Sign in to wowOwow

Enter the email address that you used when registering at wowOwow.
The password field is case sensitive. Click here if you have forgotten your password.

Please register for wowOwow

Newsletter subscriptions
Sign up to receive wowOwow's weekly newsletter and get our best picks delivered right to your inbox. Our newsletter content is hand-picked by the wowOwow editorial team and provides the top features, news, and commentary from our site. Subscribing to our newsletter is free and safe. We will never share your email or other information with a third-party without your direct consent.
By registering, you indicate that you have read and agree
with our privacy policy and terms of service.

Margo Howard | 07/26/2009 11:00 pm

The Bodyguard Fad, by Margo Howard

Margo Howard
Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.

In the grand tradition of Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis, another nobody is making a play for celebrity. Levi Johnston was said to be in NYC at a chi-chi place with two bodyguards. Bodyguards! Remarkable when you stop to think that he is only known for … well, we all know what he’s known for. It’s quite a strange world, don’t you think, when that puts you in the category of being a celebrity? This kid is also shopping a book. Like his virtual ex-mother-in-law, one cannot avoid the thought that it might be good if he read a book before writing one.

I have written about this general subject before (in The New Republic) and decided a suitable name for the ink given to people of no achievement is "Celebridreck." Covering silly kids has spread like a societal athlete’s foot into many areas of American media. These "famous people" have gone crazy … with our help. There is a chance that I take this view because I am no longer a poulet printemps … but I don’t think so. The irony was not lost on me, years ago in Chicago, when I was out to dinner with Jonas Salk – who went totally unrecognized in the restaurant. Just before we left, Tab Hunter appeared, and, of course, was mobbed.

There is no disputing that the public has always been awestruck by the famous. The problem now, however, is that the standards for fame have gone to hell, and these days everybody and his dog want to be in the limelight simply because the perks seem like fun. B-list performers, for example, now go everywhere with an "entourage" – including, of course, bodyguards. I remember when I lived in West Los Angeles seeing Cary Grant walking around doing chores – and he was by his lonesome. Go figure.

Along with the dollar, we’ve experienced a regrettable devaluation of celebrity. Anyone over 30 cannot help but wonder: What the hell happened? The news-ingesting public is bombarded with fake news of the faux famous, but who are these people? Did the mainstream media purposely dumb things down? This is a chicken-and-egg debate, to be sure, trying to figure out how a bunch of anorexic, addled, addicted nobodies morphed into household names. Did the press lead us down this loony path, thinking it profitable? Or did the paying customers make known their yen for drivel? Could people be so depressed by national and personal problems that they get a media-delivered serotonin fix by keeping tabs on people who think going to parties is a job? Might celebridreck be taking the place soap operas used to occupy as diversions from dull lives – but with real people? There has certainly been a sea change in how you get to be a celebrity. Actions formerly disdained because they were criminal, shameful or, at the very least, déclassé, now make their practitioners into public figures. These days, attention is a loopy kind of Alice-in-the-looking-glass reward for bad behavior – and it lasts way longer than 15 minutes. It is now possible to achieve celebrity status by assaulting employees, entering rehab or screwing for posterity courtesy of your video cam. Whereas a wayward rich kid or round-heeled bimbo used to rate a passing mention in the public prints – maybe – now these unfortunates are catnip for journalists. The magic carpet for the publicity hungry is now red and so heavily trafficked as to have lost all meaning. I, frankly, don’t give a rat’s ass about Sir Paul’s marital mistake or Lindsay Lohan’s dance in and out of dry-out tanks. Good celebrity gossip, like the celebrities, just ain’t what it used to be. Perhaps the whole situation can be summed up with this joke: A middle-aged woman was reminiscing that, when she and her friends were young, they all wanted to look like Elizabeth Taylor. Now they all do.

135 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Andrea Brandon

Funny, the REAL celebrities are busy working and don’t have time to flaunt themselves, whereas the "here today, gone tomorrow" folks don’t seem to understand that the world has them pegged as airheads with zero talent and no future.

But then there’s Hilton and Lohan…….no accounting for taste.

