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Conversation | 05/15/2008 12:17 pm

Mary Wells: 'Birthdays Are Bad for Your Health'

© Shutterstock


JOAN: Does your definition of beauty change as you do?

MARLO: Yes, I think you change your mind about beauty as you change. When I was younger I didn’t think older women were that pretty. Now I think they’re gorgeous. You start to say, “Now wait a minute … you know, this woman is beautiful. And I look good.”

MARY: Don’t you think, also, that styles have changed in that what is beautiful used to be just — pretty?

MARLO: We still have 15-year-olds on the covers of magazines.

MARY: There’s the most beautiful cover on one of these film magazines of Meryl Streep without any makeup, looking so absolutely beautiful. That natural look, when you’re 50, has become really kind of —

MARLO: That’s because you’re 50. I don’t know that the 20-year-olds are thinking it’s beautiful.

MARY: Well, there are more of us.

MARLO: Well, that’s always good.

LILY: When I was a child, our mothers — unless they were in another circle, a social circle — my mother never exercised.

MARLO: No. Right.

LILY: Women didn’t even drive. They just were not physical people. As times have gone on, consciousness has been raised and women came more into their own; they realized that they could be athletic and physical and dynamic and all kinds of things. Women were very old at 50, in the old days.

MARLO: They did housework.

LILY: I’m not saying they didn’t work and do plenty of —

MARLO: It’s also about taking control of your health, that you could take care of your heart and your bones and you don’t have to just be dependent on what a doctor says, who, most of the time, doesn’t know anything about nutrition.

MARY: But don’t you often think what beauty is today also is much more ethnically diverse, because we’re living with people from all parts of the world now, so that your idea of what is beautiful has stretched and —

LILY: When I was a teenager the beauty standard was Marilyn Monroe or Kim Novak – very curvaceous. I used to pad my hips, literally, when I was an adolescent – 13, 14 years old – because I had such straight hips. Skirts had extra material in them for that.

MARLO: Oh, that’s awful. And they were all blond. They were all blond.

LILY: I got a lot of mileage out of padding those hips.

MARY: If you look at those underfed models that scare me to death, that are obviously going to die tomorrow … but they are from all different countries and they’re —

JOAN: Mainly Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia.

MARY: Now, yes. They go through different periods — and they’re gorgeous. They’re all so different. It’s not like they were all just stamped out of the machine. And they’re so wonderfully different looking.

JOAN: As you age, your focus changes. You stop focusing quite so much on yourself.

MARLO: Or you’ve accepted how you look and realize that there’s beauty in it.

JOAN: When my first novel came out, a fashion photographer agreed to take my picture for publicity. I went to his studio and sat in the makeup chair while the makeup lady worked on me, looking exhausted because I had just finished three years on the book. And there was a model sitting on my left, who was maybe 17 years old. I was 33. And she kept glancing at me and glancing at me. And finally she said, very timidly, “Do you get much work?”

MARLO: That’s hysterical.

