Conversation | 08/15/2008 11:15 am

The Vancouver Conversations Part Three: Finance Confessions From a Few wOw Women

With Cynthia McFadden, Joni Evans, Lesley Stahl, Liz Smith and Mary Wells

Get the Flash Player to view this video.

Editor’s Note: Cynthia McFadden, Mary Wells, Lesley Stahl, Joni Evans and Liz Smith convened on Mary Wells’s yacht, Strangelove, in Vancouver for a glorious summer weekend of good friends and great conversation. Here’s more of what they talked about.

CYNTHIA: I realized how cavalier I am about money. I want to have enough to pay the bills, but I’m not really interested in it. And I somehow think … it’s something that happened as a child. I think I thought that, you know, you shouldn’t be too interested in money somehow. I don’t know. I don’t know the genesis of this. But my aunt was the secretary for the local bank president and so when I got my first checking account she was always telling my father that I was overdrawn or doing it badly or wrong. And so I vowed at 20 that I was going to have a job where I never had to balance my checkbook. And I wasn’t going to write down the numbers. And I have achieved that level of financial success.

Click here to read The Vancouver Conversations Part One: A Few wOw Women Remember Traumas and Dramas in High School, First Jobs, First Children.

Click here to read The Vancouver Conversations Part Two: A Few wOw Women on Losing Highly Sentimental Objects.

JONI: Do you think it’s a female thing? Is there a man who does things like that?

CYNTHIA: I hope not … I’m ashamed. I don’t say this with any great pride. I realized the other day that I couldn’t tell you what I’ve done with a lot of my money; that I have a ridiculous amount of money in my checking account because I’m too lazy or disinterested to invest it.

LIZ: But you’ve been very clever with money from real estate. You made some very good financial deals.

CYNTHIA: Yeah, I haven’t gotten them because they were good financial deals. I’ve done it because I loved the property.

LESLEY: I think you may be unusual. There’s a range and you’re way over here. And some are way over there – they care too much. And then, you know, there’s a bell curve.

CYNTHIA: But do you think women —

LESLEY: I’m talking about women. That’s what I’m talking about. I think women are all over the lot. I think women – some women – are obsessed with money. And that’s what they concentrate on; that’s what they care about. They’re on the ticker 24 hours a day, watching every little blip and depression in the market. And there are women like you. And the rest of us float around …

CYNTHIA: Now where are you on the scale?

LESLEY: Well, you know, I don’t watch anything.

CYNTHIA: Well, see.

LESLEY: Yes, I mean, I do invest. And I know where the money is.

CYNTHIA: Do you know what you’re invested in?

LESLEY: No, I don’t know the stocks I’m invested in.

CYNTHIA: Thank you.

LESLEY: No, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to know. And the people I invest with say the best investors are those who are not breathing down our throats. And I accept that.

CYNTHIA: Is that true, do you think?

LESLEY: Totally true.

JONI: Mary?

MARY: Well, if I were dependent on the growth of stock … I’m in bonds. And I’m in the last word in secure bonds. I’ve sacrificed a lot of money in the last ten years, in the last eight years.

LESLEY: You haven’t done the stock market at all in the last ten years?

Read more about: Finance, Money, Suze Orman, Wall Street

35 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Knowing how to invest money is not something men only can do. In my generation, it was “marry someone and they will take care of you…” I’ve even known women who didn’t even know how to write a check because they didn’t have to. Was that wrong thinking! I found out in 1975 who was going to “take care of me”, when my erstwhile husband and father of my children announced that he wasn’t. It was a long journey, but I learned how to invest and how to keep an eye on them. And, I think Lesley is dead wrong when she says she doesn’t ever watch her investments. Maybe it’s easy for her to say that; God knows she has oodles of money. But, that is also why so many celebs have gone broke by having money managers that had no accountability. So, even when everything you have in tied up in reliable mutual funds, you darned well better make sure you meet with your brokerage companies at least once a year to go over your investments, be aware of the types of investments you are being put in, and make sure your advisors are accountable for every move they make. And, be aware of market trends because occasionally one has to make adjustments to keep in pace with the economy.