By Andrea Brandon on 07/27/2009 1:13 am
FEE PORTER
Getting arrested, showing their shaven nether regions, and making out and up on webcams…That is the Celebridrecks’ jobs.  What blew my mind and totally turned me away from the (very) little interest I had in this nonsense, was when CNN and Fox news followed the car P. Hilton was in after being released from her joke-of-a-prison, ala-OJ Simpson style.  What is news?  Apparently anything they tell us it is.
By FEE PORTER on 10/14/2009 3:54 am
Jim Martin
I didn’t recognize any of the celebridreck names you mentioned except P Hilton, but then I’m over 60 and I never watch TV or read People. I absolutely loved the Liz Taylor joke and everything else in this wonderful article. It’s truly a blessing to be old enough not to care much any more what goes on in this crazy world.
By Jim Martin on 07/27/2009 1:19 am
Lexi Emerton
Who the freak is this and why the freak should we care? And why, Margo, are you posting this? Ugh!
By Lexi Emerton on 07/27/2009 2:34 am
Lizzie R.
Stand in the check-out line in any grocery store and look at who graces the covers of all the magazines there…celebridreck all, and it changes from month to month with whoever is out tackying the ones from the previous months. Watch out, the Octimom’s dreams have been realized, as she is getting her own show.
By Lizzie R. on 07/27/2009 2:34 am
Dawn Smith

Margo, I couldn’t agree with you more. I have no idea and less interest as to who these ‘nobody’ celebs are. I worked in Vegas and had "celebrity patients" and I can attest that their ‘entourage’ was more work than the patient.

 Let me share my Liz Taylor joke with you even though it’s been around the medical profession for years.

Liz goes to her plastic surgeon and says "Doctor, I need to have you fix something". He says" What is it Liz?" She says" you know I’ve had my face lifted, my eyes done, my breasts lifted but I’m having a problem hmmmmm…… down there". He says "I completely understand and I can help you". Liz says " I don’t want anyone to know !! I want complete confidentiality !"" No problem" says the Doc and he performs the surgery. Well…. when La Liz wakes up from her surgery there are 3 large bouquets of flowers in her room and she is furious ! The Doctor comes in and she says " What are these flowers doing here? I told you I didn’t want anyone to know !!" The Doctor says " Calm down Liz, the first bouquet is from me, I think I did a great job on you. The second bouquet is from the anesthesiologist, he also thought the surgery went wonderfully and……..the third bouquet is from a guy in the Burn Unit, he wanted to thank you for the new ears".

By Dawn Smith on 07/27/2009 5:01 am
phyllis Doyle Pepe
Hey, Dawn––funny joke––kind of gets you in the who know what!
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 07/27/2009 9:51 am
Annie H
Dawn, Wonderful joke.  I darn near spit my coffee on the computer screen!
By Annie H on 07/27/2009 10:14 am
Agyness O
Dawn…LOL. I moistened my unmentionalbes.
By Agyness O on 07/27/2009 12:15 pm
Jaki Kennedy
I’m with you on this one Margo! But I do have a question: Who the hell is Levi Johnston? Obviously we don’t all know what he’s known for!
By Jaki Kennedy on 07/27/2009 5:09 am
Dawn Smith
He impregnated Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol. Now he’s writing a book, like Margo said maybe he should read one first.
By Dawn Smith on 07/27/2009 5:25 am
Dana Pulley
Levi Johnston with bodyguards? Who on earth is supposed to come after him, Sarah Palin??? 
By Dana Pulley on 07/27/2009 6:04 am
Lym BO
Actually that would be a scary thought. She is quite the tenacious type.  Margo, maybe he should have a bodyguard… LOL
By Lym BO on 07/27/2009 9:30 am
Elizabeth Clark
If getting girls knocked up is news worthy, then hell, they need to send the photogs to any highschool in the USA. *Rolls eyes* I agree Margo, real celebs don’t need to be mobbed, they let their work speak for them so they can sit with other celebs like you and chit-chat in peace. *Smiles*
By Elizabeth Clark on 07/27/2009 6:27 am
L. C.

I’ve never been impressed with this whole celebrity thing! … I’ve passed many celebrities on the streets of New York City. Our eyes met, a pleasant smile or a nod of the head was exchanged while still walking. I’ve long understood what they do is their job.

I can get excited when thinking of great teachers I had in grade school specifically Mrs. Edna Rust Jr. 5 grade and Mrs. Alma Crosby, 6 grade. Incredible college professors Depaul, Gooch, Pantoja and Albercrombie. These are the persons who inspired me and impacted my life. These are my celebrities and rock stars !

Truly accomplished persons are busy living their lives. They have work and family responsibilities. They’re not hanging around hoping someone will recognize them. These wannabes are pathetic empty ignorant a- -holes:-l

By L. C. on 07/27/2009 7:07 am