Read more about: Aging, Beauty

110 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

phyllis Doyle Pepe
BEAUTY There she was on “Entertainment Tonight.” Someone had caught a glimpse of Bardot after all these years. Brigitte Bardot running through the trees, across a meadow, a dog running with her. The hair still long. Then another part, showing her on the patio, aged. (Sun-damaged, we say) The violation of beauty never happens just once. When my father heard that his beloved dog had chased and killed the rancher’s sheep, he went right out and shot it. Because, he said, once they ran with the pack and tasted blood it would never stop. ––Linda Gregg
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 05/15/2008 9:47 am
Maurine H
Heavy hair? No birthdays after 60? You wOw ladies, so accomplished -role models for the rest of us- you really worry about that nonsense? My formerly huge curly hair is thinning as my waistline thickens, but from where I sit every birthday after 60 is gift in itself - to be celebrated to the max! It means that I get to hear all about my grandson’s trek in the Himalayas, I get to experiment with a new art medium, I can share a whoop of joy with my daughter whose latest CT scan shows that the tumors in her lungs have shrunk, I can walk a couple of miles along the river or in the woods, I’m able to read stacks of good books (OK, with bifocals), and I can drive 600 miles and still stand up straight when I get out of the car. As long as my heart is thumping and I’m still ornery I’ll happily celebrate each and every birthday. Number 68 is coming up and I’m ready!
By Maurine H on 05/15/2008 10:11 am
Deni G
Maurine, I am 61. And when I am 68, I wanna be just as great as you are.
By Deni G on 05/15/2008 10:52 am
Maurine H
Many thanks, funny Deni
By Maurine H on 05/15/2008 11:57 am
Frank Peterson
Deni, you great now. Trust me. :-)
By Frank Peterson on 05/15/2008 1:43 pm
Deni G
awww…thanks, Frank!
By Deni G on 05/15/2008 5:19 pm
Mugsy Peabody
I think it is a product of being raised with an extended family in a small town so that I was close to people of all ages and stages of being. In my 20s I was a little knock-out and clothes horse and weighed in just over anorexic; and the boys and girls followed me home. In my 30s I settled down, and never gave a care to my looks. Weight was taken care of between tennis and volley ball and endless hikes and such. My hair was a lovely auburn, and my eyes laughed. Then I was attacked by a crazy on PCP and my whole world changed. But nothing ever changed the interior glen. I alwyas knew I was a child of the universe, and no matter what happened to me on earth, I was a child of the heavens. I still know that. Always, when I look at pictures of me 10-15 years ago, I’m astonished at how great-looking I was, except the light was gone from my eyes, replaced by a deep sadness. Now, at 61, the light is back. And eat your hearts out, ladies, I have one gray hair. (Genetic. Mom had salt and pepper at 84.) People still try to pick me up in Whole Foods or at the gym, though the lord only knows why. I think part of it is that I know I have a finite time to live, and I’m not worried about tht. The planet won’t tumble off is axis when I go. Or any of us, for tht matter. So what concerns me is today. I was told recently one thing that people love about me is that I’m always reaching out, always trying to connect. It’s a life-long habit of, as they said about Willa Cather, “being more interested in people than they are in themselves.” I actually rarely think about whether I’m beautiful. I think about whether others are. So drink your water, take your walks, get enough sleep, meditate, eat as well as you can possibly afford, connect with people, and always always always turn your face toward the light.
By Mugsy Peabody on 05/15/2008 4:47 pm
Mugsy Peabody
Scuze the typos, Ladies, it’s 97 degrees here in Oakland, and we Bay Area types don’t do well with that kind of heat. I meant to say it was being raised among all sorts of folks and different ages close to me that I just figure each stage is as it should be, and, as my friend Leila said, “Every dog has its day.” I know it’s just the natural order of things, and I don’t fight nature. I think the true beauty comes in self-acceptance.
By Mugsy Peabody on 05/15/2008 4:53 pm
Deni G
That is so stunning, Mugsy. I loved this sentence!: “In my 20s I was a little knock-out and clothes horse and weighed in just over anorexic; and the boys and girls followed me home.”
By Deni G on 05/15/2008 5:13 pm
Maurine H
Mugsy - ONE gray hair? Well, friend, I’ve got you beat. I have NO gray hairs —-but we won’t talk about how I accomplished that little feat.
By Maurine H on 05/15/2008 9:24 pm
Mugsy Peabody
I can take no credit for the hair thing — my brothers all have the most georgeous iron gray hair… luck of the draw genetically.
By Mugsy Peabody on 05/15/2008 9:31 pm
C A Rose
Maurine, I don’t have any grey hair either. I think blondes just get a bit ashen…a good weave of platinum and copper help brighten up my face.
By C A Rose on 05/17/2008 3:17 am
Frannie Em
Mugsy, Thanks for that. I am so jealous of your hair, and it sounds like the wowowow women would be as well.
By Frannie Em on 05/18/2008 4:34 pm
Maurine H
Yea! for you , Lily! Welcome to my decade!
By Maurine H on 05/15/2008 9:18 pm
Agyness O
Maurine: So well put and ditto, ditto, ditto. I will be celebarting 68 in a few months as well. I am trying to be the best that I can be physically, mentally and emotionally and trying to live in the ” now “so that I don’t miss a moment of it. I don’t look too bad but more than that, think that age is nothing more than a state of mind. Pure and simple. I am wishing all of you girls on WOW the very best and would appreciate the same. Kuddos to all….
By Agyness O on 05/18/2008 4:23 pm