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Conversation | 04/07/2008 7:54 pm

Growing Up, I Was Bored 'Quite Often' ... Today, Nobody Is Bored

© Shutterstock

EDITOR’S NOTE: Also featuring special guest, Joni Evans, CEO of wowOwow.

JONI: Let’s talk about the way kids grow up today versus the way we grew up.

MARY: I was an only child and I didn’t have cousins and our world was local; it was a neighborhood world. Today, so many of the young people – and that means from really young, up through the 20s and 30s, have friendships with people on screen. These are friendships that they enjoy and seem to get great satisfaction from. But they’re with people that they have never actually touched or met physically. They have relationships through screens. And they live such a screen life. They emulate the people they see on the screen. They’re stimulated and directed, and admire people on screen. And they’re amused and entertained by people on screen. And the screens can be very big ones or they can be tiny ones, iPods. They can be almost anything. But their lives are very screen driven.

LIZ: I remember when I was a child, being bored quite often. And now nobody is bored. Nobody lets themselves be bored. My father would say, “Come on you children, want to go with me?” And we’d say, “Where are you going, Daddy?” And he’d say, “Gotta take a chance and get in the car.” He’d be backing the car out and we’re afraid not to go because it was when we didn’t go that he took the others to the park and rented ponies for them and wonderful things happened. And it seemed to me, the days I went, he would always go to see Mr. So-and-so about cotton futures and I’d be sitting in the car with nothing. So I remember enduring that. But I don’t think kids endure anything anymore. They have instant gratification, instant games.

MARY: So much of life today is a game. There are games that the children play. There are games that men and women play on consoles, there are alternative-reality games. There are games on television, which everybody watches. There are games that have in them the prospect of 15 minutes of fame. And all those games and all those screens – are they changing people?

LIZ: Is it something missing from their lives?

MARY: It may not be. It may be wonderful. It may be an aspect of evolution.

LIZ: The women I’ve observed with children or grandchildren – they spend all their time trying to get those kids to go out and play sports and to get them to read. And they are tremendously distracted by all this mechanical entertainment.

LESLEY: But don’t you think that this business about getting kids to read is not new? Ever since television has come into our lives … My point on the reading is that it goes back a couple of generations. And I just wonder about these kids today, if their brains aren’t wired completely differently from ours. We grew up reading and learning through our eyes. And these kids do learn differently. They learn visually and aurally. They learn from two different ways at the same time. I bet if somebody did some brain mapping, they would see that they absorb information differently. They’ve evolved.

MARY: They get different ideas, too. I mean, they know there’s a world. They don’t think that their neighborhood is the world. And they also know, by watching television or by watching the computer screen, that if they really want to know something about a rosebud, they can go find out about the rosebud. I mean, they know that the world is very complex, that it’s very big and it’s got a lot going on and there’s a tremendous amount to think about and to do something about or to care about. We weren’t programmed to think that way because there was nothing stimulating us to do that. It’s probably part of evolution.

LESLEY: It is. I agree. But they, of course, aren’t having the human contact that we did. And we don’t know how that’s going to affect the next generation.

JONI: Ray Kurzweil.

MARY: Ray Kurzweil. If you read Ray’s book, eventually you will be whatever you want to be, and not necessarily human. But you will be fully alive.

LESLEY: You know, many years ago I did a program when I was on Face the Nation. It was science fiction that could come true – that really could come true. And the idea was that in a couple of hundred years we would be computers, with a little tiny dot of our DNA. We’d be completely mechanical. We wouldn’t have arms. We wouldn’t have legs. We might not even need hearts.

MARY: Now you’ve got nanotechnology coming – in Ray Kurzweil’s book, The Singularity Is Near.

LESLEY: You know, if they can come up with a better hand than our hand, right? Then one day our hands will atrophy. You could see it. You could see that we would go there. We won’t have to exercise.

JONI: We won’t have to die.

LESLEY: We won’t have to die, right. But what will we be?

