Sign in to wowOwow

Enter the email address that you used when registering at wowOwow.
The password field is case sensitive. Click here if you have forgotten your password.

Please register for wowOwow

Newsletter subscriptions
Sign up to receive wowOwow's weekly newsletter and get our best picks delivered right to your inbox. Our newsletter content is hand-picked by the wowOwow editorial team and provides the top features, news, and commentary from our site. Subscribing to our newsletter is free and safe. We will never share your email or other information with a third-party without your direct consent.
By registering, you indicate that you have read and agree
with our privacy policy and terms of service.

Q & A | 07/08/2008 12:00 am

The Unhappy Would-Be First Ladies

© Shutterstock

Get the Flash Player to view this video.
Editor’s Note: Gail Collins is a columnist for The New York Times. To listen in on her conversation with Lesley Stahl, click the play button above.

LESLEY: Can we talk about First Ladies? I’ve covered the White House for so many years, and I have had just nothing but sympathy for these women who take on this strange, unelected role. And they live in terror of making a mistake. And if any of them ever tried to influence policy they got smacked around. If one hair is out of place, my God the world was coming to an end. And now you have Cindy McCain and Michelle Obama as candidates, both running as First Lady candidates. If you were to write a column giving them advice, what would you tell each of them?

It's really only been since Jackie Kennedy that there's been this idea that the family life of the president is such a central thing.

GAIL: Oh, they know what they’ve gotten into by now. They don’t need my help. But I did wonder, during the primaries when everyone was getting so bent out of shape about Bill Clinton, this running amok, this must be that his heart surgery made him a new, strange, crazy person. There was just all this kind of speculation about why he was behaving in such an erratic fashion. I think it was just an alpha guy trying to deal with the role of First Lady, which as you said is a horrible role that requires so much self-control and so much humility and stomping on your own personality. It’s a very, very difficult thing to do. And clearly he’s not really a person that’s going to be able to do it all that well.

LESLEY: Both Cindy and Michelle are very strong women. Both have their own successful careers. Both have basically raised their children by themselves, because their husbands have come to Washington and the family didn’t move here, in both cases. So I can imagine both of them being used to running offices, and in Cindy’s case, running a company, that it’s especially difficult and closer to Bill Clinton than, say, Nancy Reagan was.

GAIL: I can’t think of them as Michelle and Cindy. I’m sorry. I saw Mrs. McCain in 2000, and she looked very, very, very unhappy. I mean, not in a sulking way.

Click here to read Nobody, Including Barack Obama Himself, Expected It, with Lesley Stahl and Gail Collins.

LESLEY: Even before South Carolina?

GAIL: Yeah. Sort of – not necessarily scared but just clearly a person who did not feel that this was the place that she wanted to be in the world, but trying very hard to do it. And Michelle Obama is clearly doing an amazing job of just trying to deal with this. But she doesn’t seem to be happy either. And we’ve heard a lot about how she’s told him that she won’t do this again. That this is the one time – if he doesn’t win this time they have to go back and have a saner life. But it’s a very, very difficult job.

LESLEY: Cindy McCain said exactly that last time.

GAIL: It’s true. That does tend to get washed away with the waves of time. But this is a very modern thing. Until Eleanor Roosevelt, there were only one or two First Ladies in all of American history who made an impact, who people could even have recognized or identified. And it’s really only been since Jackie Kennedy that there’s been this idea that the family life of the president is such a central thing. But I still don’t think that there’s … that when it comes down to it, people vote on the basis of a First Lady. I think sometimes they take the things that they like or don’t like about the candidate and kind of push that into or pull that out of, you know, the First Lady candidate. But I just don’t think that it’s going to be a big deal.