By Diana T on 08/15/2008 12:24 pm

e-mail alert

Diana — good advice. . . important advice. But in times like these that have come onto to us like a thundercloud, we have to become more vigilant than we have before. What is important for your money managers to realize that you too are watching the statements closely. No question is to naive to ask on the phone. There is much to be learned, even after years. If they see little interest, there is a possiblity that your account may not be watched as closely as well. Your calls, your questions keep them alert and keep them honest. It also reestablishes a personal relationship that makes them perhaps remember you as a person. This is business I know, but to establish a personal rapport I have found give it another important dimension. You are saying once a year at least. Now - in these times - I would stress more often as these are not the best times. Usually, we meet every three months - could be more often — and I will ask and ask until I come out of the meeting (usually meeting and lunch) more knowledgable than when I went in by far. I want my managers to handle my monies, but I have become so noticably sharper over time that my learning curve and knowledge gained make me more confident in making judgments. It is just another of the many ways of becoming a very smart woman — and isn’t that what we want to be? Thanks, Diana, for your thoughts!

By joan larsen on 08/15/2008 1:32 pm

e-mail alert

I usually can call him over the phone if I have a question, and I wanted to know his track record before I would even sit down with him the first time. What with technology the way it is, I can access the mutual funds on line and read trends on line anytime. I love that. I just can’t identify with people that don’t know what they have, the same as the women I occasionally run into that tell me they never handle the checkbook because he “takes care” of things. I think the other thing not mentioned in this section is estate-planning. Thank God, Bill and I were big believers in wills. POAs for each other and living wills. When the aneurysm happened on a Saturday afternoon, his paycheck had just been deposited into his account automatically; also, I had to exercise my POA with his m’care stuff, sign his hospital forms, etc. and I could not have done that without a POA that was seen as legal in the state of Ky. No homemade job works. Sane goes for wills. Get a qualified for cryin’out loud. If you don’t know one, ask your banker. My dad taught my sister and me the importance of Estate Planning. So, when each parent died, I was the executor of both after having been their POA, and so each estate was probated smoothly and efficiently…no questions asked. I think any other way of handling one’s finances is naive at best and downright irresponsible at worst. And, yes, being an informed woman is being a safer woman in this world. I love reading your thoughts, too, Joan.

By Diana T on 08/15/2008 1:46 pm

e-mail alert

Diana, I hadn’t touched this as this is supposedly a separate topic - estate planning - but actually it goes hand in hand with handling your money. You don’t do one without the other — and I second you, Diana, in thinking that a person would have to be complete fool to think that they can handle this well. These are - and should be - legal matters. My financial planners ARE lawyers, of course, but I believe laws say that they can’t do both. So rely on your financial planner - if you have the best - to recommend a lawyer who does just that. Depending on your circumstances, and each have circumstances that are unique to us, you tell the lawyer your wishes. There are far wider choices in estate planning that most may realize. If we plan to provide for our children, there are ways and then there are better ways. You are not expected to go in knowing; the lawyer is expected to walk you through the choices and why one may be better than another. The relief you will feel once this topic that we want to put back in our mind - and we are all similar in THAT feeling - is settled, it is like a huge weight is lifted from us. And for remember, nothing is forever. Changes can be made as situations change. I say that only as so many people do not understand — as Diana and I once did not understand but now do fully. An enormous topic — and perhaps this will open the windows of what to do in the future for others who are at a standstill. I hope so!!!

By joan larsen on 08/15/2008 5:02 pm

e-mail alert

Joan, The minute we probated Bill’s will, even though I was distraught, we went straight back to our lawyer’s office and changed my will, my POA, and the living will so that it would fit my circumstances of being a widow. Then, when my head was on straighter, I went back and modified a few things in the will. That way, my lawyer and I were watching my back. One more thing if anybody with minor children are reading this post: When my sister and I were under 18, dad/mom always made sure they had someone appointed as legal guardian for us in the case of their joint death(car wreck, plane crash,etc). Otherwise, in the State of Ky, the minor children become wards of the state, and the state decides where they go. As soon as each grandchild was born, my daughter did the same thing after Bill and I talked to them about custodyandsurvivor laws. I guess each state varies, but I am astounded at the parents that either are scared to look into it or simply don’t think it is important.

