12/14/2009 4:00 am
Culture
9 Tips to Beat Holiday Stress, by Dr. Roberta Lee
Sickened by the sight of Santa Claus? In-laws driving you crazy? Follow these simple steps to seasonal serenity.
Editor’s Note: Dr. Roberta Lee is vice chair of the Department of Integrative Medicine, director of Continuing Medical Education, and co-director of the Fellowship in Integrative Medicine at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City. Her new book, The SuperStress Solution, will be published by Random House in January.
The holiday season definitely has its advantages: delicious meals, gift exchanges, fun trips and festive parties. But the flip side – a never-ending list of things to do, people to please and not enough time to do it in – can amplify your body’s stress response. The result? Neck pain, headaches, indigestion, heightened irritability, repressed immunity and emotional sensitivity, to start. And then there’s cardiovascular disease. In 2007, the Journal of the American Medical Association reported that psychological stress can increase the risk of a life-threatening condition called heart arrhythmia, which can lead to increased heart attacks. Don’t let this happen to you! Here are nine things you can do to take better care of yourself – in addition to everyone else – this holiday season:
1. Make a realistic to-do list. If your holiday is packed with tasks that only keep growing, prioritize by dividing your list into two categories: those that are essential to your well-being and those that aren’t. That should help put things into perspective.
2. Create a calendar. Sometimes, situations feel out of control simply because you’re disorganized. This leaves a lot of room for our imagination to make our tasks seem larger and more difficult than necessary. To mitigate those thoughts and feelings, make a giant calendar for the holiday period and break down your tasks into little projects.
3. Schedule downtime. We often tell ourselves we don’t have enough time to refuel, and our overall endurance is whittled away. To avoid such a situation, take a mental vacation. Plan five to ten minutes daily to sit in a quiet area of your home and imagine yourself in a favorite place with no distractions. Make sure to set a pleasant alarm (like a quiet egg timer) so you don’t have to keep watching the clock.
4. Exercise. Exercise raises endorphins, the natural "feel good" brain chemicals. It also shuts off the hunger drive. If you can’t fit in your usual routine, try walking just a little more each day. Wear a pedometer for the day to count your steps. By the end of the day, you’ll find you may have walked the equivalent of 50 to 75% of your usual daily routine — which is a whole lot better than throwing up your hands because you can’t find time to exercise!
5. Eat right. Overeating is very common during the holidays. Don’t go to a party hungry; eat a little something before you go. Decide what "off-limits" foods you will allow yourself to eat, portion control your meals at the party and focus on foods that naturally have lots of water in them.
6. Sleep enough and soundly! Sleep repairs your body from the daily wear and tear and improves your immunity. Scientists have found that those who sleep less than seven hours a night (on average) are three times as likely to get sick as those who averaged at least eight hours!
7. Nurture gratitude. This is what the holidays are about, right? Remind yourself of the abundance that you have. Reach out and appreciate those who help make your life pleasant. Pin up a picture of your family that makes you smile or put up a quote on your refrigerator that inspires you.
8. Honor loss. Many who have lost a dear one or who suffer from a serious chronic illness become painfully reacquainted with the feelings surrounding that difficult situation, especially during the holidays when families gather together. Find someone you trust and share your feelings with them, start a journal or find professional help if your grief is significant. Sharing the burden promotes healing.
9. Try alternative therapies. Schedule an acupuncture, massage or energy medicine treatment. Or, closer to home, try diluting one or two drops of lavender essential oil in a teaspoon of olive or sesame oil, pour on a cotton ball, then sit down and enjoy the relaxing aroma.
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We may struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by the possibly of December’s snowy weather, but we must remember that we are so fortunate to have people in our lives - both family and close friends - whom we love dearly and are certainly worth every bit of the effort.
I find that doing my shopping on the Internet has lessened the hassle of stores considerably - though the gifts are many. Pre-Christmas traditions in my own family offer familiar breaks during the rush of the holidays. We choose an evening when we are all home, holding the opening of the multitude of Christmas cards until then. But we do light those wide candles - and the piece de resistance to go along with this is that bottle of our favorite champage and the before-Christmas toasts - toasts that may be the truest gifts that we would ever want. It is then we talk about Christmas past, friends lost and friends found. The memories often make us laugh as we look back on so many holidays together with family. A break, of course, from so many things to do is really essential. Any stress is forgotten for a while as we realize how lucky we truly are.