299 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Dr. Mark Klein
Presidential marriages are shams. The best we can hope for is the president doesn’t sleep on the couch too often, or has a generous mistress, so that out of resentment and sexual frustration he doesn’t use warmaking as anger management therapy. Obama’s preface to “The Audacity of Hope” suggests his marriage is sexually and emotionally dead with the couple staying together for the sake of their children and each’s octane high careers. We should be like the French who assume their leaders find ways outside marriage to gratify their sexual, emotional, and companionship needs.
By Dr. Mark Klein on 07/08/2008 1:09 am
GEORGE WU, A.I.A.
DR.KLEIN: “…SUGGESTS HIS MARRIAGE IS SEXUALLY AND EMOTIONALLY DEAD WITH THE COUPLE STAYING TOFETHER FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR CHILDREN AND EACH’S OCTANE HIGH CAREERS.” ARE YOU QUOTING THE MARRIAGE OF THE CLINTONS?—-DANCEWU(DOT)NET
By GEORGE WU, A.I.A. on 07/08/2008 2:33 am
beverly linens
George, quit ;yelling, it is rude!
By beverly linens on 07/08/2008 4:09 am
GEORGE WU, A.I.A.
BEVERLY: THANK YOU BUT NO THANK YOU!—-DANCEWU(DOT)NET
By GEORGE WU, A.I.A. on 07/08/2008 8:21 am
DeBúrca obj
I have found one thing to agree with you about… that, like the French, we should not concern ourselves with the marriages of our leaders, only their ability to do the job for us they were elected to do.
By DeBúrca obj on 07/08/2008 9:07 am
beverly linens
We spent $80 million dollars investigating Clinton and all we discovered was a sexual indescretion that should have concerned no one but Hillary. That was about the stupidest thing I think I’ve witnessed in my 71 years. Right up there with McCarthy going after pinko’s in Hollywood. Think of all the work around the world Clinton didn’t get done during those years.
By beverly linens on 07/08/2008 4:36 pm
beth willis
My sentiments exactly, Beverly. Peace and grace
By beth willis on 07/08/2008 5:36 pm
Trish Vernazza
Interesting article. Though we won’t have a woman president, it is validating to see one of these ladies in the White House that I can relate to: Strong, articulate, educated, giving, personable, sophisticated, forthcoming, sharing, confident, vocal, attractive:(core, physical, personality), purposeful, loyal, dedicated, friendly and approachable. Either one of these women I would enjoy and be honored to share a cup of coffee while discussing life, politics or just sharing a friendship.
By Trish Vernazza on 07/08/2008 1:17 am
Frannie Em
It seems that Cindy McCain, not wanting to stay in Washington and pursue her own career, is more of an independent woman than other political wives. I am sure there are many, but she has a very full and demanding career. Michelle Obama is giving up her career as well at this point. It is an amazing position to be in.
By Frannie Em on 07/08/2008 1:23 am
Frannie Em
Gail, I got my first credit card at 20 years old while attending USC. It was a Mobil gas card and no one signed for it but me. It was, and continues to be in my maiden name. I have always kept all of my credit in my maiden name. Once I got the Mobil, then came a department store and then I got a Sears credit card. Sears called me and asked if I had any relatives that had a Sears card and I told them about my father. He never signed for me, nor did they ever call him. All in my maiden name. No problem. I was responsible with them and never had any problem. My friends had credit cards in their own names as well. It always started with a gas card. At that time you could only buy gas with them, so maybe they figured we wouldn’t charge that much.
By Frannie Em on 07/08/2008 1:29 am
beverly linens
Frannie, what year was that? I couldn’t get a Shell card in 1966 until I had registered as a sole proprietor in Texas. I couldn’t get a card for a dept store in my name alone until I revealed my self as a business owner in 1970, I can’t remember when that changed because of course I was a business owner and operated that way.
By beverly linens on 07/08/2008 1:51 am
Bonnie Oliver
Beverly and Frannie - I was able to obtain my first credit card at age 18 from Sears Roebuck with a credit limit of $500. I just applied and got it. I was working part time. It seems as if I was always working part time from age 16 to 20 and I had a savings account from age seven or eight. Was it really so difficult for some women to obtain credit? I understand that a woman who was married had difficulty but a single woman? I wonder.
By Bonnie Oliver on 07/08/2008 2:00 am
beverly linens
Bonnie, what was the year? I spoke about 65 & 70. Because I was in business I don’t know when it changed. A savings account wasn’t an issue, anyone adult or child could do that. I didn’t have trouble having a checking account of my own either. It was specifically credit. They, whoever they were, wanted an adult male to sign on to be responsible. Be it father, uncle or husband in Texas, elsewhere I’m not sure. I was in Oregon in 70 but I had established credit as a business owner and it was in my business name. That business name opened up a lot of doors. Looking back, I have no idea who people thought owned it. Since in those days about the only businesses owned by a woman were Salons and for all I know they may have needed a mans signature. I just know when I got my first loan for the business I was told later the bank manager had broken the law to do it. He stayed very involved until I paid it back so I imagine he stuck his neck out. Of course I had no idea when I applied for it or I’d have never asked, I wasn’t married to kind of man who would have signed his name to any credit that didn’t serve his purpose
By beverly linens on 07/08/2008 3:25 am
Bonnie Oliver
Hi Bev, It has to be about 1965/6. Soon after that I received in the mail a credit card from Montgomery Ward with a credit line of $250. I didn’t drive until I was 21 so my first gasoline credit card was easy to obtain; Atlantic Richfield - remember them?
By Bonnie Oliver on 07/08/2008 4:51 am
beverly linens
Maybe you’re right and it was because I was married, or because I was in Texas, which in those days was very backward in the area of women’s rights, among other things. They even had dry counties. Yes I remember Atlantic Richfield, I carried that Shell card until sometime in the eighties when Shell pulled out of Oregon.
By beverly linens on 07/08/2008 5:49 am