LIZ: Last week, in The New York Times, there was a story about a future world where people are part robot and part human and there’s a woman who is trying to have herself reconfigured into a 12-year-old because her husband is a pedophile. It’s incredible.

LESLEY: Oh, my word.

Read more about: Kids, Parenting, Technology

110 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

ellen cardarelli
Reading some of the pursuits followed by your children, or offered to them, either for fun, exercise or to alleviate boredom is all very well when parents can afford such pursuits or are so involved with their children they can understand and satisfy their needs. However there are many, many children out there who do not have access to such luxuries. Watching TV and playing video games is all they understand. I taught in an inner-city school, and it seemed sad to me that we had to bring in a “play” expert to teach games to the children to play at recess in order to stop their aimless wandering and picking fights during recess. The basic buiding block of early childhood education is learning through play, or play acting. Using the imagination in Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, even Hide and Seek (showing my age here) were all ways of projecting and creating AND having fun. In addition we were OUTSIDE running around, not sedentary indoors, and we hated to hear that call for dinnertime or bedtime. Yes, children still get bored (ask any teacher how many times they hear that cry) but when they are left to themselves so few of them are equipped to entertain them selves without expensive gadgets or arranged after school activities, also becoming more expensive. “Go out and Play” should be the cry, then, when they hit their teens and beyond, their imagination and social skills, plus their bodies, will have had a productive workout.
By ellen cardarelli on 04/09/2008 11:37 am
M A gorm
I’m just wondering if there are any other movie fans out there who are becoming disgusted with the horrific handgun violence in many “highly rated” films like In Bruges and No Country for Old Men.As much as I like and respect Charlie Rose,he often interviews actors from these violent movies and this topic is seldomed mentionned.
By M A gorm on 04/09/2008 1:06 pm
theCHEROKEErose
i loved ‘no country for old men’…tommy lee jones is getting better every day of his life..yes, cant you tell, i’m a texan…did NOT like him as the ‘joker’ in BATMAN tho…hello..in case you havent noticed, we do live in a somewhat violent world….
By theCHEROKEErose on 04/09/2008 2:39 pm
theCHEROKEErose
my brother and i grew up on a sheep ranch in wyoming during the 1950’s…we lived about 50 miles from the nearest town, almost a hundred miles from the biggest ‘city’…our nearest neighbor was 4 miles away over roads that could be terrible…the local ‘store/post office/school/community meeting hall’ was 10 miles away, over the same roads that turned to white tunnels in winter, slippery, rutted mud in the rain, and a dustbowl when dry…we had no phone, no tv until 1959, and ‘official electric service’ arrived around the same time..we had no money to speak of..but, you know what…my brother, who is 3 years younger than me, and i managed to keep ourselves both entertained and alive until we went to ‘town school’ in the 1960’s…kids nowadays who dont live in the country dont have a clue…they would just waste away from sheer boredom (even tho country folk do have phones, tv’s, the internet, etc…)just a thought….
By theCHEROKEErose on 04/09/2008 2:37 pm
D A K
Growing up in the Bronx apartment building that I did, we were never bored….I don’t even think we knew that word..the years 1954 till 57 were very busy….we went around the block on our bikes, walked to the park 2 blocks away and played on the swings and jungle gyms, boys played ball in the street, we played giant step, simon sez,school, the stoop was the classroom, girls played with dolls and their carriages, the big blocks of sidewalks were divided into our homes….we played store and of course we played at each others homes with “real”toys….bored…NEVER!!
By D A K on 04/09/2008 3:02 pm
B. Bair
