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Conversation | 05/15/2008 12:17 pm

Mary Wells: 'Birthdays Are Bad for Your Health'

© Shutterstock


JOAN: Does your definition of beauty change as you do?

MARLO: Yes, I think you change your mind about beauty as you change. When I was younger I didn’t think older women were that pretty. Now I think they’re gorgeous. You start to say, “Now wait a minute … you know, this woman is beautiful. And I look good.”

MARY: Don’t you think, also, that styles have changed in that what is beautiful used to be just — pretty?

MARLO: We still have 15-year-olds on the covers of magazines.

MARY: There’s the most beautiful cover on one of these film magazines of Meryl Streep without any makeup, looking so absolutely beautiful. That natural look, when you’re 50, has become really kind of —

MARLO: That’s because you’re 50. I don’t know that the 20-year-olds are thinking it’s beautiful.

MARY: Well, there are more of us.

MARLO: Well, that’s always good.

LILY: When I was a child, our mothers — unless they were in another circle, a social circle — my mother never exercised.

MARLO: No. Right.

LILY: Women didn’t even drive. They just were not physical people. As times have gone on, consciousness has been raised and women came more into their own; they realized that they could be athletic and physical and dynamic and all kinds of things. Women were very old at 50, in the old days.

MARLO: They did housework.

LILY: I’m not saying they didn’t work and do plenty of —

MARLO: It’s also about taking control of your health, that you could take care of your heart and your bones and you don’t have to just be dependent on what a doctor says, who, most of the time, doesn’t know anything about nutrition.

MARY: But don’t you often think what beauty is today also is much more ethnically diverse, because we’re living with people from all parts of the world now, so that your idea of what is beautiful has stretched and —

LILY: When I was a teenager the beauty standard was Marilyn Monroe or Kim Novak – very curvaceous. I used to pad my hips, literally, when I was an adolescent – 13, 14 years old – because I had such straight hips. Skirts had extra material in them for that.

MARLO: Oh, that’s awful. And they were all blond. They were all blond.

LILY: I got a lot of mileage out of padding those hips.

MARY: If you look at those underfed models that scare me to death, that are obviously going to die tomorrow … but they are from all different countries and they’re —

JOAN: Mainly Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia.

MARY: Now, yes. They go through different periods — and they’re gorgeous. They’re all so different. It’s not like they were all just stamped out of the machine. And they’re so wonderfully different looking.

JOAN: As you age, your focus changes. You stop focusing quite so much on yourself.

MARLO: Or you’ve accepted how you look and realize that there’s beauty in it.

JOAN: When my first novel came out, a fashion photographer agreed to take my picture for publicity. I went to his studio and sat in the makeup chair while the makeup lady worked on me, looking exhausted because I had just finished three years on the book. And there was a model sitting on my left, who was maybe 17 years old. I was 33. And she kept glancing at me and glancing at me. And finally she said, very timidly, “Do you get much work?”

MARLO: That’s hysterical.

