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Conversation | 05/28/2008 9:58 am

Liz Smith: Gays Don't Have the Same Rights as People on Death Row

© Shutterstock


Editor’s Note: Featuring Kathleen Jamieson, director of the Annenberg Public Policy Center, a professor of communications and the former dean of the Annenberg School for Communication at the University of Pennsylvania.

LESLEY: This month, the California Supreme Court struck down a ban against homosexual marriage. They say things happen in California first and then spread across the country.

LIZ: But isn’t it likely, Lesley, that this California ruling does not mean very much? That it could be rescinded before we even get used to the idea?

LESLEY: Do you think that if they do put this to a vote that the public will overturn it? Go the other way? Ban homosexual marriages?

LIZ: I don’t know.

LESLEY: Candice, you …

CANDICE: Well, it happened already.

LESLEY: Yeah, that’s right. They voted against it. So we think this could easily be overturned?

LIZ: I think the marriage struggle for gays is going to be a long time coming. But eventually it’ll happen because just as with movements in women’s liberation, a lot of positive things have already taken place. Let’s consider this: A gay woman named Ellen DeGeneres has the most popular talk show in America. She even outstrips Oprah Winfrey. Doesn’t this say something? I think people are really kind of conflicted. Sometimes they’re sneaky and fuzzy when it comes to homosexuality. They go crazy over one demonstration of it, and then they’ll ignore another. And TV and entertainment – now you see they use gays as come-ons, lively examples, for emphasis. They use gay characters the way the movies sort of used the black comic Stepin Fetchit. The networks get a lot of bang for their gay buck.

LESLEY: This is definitely an issue that is generational. No question about it. People under a certain age are ho-hum on this issue. They don’t understand the controversy, and if they come out in large numbers to vote in California, I think that could have a huge effect on how it goes, if it’s put up to a vote this time.

CANDICE: If that’s true, it could also have a huge effect on McCain.

LESLEY: That’s right. What are you picking up on this, Kathleen? Anything?

KATHLEEN: It puts the position that candidates have taken on the Defense of Marriage Act into play in the presidential election. And I think that’s the way we’re going to see it play out. We’re going to see the discussion happen indirectly in relationship to that previous vote, or that previous position.

LESLEY: Are they different?

KATHLEEN: Yeah. The question is, do states have to recognize a marriage from another state or not? That’s one of the issues. And I do believe McCain and Obama are different.

LIZ: Do you remember that a lot of people felt that the Republicans brought up the gay marriage issue and that it helped defeat Al Gore, even though he won the popular vote? So I’m wondering if this was brought up this time to make it an issue again. Or did it just happen?

LESLEY: Well, the Supreme Court of California made the ruling, so it would be hard to see how it was done deliberately to affect the campaign.

LIZ: I had a gay kid say to me the other day, "Men and women on death row can marry people on the outside. They’re allowed to get married. And gays want the same rights as people on death row." I thought that was pretty good thinking.

LESLEY: I didn’t know that. Is that true?

LIZ: Well, women and men on death row are allowed to get married. Sure.

LESLEY: Oh, I see. They’re allowed to get married … not to each other.

