I usually have no problem sharing my personal space except in supermarkets. I can’t stand when I’m at the cash register and paying my bill and the person behind me comes up so close that I can touch them. I have been known to tell them to step back.

Frankly, gals, when we are in public - in the city crowds and in what I call “mass transit” , emphasizing “MASS” these days where intrusions on our space often comes with the sheer bulk of some people hanging too close - we have to agree that this IS life in the present. We may not like, but we have to accept or we ruin our own day in so doing. More often than not, we have no control. But AH! there is a great difference at home — or, let’s say, there can be. As a writer, I need my own space to pour out my thoughts and it has to be private and the setting just right. My own room is in shades of the yellow of the sun, and the door closes tightly. Surrounding me of my personal treasures - most reminding me of a certain time, a certain person that mades me smile. Lots of glass, books that have left lasting memories, a chaise lounge (eat your heart out!), and the computer front and center on a wall filled with paintings and photos that are the essence of me. My hideaway, my dream world where I am never disturbed makes forays into the world beyond more than tolerable. It is all on how you look at life to be honest. When out, it is sometimes a chance encounter that has opened my world, given me grist for the writing mill, and hopefully, an opportunity to add to another’s life. As to the latter, isn’t that what life should be anyhow - giving??

Joan…my kind of woman! I once had an acting teacher who was into identifying your aura; a boundary of sorts which surrounds you, through which people can pass only with permission (otherwise you feel vulnerable, open to attack). I don’t know if you are born with this or whether the radius of it fluctuates with time and conditioning, but I knew the minute she told me that mine extended about 3 feet in all directions, she had defined something about me that I had long suspected. I came to see this as my own radar for how I feel about someone or how someone feels about me or how how big of a threat they might pose. I’ve always been a loner, which is funny because most people see me as gregarious and fun and they tend to gravitate towards me. I love that, but only for a while. Then I want to go back to my cave and close the door and think my own thoughts and be in own little world, sans distraction. I grew up with 2 brothers and later a sister. My father was in the military and we moved quite a bit. My brothers and I weren’t close and my mother was mostly concerned with them and my father so I learned to fend for myself. Consequently, I am never bored and have embraced the loner life. Its sometimes a huge strain (not to mention drain) to be around other people, especially when you don’t choose them. I quit a $100K job because I simply could not be in proximity to a co-worker who was on the phone all the time…it really upset my equilibrium. It’s nice to be with your friends, but only for a limited time. Not ever having had a husband or children has been a good choice for me. I would not have been happy if there were always someone else around, especially if I had to deal with them all the time. I’ve recently come to live with my 81 year old mother and I’m finding it difficult to have someone else in my space and having to acknowlege them several times a day. I’m sure this seems unnatural to some but I’ve learned that being who you are is just fine…even if no one understands it but you. And…I think I have finally found the at-home job I’ve been looking for and the perfect place to do it…surrounded by 8 acres of trees and grass. Now if I could just get my mother to stop telling me about her soaps…!

LOL! LaRue, I have a friend who solved that problem with her mother by getting her a life size cut-out of George Straight. She thinks he’s a nice man and just loves to listen to her and unlike most men. He doesn’t talk back. I applaud you for looking out for your mother.

I love people & conversation. My personal space is invaded when someone stands directly in front of me. I can’t breath - Back up and we can talk about almost anything. Raised with three siblings have taught me how to zone out interference and I’m just as comfortable being alone. I actually enjoy the state of silence. My only-child husband is just shy of requiring an announcement upon your approach. He is undeniable a loner. It is definitely something to get use to, especially for children.

I love Joan’s idea for the movie theatre to start coughing……haha! I get very uncomfortable having to share my armrest with strangers. I will find a drive-in movie to watch my film of choice rather than sitting in a theatre if possible. Is it an age thing? I am getting worse about it as I get older. If I have to go to a theatre I try to be just a tad late and find some seats that are off to themselves with no one close by. There must be a phobia name for this…LOL Thanks for sharing this conversation…I thoroughly enjoyed.