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Conversation | 05/15/2008 12:17 pm

Mary Wells: 'Birthdays Are Bad for Your Health'

© Shutterstock


JOAN: Does your definition of beauty change as you do?

MARLO: Yes, I think you change your mind about beauty as you change. When I was younger I didn’t think older women were that pretty. Now I think they’re gorgeous. You start to say, “Now wait a minute … you know, this woman is beautiful. And I look good.”

MARY: Don’t you think, also, that styles have changed in that what is beautiful used to be just — pretty?

MARLO: We still have 15-year-olds on the covers of magazines.

MARY: There’s the most beautiful cover on one of these film magazines of Meryl Streep without any makeup, looking so absolutely beautiful. That natural look, when you’re 50, has become really kind of —

MARLO: That’s because you’re 50. I don’t know that the 20-year-olds are thinking it’s beautiful.

MARY: Well, there are more of us.

MARLO: Well, that’s always good.

LILY: When I was a child, our mothers — unless they were in another circle, a social circle — my mother never exercised.

MARLO: No. Right.

LILY: Women didn’t even drive. They just were not physical people. As times have gone on, consciousness has been raised and women came more into their own; they realized that they could be athletic and physical and dynamic and all kinds of things. Women were very old at 50, in the old days.

MARLO: They did housework.

LILY: I’m not saying they didn’t work and do plenty of —

MARLO: It’s also about taking control of your health, that you could take care of your heart and your bones and you don’t have to just be dependent on what a doctor says, who, most of the time, doesn’t know anything about nutrition.

MARY: But don’t you often think what beauty is today also is much more ethnically diverse, because we’re living with people from all parts of the world now, so that your idea of what is beautiful has stretched and —

LILY: When I was a teenager the beauty standard was Marilyn Monroe or Kim Novak – very curvaceous. I used to pad my hips, literally, when I was an adolescent – 13, 14 years old – because I had such straight hips. Skirts had extra material in them for that.

MARLO: Oh, that’s awful. And they were all blond. They were all blond.

LILY: I got a lot of mileage out of padding those hips.

MARY: If you look at those underfed models that scare me to death, that are obviously going to die tomorrow … but they are from all different countries and they’re —

JOAN: Mainly Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia.

MARY: Now, yes. They go through different periods — and they’re gorgeous. They’re all so different. It’s not like they were all just stamped out of the machine. And they’re so wonderfully different looking.

JOAN: As you age, your focus changes. You stop focusing quite so much on yourself.

MARLO: Or you’ve accepted how you look and realize that there’s beauty in it.

JOAN: When my first novel came out, a fashion photographer agreed to take my picture for publicity. I went to his studio and sat in the makeup chair while the makeup lady worked on me, looking exhausted because I had just finished three years on the book. And there was a model sitting on my left, who was maybe 17 years old. I was 33. And she kept glancing at me and glancing at me. And finally she said, very timidly, “Do you get much work?”

MARLO: That’s hysterical.