226 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Kay Sara
It is absurd that any rights afforded to U.S. citizens in good standing should be denied to some U.S. citizens also in good standing.
By Kay Sara on 05/31/2008 4:19 am
Frannie Em
Kay Sara Hi Kiddo, good to hear from you. I have missed you. Hey, my son should be home in the US soon and I a so happy. I haven’t gotten too excited yet because on other deployments there were many last minute changes. I agree with the absurdity of the rights issue.
By Frannie Em on 06/01/2008 7:02 pm
Bonnie Oliver
Chef Zee - I fear we were talking at cross purposes. When I commented in my first blog that the word or rather the defnition of the word ‘marriage’ is what is being discussed and soon to be voted on in California, I perhaps did not make myself clear. I did not in any way mean to criticize a lifestyle or demean a sector of people. Your rights and my rights should be identical. I think we agree. Right? May I ask a question? Do you consider it discriminatory if the word “marriage” is applied only to heterosexual couples? And it is a question of a single word. All spousal rights are afforded to a gay couple just as to a heterosexual couple in this State. And what if a heterosexual, for whatever reason….religious, etc., believes that the definition of a word connotates the type of union. Currently, in California a gay union is defined legally as a partnership. I believe in words. I like words to have definitions. I hate the fact that the English language has been so uni-sexed that often times another sentence is required to clearly state a point. For example, the word actress is disappearing in favor of the more uni-sex word of simply actor. As for the word marriage, I admit that I am ambivalent. However, there is no conflict about equality of rights for everyone…. every single one of us. Thanks for your post. I hope you will answer this blog. And you write very well, too.
By Bonnie Oliver on 05/29/2008 9:39 pm
Chef Zee
Bonnie: I’m sorry not to have gotten back to you sooner. I just found this post moments ago. Truth be told, I’ve been feeling a little troubled because of the way we are reading each other’s posts. If you feel I came at you too hard, I apologize. I guess when one’s skin is worn thin and sore from a lifetime of fighting even a hug can be painful. Re: the word marriage. I certainly respect the sanctity and all that lies behind the word, and that’s just the point. I feel, according to the history of my own 33 year+ devoted, monogamous , loving relationship we deserve no less. No less respect, no less legal recognition, no less enfranchisement. I do not wish to seen as variegated. I do not want to go into a Doctor’s office, for instance, and check a box that says domestic partnership. Right away I’m labeled. And unfortunately, as things still stand today, the label holds negative connotations. Although I am willing to stand up and fight in a forum where my anonymity is assured, I believe I mentioned previously, PGTL and I are for the most part closeted. It has been necessary at times, as I am covered under her health insurance plan, to explain to medical personal who and what I am under this “benefit” allowed us. Too often it has been humiliating and handled in the most mean-spirited way. I could go on with a lifetime of experiences to explain my position, but I’m sure you get the point. Maybe when groups no longer need to be identified as hyphenated, i.e. gay-american, Afro-american, Italian-american, whatever - when the minds and the hearts of the world can see beyond the label, I will walk free and proud no matter what classifying phrase is given to my life. Thanks for your sincere interest in thoughts. Sorry we got off on the wrong foot.
By Chef Zee on 05/31/2008 12:39 pm
Bonnie Oliver
Chef Zee - I came back to this comment hoping you would answer. I am glad you did. I think we both were at fault for our rocky conversation in the beginning. There is no way I would be able to identify with your struggle and that of your partner, or shall I say spouse? There have been a few occasions in my life when I was in the minority either due to sex or beliefs….but I have never experienced some of the disdain I think you have had to endure. It is not right. My only thought is that it takes time. Lots of time. People are generally good hearted folks and I think that as long as they feel safe in their own lifestyle then they will be ready to vote legislation that improves those of the minority. It is unfair that there is a necessity for legislation to make us all equal but therein is the story of mankind and laws. I don’t know any other way to change people’s misguided beliefs except one person at a time. Stay positive….. You and your spouse have a loving relationship and that is what is important.
By Bonnie Oliver on 05/31/2008 5:27 pm
mary lou s
bonnie, you say:”No “rights” are in dispute.” how would you feel if all your marriage rights were subject to mediation and decision by opponents? remember that there is a lot more to marriage than sleeping together. if your significant other were in a traffic accident, could you get to see him/her in the hospital? did you file taxes together? are you earning a pension or receiving health insurance together? what happens to your home if one of you dies?
By mary lou s on 05/28/2008 8:05 pm
Bonnie Oliver