I was interested in the conversation about the differences between what it was like growing up “back then” and now. As a retired teacher and also someone who continues to work with children at summer camp, I see children in all sorts of recreation situations. They do seem to get bored a lot more easily than I ever did. I don’t ever remember being bored and I didn’t have much television growing up. I read constantly, played all kinds of games in the neighborhood and remember many happy hours in my own imaginative play with whatever materials were at hand. We didn’t have all the kind of toys that do everything for you like many of the toys do today. We had to imagine a lot of the action. I do remember trying hard sometimes to find things to do and one summer a friend suggested he liked to write stories. I spent the rest of that summer happily writing western adventures with all my friends in them and continued that writing for years afterward. I don’t even get bored today - I can always find something to do - even if it’s a crossword puzzle, book to read, craft to do, etc. At the summer camp where I work we have no computer access for kids and no cell phones etc. The children spend the summer playing games, enjoying outdoor sports, and connecting with each other like we always did before technology became so pervasive. We discourage the use of iPods and walkman when the campers are out hiking, but it’s a difficult message to enforce. On the other hand, I have to say I love the access to world wide information and resources that the computer age has given me. Where I used to go only to the library, I now can surf across the world via my computer and listen in on lectures at Princeton or Oxford via podcasts, or check out an encyclopedia in seconds. I still use the library, but the computer is an adjunct to that. I think about how wonderful it would have been to have had a computer to communicate with my pen pal in Japan that I had growing up but then I would have missed out on the excitement of getting that envelope with the exotic stamp in my mailbox every few weeks. I think there has to be a balance and the balance must be set by involved parents and caring adults in a child’s life. The biggest problem I see, and others have mentioned it, is that too many children expect to be entertained rather than finding ways to entertain themselves in healthy creative ways. As a teacher, I often found myself fighting the attitude that somehow I had to entertain students constantly. As I used to tell my kids, if I could entertain 30-40 people 5 days a week 5 hours a day, I think I could make a lot more money on the comedy circuit. One final word, it’s true that kids today are really tuned into the technology, but I see wonderful girls who come to our camp each summer, some of whom are second or third generation to come to this camp and it’s a rustic, traditional summer camp. They definitely connect in all the good ways to each other. Some of the counselors are from England or Australia or New Zealand but most are girls who grew up in the camp and came back as counselors. We play imaginative games, create all kinds of wonderful, funny skits, and activities, all without need or use of technology other than our own brains and whatever materials are at hand. We’re not quite ready for the nanotechs yet.
By B. Bair on 04/09/2008 4:23 pm
lisa wallace
saw your tv time today and wantedtocheck wow out I enjoyed reading your stories about your childhood
By lisa wallace on 04/09/2008 5:57 pm
Peg O
I grew up in a large family, and so there was lots of activities other than tv, etc. Once my mother met my claim of boredom with a suggestion of “digging a hole to China.” At age 5, I took things quite literally, and attempted to dig that hole, and when realized it would take too long, built a fort instead. Today. I have come to see boredom as a gift. It inspires creattive persuits. I think that it’s good for children to get bored and find something within themselves they have not discovered. Electronic gadgets have their place in our world, but boredom can be an impetous to discovery.
By Peg O on 04/09/2008 8:06 pm
The Ole Crone The Ole Crone
Every once in a while I’d get bored. “Mom, no one’s around, nothin’ to do.” Mom would say, “Really Little Crone? Well, I think I can find something for you to do.” I ran. That meant a chore. As I got lost all by myself and leaned against the outside of the house where she couldn’t see me, scouched on the ground, is when I discovered this and that and them and those and I wondered. Very often bored time (nothin’ to do) is an invitation to wonder, thus, thinkin’, thus creatin’. Today, I’m afraid, we are raisin’ up robots for the Company Store. And we seem to have young parents who don’t think twice or even once about long term damage the technology, planned play, outsourcin’ parentin’ to daycare, boxed and packaged foods, microwaves, organized sports are doin’ to their kids —who may be very sick adults. One way or another. Parents used to be so smart before they went and got themselves all educated for the Company Store and dumbed down to the social foundation all around them.
By The Ole Crone The Ole Crone on 04/09/2008 8:29 pm
Lee A. M. Olmstead
