12/16/2009 4:00 am
Life
10 Ways to Gain an Hour in Each Day, by Christine L. Hohlbaum
Always late? Stack of papers on your desk? Laundry piling up? The Power of Slow author demonstrates how to stop rushing, cramming and stressing.
Christine Louise Hohlbaum
Editor’s Note: Christine Louise Hohlbaum is the author of The Power of Slow: 101 Ways to Save Time in Our 24/7 World (St. Martin’s Press). Christine lives near Munich, Germany, with her husband and two children. She also acts on TV shows and films to satisfy her inner thespian. Follow Christine on her book-related blog PowerofSlow.org, official website DiaryOfAMother.com and Twitter @ powerofslow.
The stack of books tumbled from my arms onto the floor. One look from the librarian told me I had better slow down or else. She even uttered the words, "Sometimes doing things slowly can actually be faster."
Should I tell her I wrote the book on it? I opened my mouth, then thought better of it. I had, after all, potentially damaged her property. What she didn’t know was that I was conducting an experiment. I had decided to see what would happen if I actually went against the principles of the "power of slow." I left the house in a busy state of mind and tried to cram five errands into 30 minutes so I could be at the auto mechanic by 11 AM. The librarian’s words proved the point.
You are more productive when you go slowly.
I breathed in the slow, releasing the cloak of busyness I had purposely donned, then drove the speed limit to the mechanic’s. I arrived right on time.
The power of slow says time is your friend, not your foe. When you embrace time with an abundant attitude, you actually have more of it. You 
can expand your experience of time itself simply through your mindset. Time savoring raises your awareness of what you have in the here and now. By enjoying the moment, you make decisions informed by that abundance. Time abundance, much like time starvation, is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When asked if I would want one more hour in the day, I say, "No. I have more than enough time." It seems like an oddball answer to a question most people answer with a resounding "yes!" The truth of the matter is time is a construct we designed. It is an organizing principle to help us make sense of our lives (and to meet up at the same moment at Starbucks). So if it’s not real, why do we treat it like the monster under our bed? Oh right. He’s not real either. Maybe, just maybe, time starvation is in our minds.
Our collective urgency, fear and yearning to stuff more into our day are merely symptoms of a much larger issue: how we relate to time itself. Establishing a positive relationship with time is a lot like investing. You have to give something to get a return. Investing a little time on the front end can give you a surplus at the end. Whether you’re a working woman, retiree, stay-at-home mother or single, here are 10 simple ways to gain more time in your day.
1. Manage expectations. Have you ever seen the look on the person’s face whose expectations you have improperly managed? It’s not pretty. To avoid mismanaged expectations, use the feedback method of communication. Essentially, you feed back to the other person what you think you’ve heard, then ask that person what they heard you just say. Once you have reached an agreement on what has been said and heard, you can be assured both sets of expectations are in alignment. This method can clear up potential misunderstandings on the spot. In addition, it will save you hours of cleaning up the mess you could have prevented had you managed those expectations properly in the first place.
2. Set your priorities. Make a note of your top items each day. Include even the "little things" such as "take out the trash" that would otherwise simmer in your subconscious as a stress point. Create a success chart in which you log the things you would like to accomplish, then move each one to the complete column as you fulfill each task. (Excel is great for this). At the end of the day, you’ll be able to have a visual for all that you’ve managed in your day. Remain flexible in case your priorities shift (leaving a burning building, for instance, is more important than finishing that report on your desk).
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Excellent tips. The multi-tasking thing has really become prevalent in our speeded-up, high-tech society. People simply don’t listen as well. Try to speak to someone - especially under 30 - for more than five seconds without them looking away at a TV or a cell phone, etcetera.
The "time for gratitude’ comment reflects something written in The How of Happiness, by Sonja Lyubomirski.
Multi-tasking is definitely not the best route to accomplish anything. Paying attention (through focusing and listening) is the way to get something complete and correct the first time. Exercise is wonderful for providing an energy boost as well as a clear mind to focus on tasks.