Mary Lou, You are not familiar with the Domestic Partnership Agreement in California which, from what I understand, grants all the State rights that a heterosexual person has to a gay person. I am not against the law. I support it. My question has only to do with the word “marriage”. As for filing federal taxes, that will require a federal statute and California by itself cannot accommodate that right. However, if you can get your member of Congress to draft legislation, I will write to mine to support it.
By Bonnie Oliver on 05/28/2008 8:29 pm
mary lou s
thank you, bonnie. my member of congress, john dingell, does not seem well disposed to change legislation about marriage rights. his predecessor from before the gerrymander might have.
By mary lou s on 05/28/2008 8:36 pm
Frank Peterson
Zee-just finally got around to reading this: WOW! you are an amazing incredible woman and writer. This just knocked my socks off. It’s beautiful and your love for your partner shines though. This was no tantrum, Zee, this is truth, and I thank and admire and applaud you for your life and your love and this post. Both of you deserve to be married and live your lives together and how you see fit without fear from the assholes of this world Why shouldn’t you be married. It’s ridiculous that you aren’t. And it’s damned criminal that you aren’t. You raised and monitored 13 kids. That’s so wonderful. Both your lives are so incredibly wonderful and fulfilling. I’m so proud to be able to write this to you and tell all that’s in my heart. I wish I knew you personally and could have a beer or a glass of wine and sit there and let you tell me your life with you partner. And be your friend for the rest of my life. She shouldn’t have to live her life closeted. That’s a shame on this country of mine. Screw the pat on the head, the lolly and the idiot reality of the politico-religiousness in this country. Keep fighting, and don’t stop. There’s an old Latin phrase that goes something like this: Illegitamati non carborundum: don’t let the bastards grind you down. F*** them: live the life you want and love the way with whom you want. Don’t let any bastard stand in your way. It’ s a pleasure to know you, Zee, and about you. Peace and love from a old man.
By Frank Peterson on 05/29/2008 7:06 am
Chef Zee
Frank: Your kind words and support mean the world to me. “Illegitamati non carborundum,” I love it! Yet it is not the bastards who worry me. It is the decent people of this world, who spew venom, and hate, and prejudice, because of what they were taught to believe. It is the closed mind that is my enemy, the concept that it is okay to judge what you don’t understand. You, and many others on this site, who have spoken out in our defense are so appreciated - and valued. Thomas Jefferson wrote: “All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent. Thank God for Wowowow’s noisy group! P.S. Frank, I would be honored to be your friend. However, I’m a professional restauranteur. I’d much rather have dinner with you than a beer.
By Chef Zee on 05/29/2008 9:57 am
Chef Zee
Sorry, I meant pre-Stonewall.
By Chef Zee on 06/01/2008 2:23 pm
Lorraine Bates
I feel the government should get out of the marriage business alltogether. Marriage is a religious convention, not a societal one. States are, in actuality, issuing civil union licenses, not marriage licenses. Marriage is a sacrament, not a contract. States can’t sanction or regulate sacraments. If they could, divorce would be illegal, no? In that case, there should be no objection to gays having the same rights as heterosexuals - a civil union, bound by society’s laws and regulations.
By Lorraine Bates on 05/28/2008 11:58 am
Mugsy Peabody
Actually, this is more what I as an individual have always thought the right way. Marriage is a contract of property ownership, just as the indenture was, just as the slavehold was. Those social forms are archaic and this as well as a “governed” form should not exist.
By Mugsy Peabody on 05/29/2008 4:15 pm
Teresa Proctor
In my mind, one of the messages that Jesus tried to convey was equality and compassion for all. Unfortunately at the time many did not hear this and many to this day, do not hear this message still. Jesus did not sit in judgement, he healed on the Sabbath and he did not discriminate in his healings. This question always comes back to the Bible, which may I add has been rewritten numerous times, by people who have all had their own agenda’s at work (Ego). Jesus never said anything regarding treating Women as second class citizens and yet this has continued for over 2000 years. Homosexuality has existed since the beginning of time and still I do not believe that a loving compassionate Higher Power/God would ever condemn someone that he has created in his own image. I am curious what is it going to take for human beings to stop judging each other and living in a state of fear and to starting understanding that every single person on this planet desires the same thing. “Love” Honestly, do we not have more important issues to address, children starving, Violence against Women, children and the elderly, disease, lack of education, lack of respect for our planet, etc.
By Teresa Proctor on 05/28/2008 12:21 pm
Dona Howlett
When I was a girl growing up, people believed that you waited until marriage for sex……. Now people have affairs, produce children without the thought of marriage. Why is it wrong for a gay person to want the same rights? Homosexuality is normal……why is it wrong? If you took every word of the Bible as fact the world would be more a mess than we are. The Bible is a book written by men hundreds of years ago. Perhaps inspired by man…….but definitely not the “Word of God”. I hope the vote in California does not get over turned. We are a progressive State and I hope we can lead in this matter.
By Dona Howlett on 05/28/2008 12:47 pm