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Conversation | 04/07/2008 7:54 pm

Growing Up, I Was Bored 'Quite Often' ... Today, Nobody Is Bored

© Shutterstock

EDITOR’S NOTE: Also featuring special guest, Joni Evans, CEO of wowOwow.

JONI: Let’s talk about the way kids grow up today versus the way we grew up.

MARY: I was an only child and I didn’t have cousins and our world was local; it was a neighborhood world. Today, so many of the young people – and that means from really young, up through the 20s and 30s, have friendships with people on screen. These are friendships that they enjoy and seem to get great satisfaction from. But they’re with people that they have never actually touched or met physically. They have relationships through screens. And they live such a screen life. They emulate the people they see on the screen. They’re stimulated and directed, and admire people on screen. And they’re amused and entertained by people on screen. And the screens can be very big ones or they can be tiny ones, iPods. They can be almost anything. But their lives are very screen driven.

LIZ: I remember when I was a child, being bored quite often. And now nobody is bored. Nobody lets themselves be bored. My father would say, “Come on you children, want to go with me?” And we’d say, “Where are you going, Daddy?” And he’d say, “Gotta take a chance and get in the car.” He’d be backing the car out and we’re afraid not to go because it was when we didn’t go that he took the others to the park and rented ponies for them and wonderful things happened. And it seemed to me, the days I went, he would always go to see Mr. So-and-so about cotton futures and I’d be sitting in the car with nothing. So I remember enduring that. But I don’t think kids endure anything anymore. They have instant gratification, instant games.

MARY: So much of life today is a game. There are games that the children play. There are games that men and women play on consoles, there are alternative-reality games. There are games on television, which everybody watches. There are games that have in them the prospect of 15 minutes of fame. And all those games and all those screens – are they changing people?

LIZ: Is it something missing from their lives?

MARY: It may not be. It may be wonderful. It may be an aspect of evolution.

LIZ: The women I’ve observed with children or grandchildren – they spend all their time trying to get those kids to go out and play sports and to get them to read. And they are tremendously distracted by all this mechanical entertainment.

LESLEY: But don’t you think that this business about getting kids to read is not new? Ever since television has come into our lives … My point on the reading is that it goes back a couple of generations. And I just wonder about these kids today, if their brains aren’t wired completely differently from ours. We grew up reading and learning through our eyes. And these kids do learn differently. They learn visually and aurally. They learn from two different ways at the same time. I bet if somebody did some brain mapping, they would see that they absorb information differently. They’ve evolved.

MARY: They get different ideas, too. I mean, they know there’s a world. They don’t think that their neighborhood is the world. And they also know, by watching television or by watching the computer screen, that if they really want to know something about a rosebud, they can go find out about the rosebud. I mean, they know that the world is very complex, that it’s very big and it’s got a lot going on and there’s a tremendous amount to think about and to do something about or to care about. We weren’t programmed to think that way because there was nothing stimulating us to do that. It’s probably part of evolution.

LESLEY: It is. I agree. But they, of course, aren’t having the human contact that we did. And we don’t know how that’s going to affect the next generation.

JONI: Ray Kurzweil.

MARY: Ray Kurzweil. If you read Ray’s book, eventually you will be whatever you want to be, and not necessarily human. But you will be fully alive.

LESLEY: You know, many years ago I did a program when I was on Face the Nation. It was science fiction that could come true – that really could come true. And the idea was that in a couple of hundred years we would be computers, with a little tiny dot of our DNA. We’d be completely mechanical. We wouldn’t have arms. We wouldn’t have legs. We might not even need hearts.

MARY: Now you’ve got nanotechnology coming – in Ray Kurzweil’s book, The Singularity Is Near.

LESLEY: You know, if they can come up with a better hand than our hand, right? Then one day our hands will atrophy. You could see it. You could see that we would go there. We won’t have to exercise.

JONI: We won’t have to die.

LESLEY: We won’t have to die, right. But what will we be?

LIZ: Last week, in The New York Times, there was a story about a future world where people are part robot and part human and there’s a woman who is trying to have herself reconfigured into a 12-year-old because her husband is a pedophile. It’s incredible.