I love the internet…the world of information at your fingertips…but I feel alienated talking to machines when I call companies for information that is not included in the options at their web sites. At universitys, students no longer need develop new relationships with the people in their environment because everyone is on a cell phone to people they have known all thier lives…this is tragic. Half the college experience used to occur outside the classroom.
By Lee A. M. Olmstead on 04/10/2008 6:15 am
Diane cardinale
I was born in the early 50’s in Brooklyn NY we had telvision but were limited to what we were allowed to watch. I can remember “NEVER” being bored. I felt there were soooo many things to learn and do…I loved reading and was not forced to do so by my parents. I remember playing hopscotch, stickball, handball, caps, all taking place on the streets or in the park where even at the age of 10 parents never had to worry about theirs kids going out on there own…being out all day till suppertime. We played in the streets when motorists back then were tolerant of children. And children were respectful of motorists. I loved growing up in those years there was honesty, innocence, imagination, humility, respect, loyalty, camaraderie all of which I feel the kids of today lack. Not having everything you need to know at your fingertips of a computer I feel gave alot of us a stronger desire to go out and experience life and learn. Everything I know in this life was learned by experience, trial and error. Not by Google. When I wanted to hang out with my friends I ran to their homes or the park to find them I did’nt call them from a cell phone. It amazes me to see young children under the age of ten with their own cell phones. We all listened to the same transitor radio (not individual ipods) you can’t beat that kind of interaction. I learned the value of “one” dollar not plastic. I wore the same $5.00 sneakers until they had holes maybe that is why I have about 20 pairs now LOL. I guess my point is we were not handed everything on a silver platter. We learned to work for what we wanted. And I must say growing up the way I did and watching the youth of today…..”I WOULDNT TRADE MY CHILDHOOD FOR A MILLION DOLLARS
By Diane cardinale on 04/10/2008 11:23 am
molly boyd
as the mother of a 12yo and 9 yo son and a 7 yo daughter i loved reading both the article and comments posted. amazingly enough, our house does not contain an electronic game system or any electronic handheld devices. Our oldest son knows by now that we are not buying him a cell phone and he has quit asking for one now. i love that these things that “everybody else has” are no longer an issue for our kids or something we even discuss. instead, my husband and i put a lot of effort in spending our money on helping them find their passion and gifts and encouraging those. we spend money on sporting equipment for their teams and anything that can go in the yard or be enjoyed outside….bikes, soccer goals, street hockey equipment, a zipline and a hammock for reading etc. the ironic thing is that we are probably the only house in our neighborhood of kids that DOES NOT have the game system and all the toys you have to plug in and stare at…yet on any given day there are as many as 6 to 8 neighborhood kids “hanging out” over here. Sure, we have the first time friend who you know will walk straight to the playroom and scan the room looking for the wii or xbox and wonder how we have hidden it so well….then before you know it the big kid is playing street hockey or ping pong or enjoying a great pick up game with othe neighborhood kids of flag football or some game they made up. we have recently cut the bottom tree limbs off of a tree in our front yard…all our kids friends know that when they come over they can just hang their backpack on the tree like a little homeade cubby. I smile as i see a yard full of kids playing soccer in the front yard and a tree full of backpacks! i agree that boredom is a good thing for kids to experience. how can they hear their inner voice and realize their hopes and dreams if they are constantly bombarded with so much? how do we teach them to be still and be comfortable in the stillness…knowing that it is a good thing for us? i continue to believe that our children learn our values many times by how we choose to spend our money. our children know that if they ever want to buy a good hardback book, we will pay half the price. we may not have spent $250 for a wii, but spent three to four times that much taking them all out of town for the national storytelling festival for the weekend. we have told them all that if they want the game systems and cell phones etc. they are welcome to save their own money and buy them themselves, but these are not things we are spending our money on…so far they are too busy playing to care about these things still. m in nashville
By molly boyd on 04/11/2008 9:50 am
DB MAC
