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Conversation | 08/05/2008 12:15 pm

The Vancouver Conversations Part One: A Few wOw Women Remember Traumas and Dramas in High School, First Jobs, First Children

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Seated above from left to right are Cynthia McFadden, Mary Wells, Lesley Stahl, Joni Evans and Liz Smith.

Editor’s Note: Cynthia McFadden, Mary Wells, Lesley Stahl, Joni Evans and Liz Smith convened on Mary Wells’s yacht, Strangelove, in Vancouver for a glorious summer weekend of good friends and great conversation. Here’s what they talked about …

JONI: Hey, Liz, are you still the same person you were in high school?

LIZ: You’ve gotta be kidding. I mean that scrawny little know-nothing, aspiring, wannabe kid who would have done anything to bring attention on herself. You still think I’m that same person? I’m still the same. But in the process I became a snob, a semi-intellectual closet case, you know. All kinds of things happened to me that have been magical and wonderful. I feel much better than I felt in 1936 when I was reading Gone With the Wind.

JONI: But you are still the same person. You still have that, “I’m going to be somebody.”

LIZ: You know, I hate to be so trite, but going to the University of Texas did a lot for me. It changed me a lot. It sort of translated me from nothing into where I felt I had the equivalent of an Erasmus High School education, and so I could go on to New York and try to be somebody. I don’t think that would have happened without going to U.T.

JONI: Was that because you excelled in college?

LIZ: No, I just learned a lot and learned what I didn’t know and had wonderful experiences. I am the luckiest person in the world. I have been really lucky all my life. I showed up, like Woody Allen.

LESLEY: Women say they’re lucky and men don’t say that. Men say they made their lives.

LIZ: Well, I’ve worked hard. But I felt I … you know what? I was just translated up and up and up by working with fantastic men. I have only worked, really, in my whole life with one woman, Helen Gurley Brown. And that was late in my life, when I thought I was smarter than she was.

JONI: Were you?

LIZ: No. But, I don’t think that counted. It was men who translated me and pushed me to excel.

LESLEY: But when you came along there weren’t women you could work for. There were only men anyway.

LIZ: Yes. Well I worked for great men [Mike Wallace, Dave Garroway, Igor Cassini, Allen Funt].

CYNTHIA: You know what? I’m with Thomas Jefferson on that point. It’s amazing how the harder I work, the luckier I become. You know, it’s the truth. And of course there’s luck. It’s the person you meet that you would never have met who actually thinks maybe you have something or whatever. Of course there’s luck involved. But honestly, without the hard work and determination, the accomplishment and ability to achieve that, you know, you can’t turn the luck into anything but —

LIZ: Oh, well, let’s face it. I had a lot of charm and … and I was very cute when I was young.

MARY: When I started in work, everybody I worked for was a woman.

CYNTHIA: You had female bosses?

MARY: I went to New York to school and then everybody I worked for in New York and New Jersey, they were all women.

LESLEY: I thought you were the first woman boss in advertising.

MARY: No. No, I was the first woman that ever took an advertising agency public. I’m the first woman that ever was on the New York Stock Exchange. But there were lots of women in advertising.

LIZ: Mary, it was you who broke the glass ceiling, really, for all times.

MARY: That may be. But the women I worked for were tough babes and they were smart and they were really, really forceful. The woman running Macy’s, the woman running McCann Erickson, the woman running Doyle Dane Bernbach under Bill Bernbach. I mean, they ran the show. They were fabulous. They were great.

