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Margo Howard | 07/26/2009 11:00 pm

The Bodyguard Fad, by Margo Howard

Margo Howard
Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.

In the grand tradition of Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis, another nobody is making a play for celebrity. Levi Johnston was said to be in NYC at a chi-chi place with two bodyguards. Bodyguards! Remarkable when you stop to think that he is only known for … well, we all know what he’s known for. It’s quite a strange world, don’t you think, when that puts you in the category of being a celebrity? This kid is also shopping a book. Like his virtual ex-mother-in-law, one cannot avoid the thought that it might be good if he read a book before writing one.

I have written about this general subject before (in The New Republic) and decided a suitable name for the ink given to people of no achievement is "Celebridreck." Covering silly kids has spread like a societal athlete’s foot into many areas of American media. These "famous people" have gone crazy … with our help. There is a chance that I take this view because I am no longer a poulet printemps … but I don’t think so. The irony was not lost on me, years ago in Chicago, when I was out to dinner with Jonas Salk – who went totally unrecognized in the restaurant. Just before we left, Tab Hunter appeared, and, of course, was mobbed.

There is no disputing that the public has always been awestruck by the famous. The problem now, however, is that the standards for fame have gone to hell, and these days everybody and his dog want to be in the limelight simply because the perks seem like fun. B-list performers, for example, now go everywhere with an "entourage" – including, of course, bodyguards. I remember when I lived in West Los Angeles seeing Cary Grant walking around doing chores – and he was by his lonesome. Go figure.

Along with the dollar, we’ve experienced a regrettable devaluation of celebrity. Anyone over 30 cannot help but wonder: What the hell happened? The news-ingesting public is bombarded with fake news of the faux famous, but who are these people? Did the mainstream media purposely dumb things down? This is a chicken-and-egg debate, to be sure, trying to figure out how a bunch of anorexic, addled, addicted nobodies morphed into household names. Did the press lead us down this loony path, thinking it profitable? Or did the paying customers make known their yen for drivel? Could people be so depressed by national and personal problems that they get a media-delivered serotonin fix by keeping tabs on people who think going to parties is a job? Might celebridreck be taking the place soap operas used to occupy as diversions from dull lives – but with real people? There has certainly been a sea change in how you get to be a celebrity. Actions formerly disdained because they were criminal, shameful or, at the very least, déclassé, now make their practitioners into public figures. These days, attention is a loopy kind of Alice-in-the-looking-glass reward for bad behavior – and it lasts way longer than 15 minutes. It is now possible to achieve celebrity status by assaulting employees, entering rehab or screwing for posterity courtesy of your video cam. Whereas a wayward rich kid or round-heeled bimbo used to rate a passing mention in the public prints – maybe – now these unfortunates are catnip for journalists. The magic carpet for the publicity hungry is now red and so heavily trafficked as to have lost all meaning. I, frankly, don’t give a rat’s ass about Sir Paul’s marital mistake or Lindsay Lohan’s dance in and out of dry-out tanks. Good celebrity gossip, like the celebrities, just ain’t what it used to be. Perhaps the whole situation can be summed up with this joke: A middle-aged woman was reminiscing that, when she and her friends were young, they all wanted to look like Elizabeth Taylor. Now they all do.

135 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Dawn Smith
OOPs, that would be ‘favorite’. I still get excited when I think of that story. The beating heart of an older dame !!
By Dawn Smith on 07/27/2009 4:31 pm
Annie H
Dawn, Define older, I’m 39 and those names will make your heart beat faster!
By Annie H on 07/27/2009 4:55 pm
Kami Budge

They didn’t have bodyguards because of one big point in your note:  No paparazzi.  When you have those idiots running around in front of your cars, climbing you walls, bothering your kids…cannot blame them in some situations.