Part of our Christmas tradition is to take the family on a night between Christmas and New Years to a show from Broadway. There is something so festive about being transported to another world for a few hours in a theatre where laughter and delight surround us. That feeling of togetherness remains so strong … so much so that the fast pace of pre-holidays begin to fade away. There has never been a year that has not been another good memory. Having warmth and love - knowing we care and are cared for - is naturally the greatest gift on earth.
On occasion, we have a slightly early Christmas up North so we can spend the two holidays somewhere on the ice of Antarctica — for those very weeks are the best time to be cavorting with penguins. . . and finding an instant cure for whatever ails you in this season. It really works!!!! Heavenly!
Joan - Even though it is sometimes stressful and overpowering, or even overwhelming, what you write so typifies the true meaning and spirit of Christmas. I myself get carried away with it. It is a chronic ailment in my case. My family recognizes that every year at this time I become unglued and eventually “cave in” due to the stress I put upon myself to make sure that we all will have a joyful and happy Christmas. In fact, if you ask my family, they will paraphrase the title, and tell you that Daddy’s favorite Christmas song is: “I’ll Be Sick For Christmas”. Even though I know you will be enjoying all the nice things about the Holiday, all garnished with your favorite champagne, it is evident that you will still be thinking of cavorting with penguins, because that is your true nature and you cannot easily overcome the priority of those secret desires. I can understand that.
You told me that you were not familiar with my special little penguin friend, "Pignu". You must try to find him Joan. I know you will fall in love with him. I know that he is on www.youtube.com, The Best of Pingu, Pigloo, and other penguin friends. Try to find a moment to locate him. Take a little break for yourself from all the Holiday hoopdeedoo. (I bet the young lady who uses the penguin logo on this site sometimes would know about little "Pignu" ). LR
Thank you, LR … as I will get to youtube … and send this also on to my lovely daughter - the Antarctica explorer like her Mom - who IS the one with the baby penguin logo that she captured on film in a remote section of that continent in January.
FYI: on top of Christmas, I have Chicago criminal court jury duty almost too soon after the holiday. Normally, the longer trials that I seem to get on provide material that tends to end up in a story of stories… so as you can imagine, I love it!!
Thank you once again!!!!!!
Joan, as always, your words uplift and invigorate. Over the years, my cousins and I have supported one another through the loss of our parents, and we have sometimes spent holidays that were very bittersweet as we lost dear ones, saw old traditions fade, and family scatter. But gradually, something happened that was wonderful. We lowered our expectations, and lifted our face toward the future.
The first thing to go? Presents. We’re all grown up, each with her own home and each fully prepared to meet the needs of our own lives. No need to make ourselves stressed over the "perfect gift". The perfect gift became instead the perfect meal together. And it is a meal we prepare ourselves, cooking together being a true gift that we can all share. The venue changes from year to year, but wherever we gather, we make sure to have music, lights and lots of sparkle to warm the soul. We snack on and off as the big meal cooks, and then we gather around and as we eat, we tell all the old stories, we laugh, we reflect, and we relax. Afterward, we curl up to watch the old favorite movies, or play some games.
Simple gifts. Nothing like ‘em! And being together is the best way to make sure that we don’t lose sight of what really counts: family. It has taken a new shape over the years, but family spirit never ends.
You, too, are upbeat . . and I am not surprised that you think as I do. The Christmas of our youth was - well - lovely. . and a relic of the past. We must be thankful that we were around for those innocent childhood days of yore. A son has taken over the holidays in his own fashion though, and we see our old ornaments - each with a private meaning to us - displayed on his tree. Touching. There are always about 6 hours of board games after dinner with a high competitive spirit that keeps us laughing and lively. We get to see each other as we really are, say outrageous things, and fill the house with the feeling of love and caring. The grandchildren participate in the food preparations. He has them on teams: Team Bart or whatever makes certain appetizers or part of the main meal with instruction that comes out as FUN things to do, so they are learning what they will eventually have to be doing as adults already. They get into fancy looking trays now, pleased with their own magazine cover look they have perfected. Lots of praise and lots of silliness - and boom! the meal is complete and every person worked with another and were part of the whole. The entire family is drawn in as if it, too, were a game. There is something so satisfying to see this day as it goes along. We are actually getting re-acquainted for we live far from each other; the bond remains so strong this way. The memories should be great ones for the young for the years to come.
And it isn’t about presents we find. It is about the delight of being together, isn’t it? Now - how can we spread this good word to the outside world???? Joan
Thanks for the excellent article on stress for the holidays. So many people are facing challenges this year, we cannot share too many ideas or resources to help them get through the holidays unscathed.
Have a happy holiday season,
Heidi Richards Mooney, Publisher