Read more about: Aging, Beauty

110 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Deni G
Lily~”Women were very old at 50, in the old days.” I thought this was very interesting.
By Deni G on 05/15/2008 10:27 am
Mugsy Peabody
I remember this as well. It was how hard they worked, physically. The farm women all looked “rode hard and put away wet” by 50, and many died in their 60s. It astonishes me how young so many of my friends look. And good grief, Lily! 68? You are lying, right?
By Mugsy Peabody on 05/15/2008 5:50 pm
My Two Cents
My idea of beauty has changed over the years. When I was a small child I watched Lorretta Young on TV and thought she was beautiful. Mature women ( I hate the term “older” I always want to say older than what ?)have more depth to them, they are more interesting,more self assured. I have watched Marlo,Candice,Barbara Walters and Sally Field for years, I love to watch them as much or more now. Our society values flawless, young, perfect beauty,which isn’t realistic.I applaude Dove for using real women as models showing women that beauty doesn’t mean Hollywood glamour ! I worked with a young woman that thought anyone over 40 was ancient and I used to tell her someday she would be “old”. Sadly she died of colon cancer before she was 30. There are worse things than getting old. JB I love your attitude !
By My Two Cents on 05/15/2008 11:33 am
Carla Altland
Birthdays are fun and NOT bad for your health>> wake up women of the world and wow>> Celabrate every birthday to the fullest and enjoy your age whatever it is! As we age we get wiser , I hope ! Wisdom gives beauty and grace . As I turn 55 next wed[ 21st] I want the balloons, perfume, make up , cake , ice cream and all the thing I so richly deserve! But if I do not get those , I would much rather have some of the great conversations with other wonderful and beautiful woman that I call friends. It is worth every minute of this life to get older and more beautiful all the time.. Do not think that being in your fifties or sixties , that you life is over Never give in to that garbage!! Stay healthy not only in the physical areana by doing everything you can , but stay active in your mind and spirit and emotions too.. live you life as full as you can always!
By Carla Altland on 05/15/2008 11:45 am
Carla Altland
Celebrate,women , things,yours>>correcting my misspellings.. too much in a hurry
By Carla Altland on 05/15/2008 11:50 am
theCHEROKEErose
birthdays’..to me that was just the day of the particular year i was born…my whole life i never paid much attention to it, got less and less ‘meaningful’ as i passed 40 and 50…i have earned every year that i am…go back and live it again in this incarnation…i dont think so….i have truly gotten to where i can enjoy my life as ‘me’..dont worry about men looking/not looking..dont worry about what others think i ‘look’ like…just enjoying life!!!
By theCHEROKEErose on 05/15/2008 12:09 pm
kermie b
When I turned 50, I chose (vehemently) to ignore future birthdays. So last year, for 51, my sister sent me an Arbor Day card with good wishes. I like to think she is glad her baby sister was born (and I climbed a lot of trees when I was a kid). I don’t like thinking about birthdays—but my real friends know how to get around that. Birthdays, to me, are for knowing how kind my friends are.
By kermie b on 05/15/2008 12:33 pm
Alessan O
I never liked birthdays after age 25, I still don’t like getting old, or should I say looking old. Some people can’t guess my age, but I do think I am finally starting to look old, there’s something about my face, I’ve been overweight for a while so that doesn’t help. I want to be 18 again.
By Alessan O on 05/15/2008 12:34 pm
Pat Hammond
I love being almost 60. I’ve quit using makeup daily. My hair is gray. I rarely use lipstick. I’m a grandma. This is so cool!
By Pat Hammond on 05/15/2008 12:40 pm
kermie b
There was a time period (too short) when folks could not tell how old I was, or said I didn’t look my age. Then the comments stopped. Why did that bother me so much? Do I really need their “approval”? Well, yes, sometimes. Women my own age know not to value grey hairs over more substantive issues (like menopause). Women are the best at making each other feel better. That is my unbiased opinion.
By kermie b on 05/15/2008 12:47 pm
Frank Peterson
What do birthdays really matter in the end? If you live fully who cares about the wrinkles.
By Frank Peterson on 05/15/2008 1:13 pm
Deni G
That’s true, Frank. When I am living fully, I don’t care about a whole slew of things, including how I look. When I’m not, I obsess about everything.
By Deni G on 05/15/2008 3:16 pm
Christina
Here’s a tiny thought: What would you rather drink - a young or a mature wine?
By Christina on 05/15/2008 1:27 pm
Pamela Munro
That makes me think of a scurrilous quote from Ben Franklin, of all people. He recommended older women as mistresses, “because they are so grateful”! I would add that they know what they are doing, too.
By Pamela Munro on 05/15/2008 1:31 pm
Amelie Poulain
Ah yes. Like a fine wine, one only gets better with age!
By Amelie Poulain on 05/15/2008 1:40 pm