Pushy, To Say the Least
Dear Margo: I just started my dream job. (I literally used to dream about working at this particular establishment when I was a child.) Now I’m in a bit of a jam. There’s a man I work with, indirectly. He is higher up the chain. I was chummy with him the first few weeks (purely platonic), and he had a big birthday bash. I was invited and wanted to come, but I fell ill and could not make it.
During one of our talks, I told him I was going on a cruise with my family and would be stopping by a special place in Mexico that’s owned by a rock star. He happens to be a big fan of this musician and begged me to bring him back a shirt. I said sure and that I’d give it to him as a birthday present to make up for my absence. Long story short, we ended up not going to that side of Mexico, and when I let him know, he sent me a link to where I could order his shirts. (He picked out two.) I told him I couldn’t afford this.
When I came back from the cruise, he instantly asked about his shirts. I got embarrassed and said I had ordered them (lie) and that there had been a mix-up (lie again) and would be a delay (lie). I am usually a blunt and honest person, so I have no idea why I lied. The point is that I am really too broke (being a full-time student who only works part time) to buy this guy shirts and have them shipped from Mexico to where we live in Europe. But I lied and told him I would. How do I get out of this without losing face at my place of work, and how do I avoid these types of situations in the future? — Lies Are Expensive
Dear Lies: Oh, what a tangled web we weave … when we let people maneuver us into tight corners and then lie to get out. What you need to do is fess up. Just say you really can’t afford it and were embarrassed to say so. This man who is your professional superior was out of line, by the way, to send you a link so you could buy him something (two somethings, to be precise). Kinda jerky. You did nothing wrong — except not playing it straight from the beginning. I suspect you will not find yourself in a similar situation again. — Margo, correctively
Dear Margo: We recently had a death in the family, and my husband and I are debating about whether or not to take our infant son, currently 11 months, to the services and the gathering afterward. What is the best way to handle this situation? If we do not take him, what do I say to those who are curious as to where my husband is? (My husband would stay with him, as the death was on my side of the family.) — Belinda
Dear Bel: I think it would be fine to take the baby, since he would have no idea what the occasion was, and it might cheer up some of the other mourners to see him. However, should he cry or holler during the service, I would suggest you walk out with him. Just as at a wedding, a crying child should not be allowed to interfere with guests wishing to hear what is being said. — Margo, sensibly
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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via the online form at www.creators.com/dear-margo.html. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
COPYRIGHT 2012 MARGO HOWARD
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