Read more about: Aging, Beauty

110 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Frank Peterson
Christina, a young wine can be fresh, perky, devil-may-care, and a mature wine: rich, but with experience and mellowness. There are times I need both because I feel both all of the time. A good mix for me, that. :-)
By Frank Peterson on 05/15/2008 5:37 pm
Christina
Hey Frank - Variety is the spice of life…. Right?! ;-)
By Christina on 05/16/2008 3:12 pm
Pamela Munro
Forgive me for multiple posts, my computer isn’t cooperating…
By Pamela Munro on 05/15/2008 1:33 pm
Jennifer Daley
Thank God for Spanx!!!
By Jennifer Daley on 05/15/2008 1:34 pm
Pamela Munro
Contrary to the media’s slant, being very pretty can be a problem to deal with, too. Too many young women neglect their education and even growth and devote themselves to Venus - who is a fickle goddess. It’s also true that being clever helps you manage to age better. The famous beauties of the past weren’t dummies! I often look to historical examples to counteract the media’s obcession with vapid teenagers - and to reassure myself that many variations of body types have been in fashion over the centuries. Right now there are reproductions of a Boucher and a Rubens hanging in my bathroom to reassure me subtly on a daily basis that curves do work. We can’t hold on to the good looks of our youth without looking, for the most part, weird. (I am glad that Cher seems to have grown into her new face.) And things that look good on camera can be hideous in person - the new Hi Def TVs are bringing out that secret. With good lighting, wardrobe and make up and Photoshop - we can all look splendid!
By Pamela Munro on 05/15/2008 1:40 pm
Amelie Poulain
One year I was at a fab party at the Toronto Film Festival with my assistant. She was chatting to a newly successful 19 yr old boy who was also there celebrating his film. My assistant introduced me to him, and then wanted to get a picture of me and him together. He wrinkled up his nose and said, “no!” When she asked why not, he said because “she’s old.” (referring to my 43 years.) This was the first time anyone had pointed out to me that I was old. And what a venue to do it in. I was incensed and walked away. He ran after me and apologized but it was soooo too late. I told him he was a loose cannon and that I would never seek to hire him for any films I did in the future because it just wasn’t worth having him offend someone powerful enough impact the film’s sales. I told him to look around the room carefully, and then think about the fact that not one single person in that room was there because of their AGE, but because they chosen, invited, and were celebrating some grand film-related accomplishment. He was about 2 ft. tall when I stomped away. I hope he got it because it was very hurtful, and I think he was lucky that it was just me.
By Amelie Poulain on 05/15/2008 1:55 pm
Brenda Lee
When going through old photos of myself after my mother died..I realized that I had been pretty!!! What a shock. I always thought of myself a plain and ordinary and plump. A few years ago I gave my size 2 daughter a couple of my fancy dresses from when I was her age..and they were too small for her!! I guess I was thin too. they were a size 8 back then. Since I wasn’t thin and I wasn’t pretty back then, I haven’t cared much about looks since I was 35. Now I’m mad. Why didn’t someone tell me I was pretty and thin? Brenda
By Brenda Lee on 05/15/2008 2:08 pm
Dona Howlett
Age……I love every year, I just want them to keep coming as long as possible. I’ve always been told that I’m pretty. I feel pretty……. I also look about 14 years younger than my real age. (which will be 76 on June 3rd) I love looking young, but it’s ok to have some wrinkles and grey hair, which I sure have. As the old saying goes “Pretty is as pretty does”. I try to keep abreast of the World around me and up to date on all things new. Thinking YOUNG keeps you young. I’ll be 76 and hope to have many more birthdays hopefully into my 90’s. I will celebrate them gladly.
By Dona Howlett on 05/15/2008 2:20 pm
Frannie Em
Dona Thanks for that.
By Frannie Em on 05/18/2008 4:48 pm
Karen Batchelor
You bet! When I was young, my definition of beauty was looking like the girls who the guys thought were pretty. Then my view of beauty was based on the women I saw in magazines who supposedly were “beautiful” because they were on the newstand. Now my definition of beauty isn’t about being pretty but about being authentic. I love my smile, the laugh lines, the short hair which of course are nothing until combined with my true self-image that has emerged from where it was hidden under my perceptions of what beauty was supposed to me. Now at 56 years old, I know what beauty looks like. It looks like me.
By Karen Batchelor on 05/15/2008 2:41 pm
Jenny Oops
You are absolutely right, Karen. Can see from you pic — you ARE beautiful.
By Jenny Oops on 05/17/2008 4:23 am
Frannie Em
Karen, And your picture proves it. What a great shot.
By Frannie Em on 05/18/2008 4:51 pm
Lena B
It is universal in every culture that a physically attractive person with a hateful personality IS UGLY. I thank God that I was blessed with attractive features. But thanks to being raised by a parents who emphasized character and integrity, I grew to understand that real beauty comes from being a loving person. As I approach my 45th year, I’m grateful to be alive. I see a different woman in the mirror and that’s okay.
By Lena B on 05/15/2008 3:13 pm
Mugsy Peabody
Yeah, Lena, like the ole song, “God don’t like ugly…..”
By Mugsy Peabody on 05/15/2008 9:37 pm
Frannie Em
Lena Thank God for parents like that.
By Frannie Em on 05/18/2008 4:58 pm