33 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

beth willis
I just wanted to alert you all to a charming picture of Liz Smith, which appears in nysocialdiary.com. She is attending a New York social function. Peace and grace
By beth willis on 08/05/2008 2:30 pm
siasp surate
High Shool hummm. I loved my school. I loved my teahers. I was a loner, by choice, and did not like many of the people I went to school with. I only had one friend. I was really good friends with my teachers, I still keep in touch with almost all of them and we often go out to lunch or dinner. As far as changing…I don’t think I have changed too much. However, to others I might seem like a different person because I use to never let people into my life. Now I’m still somewhat a loner but I let people in more often.
By siasp surate on 08/05/2008 3:39 pm
siasp surate
Liz, I don’t know if it is just me, but I think your legs, in the still picture of the conversation, look great. They look so toned and firm. I still can’t believe you’re 85. You look marvelous darling.
By siasp surate on 08/05/2008 3:49 pm
Barbara Kestenbaum
Were you all blondes in high school? I was and am a brunette and loved my high school years. I went to the Bronx High School of Science though it was not Science I was interested in. All of my junior high school friends took tests to get into the specialized schools in NYC. I took the test for Music & Art which was a disaster. They were all musical geniuses. Also took the test for Hunter High School which was all girls at that time. I was accepted there but chose Bronx Science for its reputation and for high ratio of boys to girls. To this day, many of my friends date back to high school and we all have the best of memories. Our teachers were the best, the competitive nature of the school brought out the best in us and prepared us for college and for being competitive in the “real world”. I was both a cheer-leader and a serious student AND an only child. This is the longest commentary I have ever written on a website! Love WOWOWOW. Hi Joni, So how’s your golf game now? xxxxxxxxxBK
By Barbara Kestenbaum on 08/05/2008 5:29 pm
siasp surate
I was also thinking the same thing…about them being blonde. Did you go into science in college?
By siasp surate on 08/05/2008 5:52 pm
Joni Evans
I haven’t asked the “natural blondes” around me, but I was a brunette until age 40. Someone dear gave me an appointment with the great Frederick Fekkai who REFUSED to cut my hair until it changed color. His colorist brightened me and life was more fun. My golf game would be far better if I didn’t carry (sneak) my IPhone with me and respond to e-mails between holes. You, Barbara, had the perfect education and I am envious. And you were a cheerleader…grounds for never talking to you again. xxxJoni
By Joni Evans on 08/05/2008 10:23 pm
joan larsen
Joni, First I will tell you about my hair - mouse brown in high school - doing nothing for me. Like you, I had to be told that life would be great - my confidence would soar - IF I had my hair blonde and highlighted. That day at age 35 I was re-invented as a blonde and I never once looked back. I found that I could speak before large audiences with self-assurance, and the move up in the world was meteoric. I now sincerely believe that when you look good, you feel good — and when you feel good, the sky is the limit as to what you can achieve. I was the ultimate model of “BEFOREANDAFTER”. And do I like the “after” !!!! And like you, Joni, I have never had so much fun! You look stunning by the way!!!
By joan larsen on 08/05/2008 11:33 pm
phyllis Doyle Pepe
All this talk about high school when I think their conversation really got interesting later on when they were discussing happiness/ sex/ marriage/ motherhood/ men/ etc. Am curious as to where they are going to go in part II. For the record, I loved high school––some of the best years of my life.
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 08/05/2008 5:54 pm
Dorothy Nichols
Oh, I hated high school. There was a lot of tension between the teachers and the administration, which eventually turned into a full strike after I left. But it made the very atmosphere of the school negative. It was a huge school, around 3,000 students, average classes of 30-35. There was also a lot of gang activity which turned quite bloody after my sophomore year. The cliques were entirely out of hand, and the worst people in the school by far were the cheerleaders. So yeah, I wound up with a very odd assortment of friends, we were all basically social rejects, but in a school of that size there were enough of us to form a small little circle. Most of us are still friends, we talk to each other online and email back and forth. The internet is great for holding onto relationships like that. Most of them I rediscovered within the past year, and it’s been wonderful reacquainting ourselves and see both how much we’ve changed and how much we’re the same. I have to say I loved ROTC. I know that’s odd, but it taught me a ton about leadership and the kids all kind of grouped together in a very positive way. The average drop out rate was so much lower for ROTC kids. I also loved my freshman art teacher, but she retired after that year. I didn’t have a lot of boyfriends, just one that I dated over and over. This was before a wise friend came into my life and told me “Honey, recycling is for cans, not boyfriends.” We had a terrible, wonderful love-hate relationship. We’re still friends to this day, too. We finally figured out we make each other too crazy to be romantic, but we can be great friends who really stimulate and challenge each other. Am I that person today? Sure, I think so, but I haven’t been the whole way through. I went through a really hard time in my early 20s, and I made the mistake of letting that change me in ways that weren’t at all healthy. So now I’m becoming more like that kid I was - confident, smart, funny, but with the improvements of age and (I hope) a little wisdom.