By Diana T on 08/15/2008 5:16 pm

e-mail alert

If think of the combined millions friends and family have lost in the market, and eleswhere—it would be depressing waste of time. Right now my $$ focus is on three things: Going to NYC for a week in mid-October to meet-up with all the brightest Wine 2.0 and to have a blast. Moving to Aix-en-Provence in March. (Villefranche-sur-Mer is another temptation but seems too isolated). Pouring it on in my business because all the opportunity/future is there. The economy didn’t disappear, it relocated from hard goods to intellectual goods, from bricks and mortar to corraling like-minded groups together in social media locations—-like new kinds of towns—where you create a value exchange to increase the group, and influence. RE Mary’s comment on RE. I owned my first house at 17, my second at 21, and resort lake property at 28…it wasn’t hard then because of the times and today it is easier to acquire Internet property and make something of that just need to a smart, informed, agile and watch trends. My first job was acquiring locations all over the US for EF Hutton, and I think of the Internet as the same kind of thing, only on a flat vertical screen. I’ll get to see how smart/dumb I was in this thinking by Feb-March. Last night went to see “Moma Mia” and was very impressed that took a story with its roots in Sweden and set in Greece and linked it to the myth of Aphrodite. She isn’t just the goddess of love and beauty, but also charm, mirth, joy, creativity and of the sea which stands for transformation and abundance. So gods, Aphrodite me!

By No Way-No How -No McCain on 08/15/2008 2:00 pm

e-mail alert

PS. If haven’t seen “Moma Mia” see it! Here’s the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKx_14vJNZg Try not to dance in the aisle!

By No Way-No How -No McCain on 08/15/2008 2:08 pm

e-mail alert

That was cruel and unusual punishment - making Joni pay to visit the dogs!

By James the Game on 08/15/2008 2:09 pm

e-mail alert

When the World Turns to Cr*P: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tntqt_sP87c&feature=related I just love Gladstone’s (in Malibu for the east coasters)

By No Way-No How -No McCain on 08/15/2008 2:24 pm

e-mail alert

woWowow what a topic! If I had money to invest I would ask Joni for her sisters number! I should say when I have money to invest. Fascinating the different relationships we have with money . I have not been a person with money, ever. We were poor growing up in different projects, like many others, till they bought a house in flatbush, bklyn. For most of my life I hated money! Money hungry people, grrrr, materialism! grrrr So as the years went on I had no money. Why would money come to me if I pushed it away. I mellowed as the years drew on, and I got used to the finer things in life. I learned that I had better start respecting money. Then I had to make some money. I did my life backwards. I was a stay at home mom, then the kids left on their own, became a retired stay at home mom. I was an empty nester. I started painting, did some art shows. I wrote a screenplay, cathartic as it was. After being in an unhappy married life for many years I wanted out of my marriage desperately. And I still haven’t made it on my own. I did get a divorce but, like so many other couples, we are still living in the same house. I really need to be successful on my own! It has been hard for me to move a mountain with no support. When every body says you can’t! I recently started an internet drop-ship company with inexpensive home decor named, undersell home goods dot com. I have been working on this business for a few months now. I do it all myself. I wanted to invest in a business for myself with what little I had. It took me years to figure out how to make money on the internet, and I hope I found it. I have a great marketing company behind me. I decided to invest in myself, in my own dream. My dream of being independent, and maybe living a little.

