12/02/2009 5:15 pm
Culture
Mr. wOw Says – Let's Get Out of Tiger Woods's Driveway
Here's hoping the golf star doesn't go all Hugh Grant on us
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We’d like to say we are agog by cable TV’s talking heads who all behave as if Tiger had driven up their driveway and banged up their tree. Or slept with their girlfriend. But it was par for the gossip golf course. Several of the heads expressed grave doubts that "at that hour of the night, it’s hard to believe alcohol was not involved." If only there was a way to sue for malicious speculation.
"We must, we will get to the bottom of this," said one woman, who smiled broadly, and cheerfully. I hope her life remains as perfect as it surely must be. And so chock-full of vital matters to get to the bottom of.
Will Mr. Woods keep his own counsel, give no further statements, attend to his private life privately, no matter what cocktail waitress with sexy text messages and revelations pops up from the dregs of GimmieSomeAttentionville? Perhaps. He is under pressure to grovel before us all.
(What is there to say about people who come forward with intimate info on a star with whom one has dallied? E-mails, voicemails, photos. Are we supposed to think better of the bimbos/himbos who are not only sluts, but untrustworthy sluts?)
The public and press elevated Tiger Woods to some inhuman standard of moral conduct. He plays golf. He plays golf very well. I don’t recall him ever uttering the words, "Don’t step out on your wife," while hitting a hole in one.
I don’t want to hear his apology. It won’t make me feel superior or comforted. I’m not disappointed, just … bored by the hypocrisy on both sides.
Tiger, do us a favor. Don’t go all Hugh Grant. Keep your sins to yourself. No pleasure is derived from this peanut gallery When Stars Regret. Tee off and try to keep it in your pants.
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Do we REALLY need to be voyeurs peering and critiquing celebrities’ lives?
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I will no doubt regret this but collectively speaking, yes. We LOVE it. It’s called schadenfruede. We love to put them up on the pedestals and we love to knock them off the pedestals. It’s a curious part of human nature.
And it’s not new. The world loved every moment of it with "The Burtons" who entertained us off-screen as much as on-screen for over 20 years. The fights, the reconciliations, the public pronouncements, the diamonds, the divorce, the remarriage on a a river bank which she thought fitting in terms of being married amongst their own kind and you can draw your own conclusions about that and the final divorce and the speculation even after they remarried about a reconciliation. Not because we wanted them to be happy. We missed the entertainment. I suspect even the Vatican hoped for a reconciliation and remarriage. They got a lot of mileage out of the "intemperate vamp" proclamations of their own. Not every day the Vatican can take a slam at someone and be guaranteed that it will be covered by every media outlet in the world. The best publicist couldn’t have achieved what they achieved for themselves just by being human. Gods and goddesses are not supposed to be human. Which is why we like to knock them off their pedestals. The Burtons loved it as much as we did. We just kept putting them back on a bigger pedestal. And she of course kept getting bigger diamonds!
UGH, UGH, UGH! Just watched that bastion of liberal outrage, Keith Olbermann, do five bitchy, queeny minutes on Tiger Woods.
Keith’s cohort was gossip columnist Mr. Michael Musto. Is Mr. Wow supposed to take Mr. Olbermann seriously with his Worst Persons In The World? Or his Special Comments on health care? His trembling fury over Glenn Beck’s paranoia or concern about threats against Obama?
I don’t think so. This is a man who just took five vital minutes to mock and demean a golfer who is in trouble with women. Eh, why spend any more time on the troop surge.
Oh, Keith, what a hero you are.
How can you stomach watching MSNBC and Olbermann & Madcow? You know what they are. Curosity is one thing but, remember, curiosity killed the cat. MSNBC & CNN are the lowest rates news networks. Get out of the garbage can.
I was going after the company that fired me, actually. There was a boatload of money for anyone brave enough to take it on, but no one would. I did get some redress through the EEOC on the claim that had it been a man they would have done nothing, and probably pay him on the back with a smile and a wink. Since they also said they were concerned about image, I also had examples of things they swept under the rug that, if known, would have greatly tarnished their image more than someone who had worked with praise for three year in the president’s office having retired from adult films seven years earlier, at that point.
As for internet stalking, there are tons of criminal laws on the books, but there isn’t a single police jurisdiction who will take the initiative to investigate. I even had three suspects that could be narrowed down with just a couple of subpoenas to ISPs. It was just a big ole mess.
Good to hear that the news conference with the doberman was canceled. I hope it was because the woman grew a conscience and not because Gloria realized there wasn’t enough in it for her.
Mr. Wow, the whole situation makes me very sad. I would like to see the media back off and concentrate on real news not the tabloid stuff. It is obvious that Tiger and his wife are having difficulties. Now we have the girlfriend, Jamie Grubbs, nailing him with his cell phone request to remove his name from her cell phone. I don’t blame Tiger’s wife for going beserk over this. My heart goes out to both of them as they have two adorable children. If they are strong in their commitment to each other, hopefully, they will be able to put this behind them. People aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. I hope they can repair this one.
Very sad, indeed.
Oh, come on. Where’s the evidence that Tiger Woods is consorting with prostitutes. Hugh Grant and Tiger Wood’s are two different stories. So, don’t make this correlation between Woods and Grant. But, now that I’ve said that, it doesn’t make Mr. Wood’s situation any less seedier than Grant’s. They both are cheaters. For the shocked, angry, and disappointed women and men who want to see Mr. Woods tarred and feathered, and run out on a rail, they won’t need to wait long. Punishment will duly be served. Like other celebs who have had their dirty little indiscretions discovered, he will loose endorsements, the respect of his fans around the world, and if she cannot forgive, maybe his wife and children. If Mr. Woods doesn’t realize right now what a dumb ass he is, he will down the road. When his professional golfer’s national and international schedule makes it difficult to fit in visitation with the kids.
The public and press elevated Tiger Woods to some inhuman standard of moral conduct.
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Actually he did that himself and has from time to time made comments about "family values" that of course weren’t values he himself had.
I hope he isn’t "born again" because at some point we will all be treated to his repentance and forgiveness by his family and friends and I suppose in the case of a golfer his fans.
I still have a problem with Mel Gibson. But, well, who am I to judge when everyone else has forgiven him? Except his wife who I hope gets half of everything.
The best revenge is sometimes the best divorce lawyer you can find.