LESLEY: Oh, my word.

Read more about: Kids, Parenting, Technology

110 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Candelaria Silva
Boredom is relative. A lot of the kids I know who are shuttled from activity to activity still say that their bored. They say this both between activities and sometimes during the activities when it doesn’t catch their imagination. I’ve learned that sometimes boredom in my life, means that there’s the blessedness of routine and no drama…yet. I have worked with lots of children and if parents are conscientious they can give them what many of us remember fondly from our childhoods - the gift of time, leisure. reading, conversation, and home-cooked meals plus the great new technology related things of today. For instance, there are two websites that allow you to build virtual bookshelves and list your books and opinions about them - that is something that children will like to do. We can’t turn back the clock but we can - as mother, aunts, grandmothers and allies to children - give them some of the time, attention and loving care that they need even if they don’t know they want it.
By Candelaria Silva on 04/07/2008 6:27 pm
Deborah G
Mickey Mc, above, said, ” I remember thinking I was bored at the time but now looking back I realize I was being impatient.” Impatience is now the norm because children are used to instant gratification. I agree. I thought I was bored, but I was so rich. Rich with imagination, friends who had imaginations, and books. So many books! We had a cherry tree in the front yard. I would climb that big old tree with a bowl and a book. Fill the bowl, lounge on a limb, and read. I was very rich indeed.
By Deborah G on 04/07/2008 7:01 pm
Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye
Deborah, We had a huge tree too, ‘Patty’. that would climb up high to a natural nest and read. Very soothing to listen to the breeze in the leaves…we thought of the tree like a friend. When my parents said “Patty” would be chopped down to make way for an addition…we kids had a group fit! My mother replanted the tap root in the back yard and another Patty grew.
By Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye on 04/07/2008 8:36 pm
iris odonata
I have at times been accused of having an “overactive” imagination. This is usually by someone who has none and is younger. I explain that I spent my summers on the Russian River at my grandparents’ cabin. No TV, just an old time stand up radio with great dials that broadcast only when it felt like it. I had my own tree fort nestled in a circle of old grove redwoods. This was my own private place to hang out in after a day pollywogging. I had my invisible audience that I entertained with my big bag of 7 year old wisdom. I sang, swang and listened to the blue jays henpeck each other. I first read Nancy Drew there, and awaited the day Grandma would think I was old enough for her Zane Grey collection. To this day I remember, the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of “Good Morning Miss Dove.” Long walks deep into the forest carpet at a time of less humans can never be replaced or the nights wiled away staring into the crackling fire. Two small rooms away, the grown-ups sat chewing fat, while stirring the daily news into Grandpa’s homemade brew. Kitchen windows black as scrying mirrors, backdrops to debate and laughter trumping the pinochle bidding wars…Sure, there were times I was bored, yet my world was colored by warmth, both in the country and back home in the city. We lived next to Temescal Creek on a street where all of the local kids could be found riding bikes and playing ball games. After school, there were Girl Scout meetings or trips to the library or museum. Life was rich with experiences and possibilities……The more than likely reality of interface between techknowledgy and the human race is scary. Star Trek the Next Generation gave us both “Data” and the “Borgs”. If to be immortal I must delete my humanity, then I am already obsolete. Today, ala Timothy Leary, they are turned on and tuned out. They are most definitely wired differently. Of course they’re not bored, they’re self-absorbed.
By iris odonata on 04/07/2008 7:14 pm
iris odonata
Twice now I have been kicked off trying to rebut my own harshness. Self-immersion is more what I wanted to convey.
By iris odonata on 04/07/2008 9:02 pm
Mugsy Peabody
What do you mean, “Kicked off”?
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/07/2008 9:49 pm
iris odonata
Oops, did not mean to imply this website, just my server. Man my tongue (or typing fingers) are tripping over my tongue. Sorry for any confusion.
By iris odonata on 04/07/2008 10:34 pm
Kay Sara