By Jeanette Foresta on 08/16/2008 12:08 am

e-mail alert

Thanks for a great topic —— A recurring nightmare I have is loosing my purse with all my credit cards, check books, investment information and bank account numbers. No, I don’t really carry all that with me but in that dream I lost every penny I hadthat way. Whan I was a small girl I actually did loose a coin purse with $5.00 in it. It was a hard lesson and as a result I’m quite saving and careful with money. Now at 68 I’m retired and have been a widow for nearly 10 years. During my married years I didn’t take care of the finances at all and I had no control over what my husband did or didn’t do for money- we were very poor - I didn’t write checks and certainly never had a credit card. I saw utilities turned off for non payment, etc. I canned, cooked from scratch, baby sat worked out the home as soon as my youngest 6 years old. We somehow raised 4 kids and somehow got 3 of them through 4 years of college. When my husband died I was still working. He left behind as my responsibility his aged Mother - she was in a nursing home as a result of a broken hip, - my hubby was her only child. So I had to take care of her finances and my own. I had a net worth of about $50,000. but I was left a modest old home,in a valuable location that I was able to sell for a really nice profit. I have been able to put that $ into mutual funds and because of my insecurity have very little of it in stocks. it’s mostly in bonds and CDs to generate income. The fund is in my name as are bank and checking accounts BUT, because I want that money passed on to my kids, those accounts are POD accounts. I don’t know what I should about investing. Mother in Law has passed away a couple of years ago, but not before my Mother came to live in an assisted living facitity in my city….. So I took care of Mom’s and Mother in Law,s money in addition to my own for a while. Now I have only my money and my Mother’s $ to watch over. My mother has a Trust and mutual funds that I have to track and Mother in Law had investment all over the place. It took me months of corresponding with all those places they had investments. All that had to be put into my name - so I was dealing with death certificates (for father in law and hubby) and a letter from Mother in Law’s MDs saying she had dementia. That was at first totally overwhelming. I didn’t know what to do. Had stacks of papers, statements etc to sort through. It has all been so hard but I’ve learned and I’m so very thankful for what I have. Now I’m dealing with my mutual fund and my Mom’s, and have about 5 bank accounts- that’s right 5- to care for. Recently I was left some money by an uncle and have that money in a CD outside my mutual fund. That’s my story so far. Comments and suggesions please. Thanks ——————

By elaine oland on 08/16/2008 3:31 pm

e-mail alert

Hi F too, It sure sounds like you have your hands full. Here are a couple of things you can do to maximize the return on your money that shouldn’t take you very long. First, in the reference section of your library, you can probably find “Barron’s” magazine. In the middle is a “pull out” section called “Market Week.” The pages in that section are numbered “M1, M2, etc.” About two pages from the end, is a page called “Market Laboratory - Bonds.” At the bottom of that page, you’ll find a section titled “Top Savings Deposit Yields.” You’ll see FDIC insured banks rates, with phone numbers and minimum balance requirements. That might be a good place to start consolidating your CDs. For mutual funds, you might consider reviewing the Forbes annual mutual fund survey. They’re tough judges - analyzing funds in “up” and “down” markets, fees, longevity of management, etc. You sound like you’re interested in bond funds. Here’s how to find the ones they think are best. Go to http://www.forbes.com Click “Personal Finance,” then “Mutual Funds.” Under “Inside Mutual Funds” click “2007 Fund Guide.” Under “Best Buys,” click “Taxable Medium Term.” That will give you a good pre-screened selection of funds that may suit your need. Hope this helps. All the best to you.

By K O on 08/16/2008 9:55 pm

e-mail alert

Kitty: Thanks for the kind suggestions. I’ll certainly check these out. This was the kind of response I was hoping for. Best to you also.

By elaine oland on 08/16/2008 11:22 pm

e-mail alert

Mary, Cynthia, Lesley, Joni and Liz, Big thanks for these conversations. I appreciate how honest and open you are about your private lives. I loved the stories about your parents and their influence on you, they made a difference. The idea of a career planted so early. I think that is marvelous. The content of your conversations have been floating around in my head for a couple of days, and have kept me thinking about how much we all have to offer each other. Your experience and insight are illuminating Money and women is an important topic since we live longer. We must all make sure that we are conversant about every aspect of available services. I was always taught by both of my parents that I am responsible for me. A man isn’t a financial plan. Lesley, I have to tell you, my mother was always telling us that we didn’t need a man to prove to us that we were real, or to validate us as women. Okay, I got that, but as a teenager and young woman, I would have appreciated the practical information that your mother gave you. It would have cleared up a lot of confusion. It all worked out okay for me, but I took too many things personally in the game of relationships. I didn’t realize it was more of a game, and there were some simple techniques to get the ball rolling. I wanted and enjoy male companionship, and now my life is full with it. Ladies, thank you again for giving us a peek into yourselves.

By Frannie Em on 08/16/2008 11:54 pm

e-mail alert

I’ve been totally self-supporting since my divorce in 1968. I’ve put away money in my IRA and have some CDs, and a house, but I’ve always been afraid of winding up as a bag lady. I’m still working, and will as long as I’m physically able, but I still have this fear. One problem is the economy, which has eroded the value of my investments. I’m afraid there will be nothing left when I need it. Incidentally, I have remarried, but my husband and I keep separate accounts, although we do share most of the living expenses. I read somewhere that all women are afraid of winding up as bag ladies.

By Babette dYveine on 08/17/2008 9:16 am