Mr. wOw on Miley, Mika and Tiger

Now that health care has passed – sort of – in its compromised, mutilated form – Mr. wOw feels free to be shallow.

Not that we don’t care. But this is a victory at an immeasurable cost. I’ve never seen such mishandling and inability to defend a position – to state a position clearly! – as the Democrats demonstrated throughout this ordeal.

But maybe now Obama will stop talking about being a “good one-term president” – because he needs another four to make sure this bill isn’t shredded and overturned in every way.

Enough! I have a headache already.

On to the silly.

Mr. wOw has very little use for Miley Cyrus. She’s 17, a terrible actress and a nondescript singer. (She displays her lack of talent in both these areas on Disney’s “Hannah Montana.”) However, this doesn’t make her a bad person.

In fact, as a person, she went up quite a few notches last week when, in Parade magazine, she struck back at criticism from “Morning Joe” newstress Mika Brzezinski. Mika, the daughter of former Carter cabinet member Zbigniew Brzezinski, declared herself offended by Miley’s “pole dance” at an awards show last year.

This is Mika’s role on “Morning Joe.” She is the moral arbiter and/or glamorous sidekick to Mr. Scarborough. I don’t get what she thinks she is doing every day, but she is unembarrassed by her mock gasps and pouts, cute eye-rolling and references to herself as “Mommy.” (The only person who ever looks embarrassed at the frat-boy antics, smirking and double entendre of this show is Pat Buchanan, a frequent guest. I don’t agree with him politically, but I’m right there with him as the expression on his face conveys – “what a bunch of assholes.”)

Anyway, Miley said in part, “My impulse is to say, ‘Get off my case Mika … my job is first to entertain, and do what I love. And if you don’t like it, change the channel … I would do that pole dance a thousand times because it was right for the song and that performance. But, dude, if you think that dancing on top of an ice cream cart with a pole is bad, then go check out what 90 percent of high-schoolers are really up to.’” Miley went on to use the word “dude” again and remind Mika that she was probably no “angel” at the same age. Mika, rebutting Miley, insisted she was an angel. Or close to it. And she went on to say she didn’t want her 11-year-old daughter pole dancing. Mika, that’s your job.

The rich part of this is that Mika’s dad was on the show the very day that this bit of foolishness was reported. (By the sneering no-talent Willie Geist.) Zbigniew looked bemused. Probably clueless as to who Miley Cryus is, and perhaps even to stripper poles. But sure that his beloved Mika had right on her side in this struggle with a teenage Disney starlet.

Miss Mika is very popular. (And sometimes effective and forceful, when free of Joe; she shakes off her schtick. So, honey, if you think this is the best use of your talent – eh, fine. I think you could do better. Good luck on keeping your daughter away from the stripper pole!

Anyway, the best part of “Morning Joe” is trying to catch how many times Joe can say, “When I was a Congressman!” A great drinking game could be made out of it. That and how often Sean Hannity says, “I’m a Christian!” (In both cases you’d be insensate before the first quarter hour.)

P.S. Miley Cyrus has also expressed herself strongly on the boredom and confines of her Disney image. Hmm … sweetie, one Lindsay Lohan is enough!

***

Tiger Woods. What? Like I could avoid it?

Mr. Woods gave two brief interviews to ESPN and the Golf Channel the other day, as he prepares to return to his sport in a few weeks at the Augusta National. He expressed himself “properly” in all ways – sorry … disgusted with his behavior … sorry … working on his issues … nervous about public reaction … some things will remain private, etc. I’d rather he didn’t have to address any of it, but Mr. wOw lives in a dream world sometimes, where people aren’t such hypocrites and bullies.

As to the recent release of Tiger’s graphic sex-texts to one of his creatures – so? Everybody gets their kink on, especially if you’re kinking with a porn actress. Tiger’s lurid ways and language might not be alluring to most women, but most women – luckily – don’t have sex with him.

The bigger question is: What kind of a person releases such material just as it looks like Tiger and his wife are working hard to save their marriage? I guess the same kind who poses pantless for GQ, and tells us more than we need to know about John and Elizabeth Edwards. I refuse to print these women’s names.

At least not right now, while I’m in a state.

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