By Kami Budge on 07/27/2009 4:45 pm
Margo Howard
I don’t think we even have celebrities of that caliber today.
By Margo Howard on 07/27/2009 6:36 pm
Dawn Smith
No we don’t. I think they are all gone now. I remember The Academy Awards and how tasteful, courteous and beautiful they all were. ( I still laugh at how quick-witted David Niven was when the streaker ran across the stage) Now it’s a circus of what-nots. We do have some exceptional actors but not of the caliber and glamour that once ruled Hollywood.
By Dawn Smith on 07/28/2009 7:37 am
Mommy Dearest
It was indeed better dish in the old days, Margo, dahling, wasn’t it?  Now it’s pervasive, tawdry and, frankly a bit b-o-r-i-n-g, isn’t it, my dear?
By Mommy Dearest on 07/28/2009 11:34 am
Fara Notter

Dear Margo

I couldn’t agree with you more, besides: haven’t these so-called celebs ever heard of the term "overexposure"??? I am sick of eaven reading about the so-called real celebrities, since their every move seems to be "news" these days! I insist on wanting to stay out of THAT, as I would go nuts, I know I would… Enjoying being a nobody,  F. N.

 

By Fara Notter on 07/27/2009 2:59 pm
K H
I’ve decided to stop watching TV. I’ll get my news from print sources. I’m out……… I can’t take it anymore. Maybe I’m too old. I just can’t stand it anymore. I DON’T CARE ABOUT JON AND KATE (their "plus 8" I pity) Spidey makes me physically sick, oh Dear God make it stop!!!!!! I don’t care who will be the next top model, the next food network star, the next fashion designer, who lasts the longest in the Big Brother House, who the baclorette is fake engaged to, which degenerate will hook up with the B list celeb of the moment, or how the "houswives" live their lives…such as they are. I’m exhausted and depleted. When there were only three TV channels there wasn’t enough time for this. 900 channels and nothing to watch! I’ll keep PBS…that’s it.
By K H on 07/27/2009 3:20 pm
Margo Howard
Well, as long as we’re talkin’ trash, I must say I find that John person ugly. And now I’m going back to work.
By Margo Howard on 07/27/2009 3:27 pm
Rachel M
I find his behavior to be unacceptable. He lives 133 miles away from his kids what happens if one gets sick, he does not see the kids (he uses the excuse that there are visitation issues), he is dating while he is separated from Kate - he if he had honor would wait for the final decree of the divorce. He is taking vacations, dating and now spending time with Michael Lohan (another bad father).
By Rachel M on 07/27/2009 3:57 pm
Lym BO
Right there with ya. I stopped watching TV shortly after college 15 years ago. I was totally hooked on some soaps & had to quit cold turkey. Now the only shows I watch, on rare occasion, are Scrubs, Everybody Loves Raymond, George Lopez & the occasional Comedy Central Stand Up on demand if the former aren’t on.  Oh yes & while I work out I watch some lame game show. Hub doesn’t watch TV either. It’s rather fun being clueless. My friends sometimes just sigh.     
By Lym BO on 07/27/2009 9:26 pm
Eldebbo C
I agree with you K H. All those channels and all that GARBAGE. That’s why I feel lucky I enjoy reading. Nothing better that curling up to a good book with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine (depending on the time of day)
By Eldebbo C on 07/28/2009 8:28 am
Lady Gator
K H — You forgot the heart wrenching "who lost the most weight show".  I’m in tune with you.  Just make it stop!!!!
By Lady Gator on 07/28/2009 2:30 pm
Lady Gator
And I forgot — "The Swan".  I’ve decided the History Channel is best.  Oh and TCM (Turner Classic Movies).  I love the musicals - they may be corny but at least there are no F words, no blood and gore.
By Lady Gator on 07/28/2009 2:34 pm
Andrew Scharnhorst
*laughing* I wonder how many of your readers are "poulet printemps"? Those of us who aren’t, get the joke … Like many of the respondents so far, I have to shake my head with amazed wonderment: Who are these people, and why should we waste our time on them? The so-called celebridreck are neither really famous — nor are going to be. Anyone who needs to call our attention to himself to make himself famous, is not worth our attention at all. And since they don’t deserve our attention, I’ll stop giving it to them … now.
By Andrew Scharnhorst on 07/27/2009 3:56 pm