. Please excuse me- I do not mean to sound like I am bragging- I just think maybe we need to look at their entire lives - not just how much time they spend at the computer. The times I was bored as a kid were not productive… and painful to endure.
By Kay Sara on 04/07/2008 12:35 pm
Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye
Suzanne—You’re not bragging…but about your kids, isn’t that allowed—they sound terrific. My son and his friends have always amazed me. They are caring, well educated, well traveled, responsible, informed….and techy. He went to part of HS and grad school in Europe and remained. Working in different countries (including at ABC News in Paris). He was born when I was 17 so we did all the sports together and I taught him how to cook too. I also hosted exchange students from many countries and I think their generation is super. You’re so right….our responsibility is to turn a planet over to all the children of the world that is worthy of their dreams and their lives.
By Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye on 04/07/2008 4:20 pm
Kay Sara
Suzanne, Isn’t it the greatest thing to expand the horizons of our kids? How wonderful for your son in Paris- he must be really something aftre having a Mom like you. My kids are my greatest pleasure! When I hear my sons order adventurous items on the menu - curious minds, love new experiences, I am so pleased and get so excited over our generation of kids. They are awesome! My artist son spent 3 weeks in Paris on his own inbetween high school and college (he won an award that provided this experience) - I have to stop because I could go one and on about them. One excellent thing the boys school did was incorpoarte the underlying theme in all classes all grade of applying and discovering “Your Personal Best” and they addressed values such as integrity, helping others, etc. Nothing is better than to witness the beauty in these young people.
By Kay Sara on 04/08/2008 9:29 am
karen spies
I have to agree with you. I see a lot of kids around my neighborhood there are all types. I had no expectations with my children accept that they be happy, be a contented person that cares about those around them. I just had fun with my kids. I am one of 7 children and Mom did not have a lot of time to spend with me, so I spent a great deal of time with my own children. I made play things available… we always had books. My daughter’s favorite game was building with paper cups to make paper cup castles. My daughter is now a Lawyer working for the State to help children born into at risk homes and my son who went through the paper garbage, to find the “best” pieces when he was 7, is working on getting into Grad school to become an Art Professor. Both kids did their share of video playing and TV watching but having an environment that made learning fun… my father told me he read the encyclopedia as a young adult, then my younger brother did the same thing and finally my son followed in their footsteps. My daughter told me after talking to fellow Lawyers that, many of them as children would want to do math problems for fun or practice writing words before they could read. May be we hear more about the video playing kids because people love to complain. My kids and their friends found things to keep themselves fulfilled. I will add one thing, when I was young Mom would say can’t you just go read a book and keep yourself busy… I found out as an adult that I have ADHD and I couldn’t concentrate. I now an on Ritalin and have learned news techniques to deal with my ADHD… I know that is a dirty word but now I have the ability to start and finish a task with much less stress life is more fulfilling!
By karen spies on 04/09/2008 1:04 am
Micky Mc
I remember thinking I was bored at the time but now looking back I realize I was being impatient. I loved to read and would devour the Reader’s Digest books and magazine as soon as they came! I loved National Geographic and vowed to read all of Moms encylopedias, but never really did. I had about 20 neighborhood friends who were and still are like siblings to me, and we made up games and used the Michigan weather to entertain ourselves. Muggy summer nights catching fireflys and playing outside till way after dark. Winter sno-days when we would play ice hockey in the street and build snow forts and have “wars.” Taking turns riding the only fast two-wheeler on the block to the corner before someone else let the neighbors dog, and my best friend, Mugsy, loose to chase us! When she caught us she would knock us over and cover us with kisses! So much fun! Setting up “Vet Doctor” offices on the front porch and taking in strays and mothering them endlessly in the name of playing “Doctor.’ Bored?! What was that?
By Micky Mc on 04/07/2008 12:43 pm
Mugsy Peabody
Well, as to material things, after the war, my parents moved into the “hired hand” house on my grandparents’ farm because there was so little housing stock available. So the first place I ever lived had no running water or indoor plumbing, nor electricity at first. The telephone was down the road at the grandparents’. When I was six, we moved into a queen anne victorian, but I’ve often thought the first five years formed my creativity. I’m not even sure what bored is. When things get “stale,” I find other things to do. My own company is satisfying, because I was alone so much on the farm. So I’ve always seen being bored as a failure of character.