I think something is going on evolution-wise in the brains of each successive generation, like Mary Wells said. But, it’s hard to put your finger on what exactly it is. People in my generation always used to talk about the generation gap between themselves and their parents; the end of the Victorian era parents vs. baby boomer children. I find I like my children’s perspectives on life, they seem so much more enlightened in general than I was at their age.
By DB MAC on 04/11/2008 2:33 pm
Liz Seger
I’m a product of the early tv era . It used to drive my older brother nuts that I was allowed to watch as much tv as I wanted (exercise for the bad eyes) and he was limitted. Yet I didn’t watch alot of tv , I prefered reading and so never was bored. Becuase with a good book by fourth grade I was reading on a high school level, you could go anywhere and do anything and it was all in your imagination. That’s the one thing young people from their 30s on downward lackm to me anyway -imagination. I remember bringing several pieces of different kinds of music for an art class I was teaching about 20 some years ago. Fourth graders, not my special ed kids and asking them to draw the pictures in their heads they saw while listening to music. They thought I must be using some kind of weird drugs because they never saw pictures in their heads. But then again that was the mtv generation too. The directors and musicians and actors on the videos told them what to see and what the songs meant. I still conjure up images in my head when I hear music, Oh what a Beautiful Morning from Oklahoma!, All that Jazz from Chicago, You’ve got to be taught from South Pacific, Just you Wait Enery Iggins, just you wait from My Fair Lady, Aaron Copeland’s Rodeo, I could go on and on. Oh one other reason I never got bored. If I said I was bored my mum always found something in the housework line for me to do, never my brother though. I’d have to wash and clean out the china cabinet and all her knick knacks or she’d send me to my aunt’s to clean. Needless to say if I was bored and I usually wasn’t by the time I was old enough, I knew not to voice it or I’d be cleaning somewhere. Mum always used to say people who were bored generally were boring people to begin with. Not sure I agree. I think we overschedule kids nowadays and we don’t give them enough down time to dream and just be kids.
By Liz Seger on 04/12/2008 12:04 pm
Beth Cavalli
Like Anne Kreig, I send my son (7 yo) to a waldorf based school here in CA. I and my ex balance the media/movie/plastic world with playmates and I have very few plastic toys. I do find that most homes have wayyyyy toooo much screen time. TV/Computer/XBOX etc. Way to little discussion and talking together. Although I find the LDS religion not my preference, one of my eldest brothers converted and it fits his needs. (I am very thankful that he actually found it!) LDS families have a game for family night where they turn off the TV and spend time together doing whatever the family is really focused on. Outdoor hike, inside games or girls could make jewelry with mom etc. Just spending time together. I try to do that at my home more than one night a week. This was initially tough for me as I was a latch key kid as a child. TV was a escape, but, I have found that my child is calmer and has a greater ability to collect his thoughts and comment/play/be a part of the conversation. I can only see this as a benefit to him as adult. Over stimulation can stunt the imagination, greatly as many studies are telling us each day. Without this imagination or ability to expand our ideas, what will not be created or achieved, what stories not written. TV and the media will always be in digital form for my child to enjoy when he is older. Now is the time to learn how to imagine and create, dream and stretch his mind. The TV and the media can wait…..(well, except for Fred Rogers…) Make believe is never boring! Nor is that picture that you draw or that story you make up or that goal that you score! All with out a screen….TV/computers etc are all tools. They need to be used as such, not as babysitters. It is all about how we look at boring. Art, dance and sport are never boring if you participate! Have your kids or grandkids participate! I was suprised to see Rosie ODonnell on Martha Stewart (tho, I probably should not be…) the other day she also sends her kids to a non-media based school! Her book Crafty U seems to be based on the idea that we should turn off the TV and talk, interact and be withour kids. Seems kind of a simple idea, don’t you think? Art Linkletter found kids to be so entertaining he wrote books and founded TV programs to show us that Kid’s say the darnedest things! Don’t you agree, just listen and you might agree!
By Beth Cavalli on 04/13/2008 1:19 am