By Dorothy Nichols on 08/05/2008 6:09 pm
James the Game
I was a freak in high school, long hair, walked around in an Army jacket. I was careful about the booze and drugs, though. I knew how many people were throwing their futures away. Many of those heavy partiers are either six feet under or look 20 years older now than their age. Don’t get me wrong, though. It was a blast going to keggers and concerts. Still is. I stopped getting drunk, though, around age 23.
By James the Game on 08/05/2008 6:09 pm
G T
High School was fun..I participated in a lot of activities..Cheer Leader, musician in the band, vocal soloist, wrote the gossip column along with a friend for the HS news paper, was in school plays, make good grades.Had many friends, dated one of the stars of the football team… My Father would never allow me to have a job so I got my first job after attending a girls 2 year college finishing school. One summer as a receptionist and sales person for a cosmetics business. I knew nothing at all about working at a paying job. Later I worked for a company that was doing highly secretive work on the first Niki guided missles and got a high level security clearance. That wasn’t a bad job for a kid who knew nothing about the world and war. Went back to college and worked on the Masters degree and following that spent about 20 years working as a Social Worker. Those were my years spent “in the trenches” on the front line of the War on Poverty. Im a different person now..I loved it when Shirley MacLaine said “I’ve reinvented my self 7 times so far” I haven’t been as daring as she is, but I followed her lead…. Dare to follow Joseph Campbells advise..”Follow your bliss..where the deep sense of being is from, where your body and soul want to go. When you have that feeling, stay with it and don’t let anyone throw you off…and door will open where you didn’t know they were going to be”
By G T on 08/05/2008 7:51 pm
beth willis
To begin with, Liz Smith and I attended the same high school at different times Hers is the first famous person name any of us offers when asked that particular question. De Burq we had over 800 in our graduating class , 3000 grades 10-12, and we thought that was a lot. Very social school, ‘but not so much for me’ (Do you hear Sarah Vaughn singing that). I was ‘Most Witty’ in my class and city girls’ golf champion…I still pursue those talents. There were 5 of us who were really close friends, and we pretty much didn’t care about the rest of the folks. If it wasn’t funny, we weren’t interested. We used to gather at the Barlows….we knew whose mother was the most fun…and have ‘An Evening with Paul’ Newman, of course because a movie was on TV no tricky technology then. I’ve been somewhat sentimental these past weeks, hearing of Paul’s declining health. Boy, did we love him. I think we were more like the kids in “The World of Henry Orient,” different enough to be interesting. Liz Smith, I am taking my personal response from you to the next Paschal ‘65 luncheon group…wait’ll they see this. Peace and grace
By beth willis on 08/05/2008 9:02 pm
Babette dYveine
This conversation was fascinating! And so are the comments that followed. I hated High School — I was the ultimate outsider, but it really began in grade school. We moved from NYC to a Long Island suburb when I was ten, and I was totally rejected by all my classmates. In fact, they were often downright cruel. I was totally lacking in social graces, but I think they could have been a little kinder. It was a very painful time for me, and even though I’ve had many wonderful experiences in my life, sometimes when I think back on it, it still hurts. I did have a few friends in High School, and we did have a lot of fun, but I was never in the “right” cliques. I think I’ve learned a lot since then, but isn’t life a learning experience?
By Babette dYveine on 08/05/2008 10:15 pm
Blue Circle Girl
Thank you for this conversation ….. I knew it too … I got no clue what I want but you better bet I want the best of it …… so, I’m late to dance … what else would I be …. with my undergarment strap out place and my too big smile …. I love you …. right, you guys are not template icons are you …. I’m a thinkin’ you are just like me but successful …. I knew it …
By Blue Circle Girl on 08/06/2008 12:52 am
joan larsen
My teenage years were worthy of a book perhaps. Already so very young for my age and innocent - as they used to say - as the driven snow, I still find it unusual that I graduated from high school at 14. Looking back, how could that be — I looked and acted like I was 10 !! If any of you are old enough to remember the radio show “The Quiz Kids”, I was auditioned and accepted. I remember my mother telling me that “well brought up children do not flaunt their intelligence” so the answer was no. (Today I am glad — where are those kids today after getting acclaim so young?) Soon after I was on the Advisory Board of Seventeen magazine — remember that one, anyone? I had a very different life — unique —- but I would not know that until years later. It was just my life then. I was just a kid. The friends I had in high school are still my best friends today, believe it or not. The bond we had through those ups and downs of the teen years still hold us fast — so I count myself beyond fortunate. The school — the Lab School of University of Chicago — is where the Obama kids go now. Still the tops for great teachers, and an amazing education - inside the school and out — and certainly not to be forgotten. No, never.
By joan larsen on 08/06/2008 1:29 am