Gratitude is a necessity for a positive outlook. My personal preference is to think of 5 things I am grateful for each night before I go to sleep. Doing this is very calming and puts me in the proper state for rest.
Most of these tips are solid. However we should be careful in the area of discouraging multi-tasking, because some people (such as myself) are adept at it. I blog on this site and two others in the course of my work day. My job is in management, and therefore I have many many fires to put out in one day. Yet as many of you have noticed, I have days where it can appear all I do is blog, nothing could be further from the truth.
It is all about setting priorities and ticking off each responsibility or project. Some are good at it others are not. Christine’s first point otherwise known as Active Listening is not as productive as people may believe. To the contrary, it can lead to a very artificial way of communicating. Think about it, if you say something to me and I respond with "so what I am hearing you say is…." who talks like that? Annoying people maybe, but the average person does not.
I pride myself on my communication skills and this is one exercise I have tried many times and it just isn’t natural or normal.
I don’t know Chrome, I’m going to trust you when you say you are good at it. But I have yet to meet anyone who is good at active listening. Even the many trainers who have headed up the communication courses I have attended, were awful at it. :-) I have and do a version of it daily. Say for instance I am having a discussion with a friend or family member and we are debating politics, I will say "so you’re saying you don’t believe etc. etc. etc."
This gives the person I am talking to the opportunity to clarify or expound on their point, but it’s not as sterile I think as what trainers in Active Listening instruct to do.
"so your saying…" is the same things as "so what you’re telling me…". Just phrased differently. As long as your paraphrasing and asking for confirmation or denial that you heard someone correctly. You’re actively listening! see… you’ve been doing it to! It looks sterile in a training environment but isn’t sterile if you’re doing it in real life. Now if you say "so your saying you don’t believe…" without allowing them to correct what you heard if it’s not what they said… then that’s not active listening. But it sounds like you do….
Belinda,
Everyone has to have their own communication style that comes across authentically. I find even when I think I’m being clear with, say, my husband that he hears things differently than I do. I once wrote a piece called Martian Speak (because quite frankly, he speaks a totally different language than I do). He is literal. I am figurative. That’s where the fun begins.
The feedback method of communication is helpful in situations like this. When we think to do it, our communication is much clearer than when we’re both in our own heads.
Best to you,
Christine Louise Hohlbaum, author of The Power of Slow: 101 Ways to Save Time in Our 24/7 World
"martian speak" that’s funny! One time a few months back I was having a tough time and broke down in front of my husband crying and talking about what was bothering me. At one point I looked over at him and realized that while he was looking at me intently (as though he were listening) that he didn’t know waht i was saying. i stopped mid sob and said "you don’t have a clue what i’m talking about do you" and he goes "nope not a clue". After that he referred to that as "the night you were talking in tongues" lol! I thought i was being QUITE clear…!
I don’t know Christine, I think you and Chrome may be the only ones truly adept at using Active Listening. I can only speak for my own firsthand use and observations, but I stick by my statement that I have never met anyone that uses it effectively.
I can so relate to your definition of Martian Speak. The men I have been in committed relationships with have each spoke in very literal ways, while like you, I tend to be figurative. We all have our emotional baggage, and mine is the need to be heard. It’s important to me that I am understood, when I’m not it frustrates me. Funny isn’t it that someone like me wouldn’t gravitate toward Active Listening.
Chrome,
You are not alone. There are days when I’ll say "I just need to print out one thing…" and suddenly an hour has gone by. Computers are tricky things because they give you the sense that time is standing still. It’s good to have a strategy (such as a set time when you are online each day). That way you are less apt to engage in the time-suck that is the Internet!
We’re going to the Alps between Christmas and New Year’s without a laptop or any other gadget. The good news is there are still places on Earth where the hills are alive with the sound of music (and not the clacking of a keyboard!). Best to you!
Christine Louise Hohlbaum, author of The Power of Slow: 101 Ways to Save Time in Our 24/7 World