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/07/2008 1:01 pm
Meg Umans
Oh Mugsy yes. I was usually alone for a different reason, but the effect was the same. (I had a recurring cancer in my thigh bone, spent some childhood years in hip casts.) I learned to read when I was 3, and once I started, I never stopped. I’m still unsociable in the flesh (but a chatterbox online) because reading was more interesting than other kids who could do things I couldn’t. I know what you mean about boredom being a failure of character. There’s so much to do. Okay, kids today have too many options and too short attention spans… whole other subject.
By Meg Umans on 04/07/2008 5:43 pm
Mugsy Peabody
My mother once said in her lifetime she had gone from the third world to the first world and only moved 100 miles!
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/07/2008 8:19 pm
Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye
Mugsy— You have truly had an amazing wealth of experiences…and the tremendous sense to derive so much from all of them….so admirable.
By Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye on 04/07/2008 9:26 pm
Mugsy Peabody
Three very very different things with the kids: (1) nutrition nutrition nutrition (we didn’t have all that sugar); (2) overstimulation (television, iPods, music videos, computers, classes, etc.); and (3) no common assumptions culturally about their behavior across the board. (If I acted out in school, my parents and grandparents and the neighbors knew about it before I ever got home. And all of them let me know what was expected of me.) The kids don’t have that. Another thing. This CHP guy told me, when the kids learn from the Rules of the Road for their driver license test, they then forget what they’ve learned, because they don’t make the connection that this is REALLY WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO DO. No connection between learning and behavior. Yikes!!!!
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/07/2008 1:15 pm
J B
My 34 year old son is a voracious reader…he is an engineer who can work on anything, fix anything. When he was six he was taking apart small appliances my Father bought at garage sales, he would put them back together and they would work better! My younger sons, 10 and 12 are crazed if deprived of their “World Of Warcraft” computer game for any length of time. They have no interest in books, games, playing outside…none of it. They hate to go to any restaurant unless it has an arcade. We have fought this battle so long we have now given up. They get A’s and B’s and their teachers say they are a joy. We sit down to dinner each night as a family, and I have made a rule that there is ABSOLUTELY NO discussion of the computer game. It is brief, precious time. If it were only up to me and I thought I could live with the fall out and melt downs, I would happily toss the computer game out the window.
By J B on 04/07/2008 1:33 pm
Bella Mia
My boys, 7, 9 and 12 are obsessed with world of wawrcraft, too. We allow 1/2 hour per day after homework, and they can only get on after dark - so they have to go outside and play while it’s light. We live in a wooded neighborhood, so they ride bikes, make forts, and their father does lots with them through Boy Scouts. He’s the scoutmaster, and they do a campout every month, playing capture the flag until late at night. Our oldest daughter was is into horses, like I was, giving her lots of opportunity to be outdoors and doing athletic activities. We allow very little TV during the week - and we have a family meeting (almost) every night to talk about the day. When I hear the word “Bored” I say - Extra chores - for $$$ if they want - usually they run right back out the door.
By Bella Mia on 04/08/2008 5:00 pm
Mugsy Peabody
Yes, you know. It seriously worries me that the kids have no real relationship with the earth. They don’t garden. Walks in the woods are with an iPod sound track and trying to figure just how long they have to put up with this until they can get back to the grid.
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/07/2008 1:59 pm
Hedda Lettuce
I don’t think remember ever being bored as a child. Thanks to my mom, I was reading at a very early age and entertained myself with books at every opportunity. We also lived in an old neighborhood and were surrounded by friends and family so someone was always on the front porch in the evening, having a chat. We were the first family on our block to own a television but only watched it on the weekends basically. There were letters to write to my friends, even though we lived in the same city, journals to keep, and everything to learn about. Nope, not bored!
By Hedda Lettuce on 04/07/2008 2:07 pm
A B
Whether one is a child of today or of yesteryear is inconsequential if one is an anachronism.
By A B on 04/07/2008 2:21 pm