You remind me, Iris, of beautiful dark summer nights sitting on my Grandmother’s farm house porch in Nebraska. I loved sitting there in the darkness and stillness looking at all of the stars (I didn’t see as many in Detroit where I lived) separating out the sound of the crickets- a favorite sound of mine to this day from the murmuring sounds of the grown ups talking and laughing coming through the open windows. When I would look away from the dark fields back into the house I saw my relatives silhouetted against warm golden light that filled the house.
By Kay Sara on 04/08/2008 10:08 am
Snookie Rivers
There are still plenty of kids who make their own fun and still get an abundance of exercise. Their exercise often comes through school or community sports. If you think kids have lost their imagination, find two bored little boys, give them each a straw, or a spaghetti noodle for that matter, and see how long it takes them to stage their own gunfight.
By Snookie Rivers on 04/07/2008 10:03 pm
Kay Sara
I still chuckle at the thought of my boys playing with their friends using my youngest’s beloved stuffed Winnie the Pooh as the main character in their “Monster Piece Theatre” play.
By Kay Sara on 04/08/2008 10:13 am
DeAnne from Big D
When I said I was bored growing up - my parents gave me a chore to do… Yikes!!! On the other hand, the world I lived in was a different place in the 1970s than any bigger town Texas 2008: We left the house unlocked without giving it another thought; ran, played, danced and skateboarded around the neighborhood with friends until dusk; played at the park; organized games with lot’s of friends such as “four corners” a small town city intersection game and a long story of how it is done… I lament that my kid’s aren’t able to do that because of known worries… Were they there then and we just didn’t know it?
By DeAnne from Big D on 04/07/2008 10:48 pm
Amelie Poulain
I too would like to know the stats on the percentage of weirdos in society in each of the past 5 decades. Is our culture now inspiring more pedophiles to act? I suspect we just focus on it more. I spent almost every waking moment outside unsupervised at play with all my friends, fearlessly. When it was time to go home, my mother would step out the door and blow a whistle that you could hear all over town to summon us for dinner. Everyone knew when it was dinnertime at our house. When I was twelve, I was at a bus stop with my clarinet on the way to Youth Orchestra practice which was miles and miles away from where I lived. A stranger pulled up in a huge Olds and asked me if I needed a ride. I politely replied, “No thank you. I’d rather take the bus.” He drove off. Later, when I told my dad I could tell that he was really upset, but he never tried to instill fear in me of potential evil-doing. He just said, you did the right thing.
By Amelie Poulain on 04/17/2008 1:34 pm
Tammi Norris
Bored? Yes quite often and believe it or not it was the best thing that could have happened to me. My 17 year son gets bored all the time. He has internet, cable tv with 300 channels to choose from (I had 3), Xbox and a driver’s license. As a small child in the late 1960’s when I was board my mom would tell me to go outside and play. We built forts, put playing cards in the spokes of our bicycles to make a cool sound like the motor of an engine and dressed up in costumes to put on shows for anyone that would pay a nickel to listen to us sing songs from the Carpenters first album. Don’t laugh. I made 25 cents that day and back then 25 cents meant I could ride my cool sounding bike to the corner store and buy 5 candy bars. I remember my grandmother’s cure for boredom was to pull out the Sears catalogue and we would cut out pictures of models in pretty dresses and glue them to popsicle sticks to make our own paper dolls. Boredom is what fed our imagination; we just need more mentors to show our children the way and less pedophiles so they can go outside and play.
By Tammi Norris on 04/07/2008 11:23 pm
Myrna  Reynolds
My high school English teacher told us, “Only the boring are bored.” Because I didn’t want to be perceived as boring, I found many interests and activities which still intrigue me.
By Myrna Reynolds on 04/07/2008 11:28 pm
helene lorraine
I was never bored as kid. I had friends from school and neighborhood. Our school had amazing traditions, culture. If you have a kid, find best school out there and half of your problems is gone. The other one is up to you. If you don’t want to spend time with your kid or find exceptional activities for him/her, that your neighborhood has to offer, don’t blame Utube and Ipods.
By helene lorraine on 04/08/2008 12:47 am