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Candice Bergen | 10/07/2009 12:00 am

Candice Bergen Defines 'Bravery'

Candice Bergen

I’m not sure anything any of us has done can appropriately fall under the "bravery" banner when thousands of young kids have lost their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But to me, bravery is doing something you are afraid of. Writing a book, in my case (and which I would never have finished had it not been for our Joni). Having a child. For some, it’s a relationship.

Read more about: Adventure, Lifestyle, Personality

18 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Mary E. Sayler
The bravest that I have ever done is to deliver and keep the child I had, due to DATE RAPE.  I was single and in the process of adopting.  The  rescue plane with the child I was interested in, crashed in Viet Nam with only 5 survivors as I remember.  I was under all kinds of pressure—the moral standards placed on teachers, family standards, and societal pressures in general.  My parents knew nothing until July when I told them.  Their Grand-daughter was born in September.  My parent were wonderful.  Dad stated that "This was better then adopting" and Mom began finding all the baby things I would need and organized a shower for me.  My daughter was God’s gift to me and my parents acceptance was God’s gift to both of us.
By Mary E. Sayler on 10/07/2009 1:47 am
Effie Velardo
I think that is one of the bravest things I have ever heard. But I think just surviving the ordeal is the bravest part. I think most of us once we had an innocent baby inside us would have had it, because as women we are tied to that child. EV
By Effie Velardo on 10/07/2009 1:10 pm
Mugsy Peabody
Ms. Bergen, I beg beg beg of you to take up your camera again.  What can I possibly do to encourage you in that respect????
By Mugsy Peabody on 10/07/2009 3:40 am
Dee T
Bravery is the ultimate act of unselfishness, without thought of personal peril, dispair, or consequences. Some acts of bavery are sudden, while others span a lifetime.
By Dee T on 10/07/2009 5:26 am
Effie Velardo
I agree with your definition as a general one of bravery, but bravery is not always unselfish. For instance I was married for 25 to a man I did not love. I had 7 children by him and was a perfect wife and mother. As the children went to college etc. I wanted so much to end the marriage and finally did. But it was a "selfish act" to leave my home and husband and what children were left, it also took unbelievable courage to go out into a world alone and with no money or way to make it. But it was the best thing I ever did.  EV
By Effie Velardo on 10/07/2009 1:17 pm
Nancy Pea
i can agree with you about that. when i had my husband leave, i had to go on welfare and get food stamps (luckily we were already in a HUD building so rent wasn’t a problem) to make it. it was scary for me too at first but after it felt so good. you know the man your with is cheap if in the 80’s, you had more money in your pocket and food on the table without the husband, than with. i only stayed with him for 4yrs tho. my kids and i were better off without him and he abandoned them as time went on anyway. the only way we knew he existed was when he paid his little child support moneys. i just wish i had kicked him out sooner.
By Nancy Pea on 10/07/2009 11:06 pm
Rose Everett
Bravery means many things to different people. Our forefathers came to American leaving everything behind was brave, even though that word didn’t exist as much as fear of the unknown and wanting that freedom at any price. Bravery is all around us.The full view for me came watching the aftermath of 9-11.  What bravery!
By Rose Everett on 10/07/2009 9:12 am
Shani Canillas-Rucker

I would just love to commend all you women for having what it takes to be the "brave," strong women that you are!  I think we, as women, participate in acts of bravery on a daily basis; just some more intense than others.  Every day we make the choice to use our own voices to participate in the world around us.  Maybe it’s through teaching our children how to be responsible, caring individuals.  Maybe it’s through sustaining that career that some feel is not our place.  Maybe it’s through the juggling act of taking control of all those aspects of our lives that create a sense of fulfillment and joy.  And maybe, it’s through the simple act of shedding that protective layer, allowing someone to love us.  Whatever it is that makes us ALL brave, it is meaningful and dynamic!  Congrats out there to all you beautiful women!!

By Shani Canillas-Rucker on 10/07/2009 11:38 pm
Sarah Burris
I’m in constant awe of people who refuse to compromise who they are for convention or traditional expectations.  Working in politics pretty much bleeds the "different" out of you, but every once in a while I meet a political operative or a candidate who doesn’t say the right thing, and it doesn’t bother them and I’m secretly jealous.
By Sarah Burris on 10/07/2009 9:35 am
Deniseann Taylor
Being Brave has such a wide spectrum, I’ve meant and known people through out my life I sit in aha of because of the things they do and have done for OTHERS.  Firefighters and our Military in my eyes are the bravest people in the world.  But then on the other side of that spectrum it’s the Woman who gives birth to a beautiful little person, and she’ll spend the rest of her life ensuring the health and happiness of that awesome little person.
By Deniseann Taylor on 10/07/2009 10:32 am
sandra skolnik
Bravery to me is the same thing as courage.  Courage is not that you are afraid of something, but that you continue in the face of that fear.    Courage may be exemplified in something as obvious as saving someone’s life under dangerous circumstances, or as subtle as the courage to change or to take a risk in a life change.  I am grateful that I have  had the courage to face myself on a daily basis after living a clean and sober life for 25 years; that I faced and conquered breast cancer; that I faced death by being there for my mother and my younger sister who both died of cancer at home.  Sometimes courage is keeping your feet planted when you want to run, continuing to show up for life when you’ve lost everything that matters, including some of your dreams.  Continuing to believe in hope and life on those days when you want to give up.  Thank you Candice for this thought-provoking subject.
By sandra skolnik on 10/07/2009 10:45 am
Effie Velardo
Today the way the world is, it takes courage and bravery just to get up in the morning and face it. Any person who continues their life in a cheerful manner when they have no job, maybe no house, or even just to take care of children and face those awsome responsibilities is courageous Ev
By Effie Velardo on 10/07/2009 1:21 pm
S A

I believe bravery is a basic part to each person’s personality and character. Each person difines what requires a leap of bravery for them. Going solo against the norm of society may look brave to some but to the individual going solo it may be the only choice they have available. Bravery, therefore, is something that others see in a certain individual and that something is usually the thing they can’t imagine themselves doing.

Evil Knievel was brave because very few us viewers would ever consider doing what he did and he performed his stunts because he wanted to. That is the clearest definition of brave.

Courage, on the other hand, is the act of doing that which is extremely frightening.

Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who to change a world which yields most painfully to change. - Robert  F Kennedy

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don’t want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt. Madonna

The bravest act I ever witnesses was when I was barely 6 years olds. We went to visit my dad’s parents for a vacation. They had a dairy ranch in Texas. On morning all the penned animals began going wild and the dogs barking wildly. I ran out with my Grandmother and Daddy to also see what was happenin. The one and only bull had broken out of his coral and was running around in the open area between the house and the barn and the pens. He was attacking anything that caught his attention. At that time, my grandfather and uncle came out of the barn and the bull took off after my grandfather. I saw him thrown into the air and the bull then gore him on the ground. My Dad grabbed the broom from my grandmother’s hand, jumped off the porch and took off after the bull. He fought that bull off of my grandfather with a broom. Yes, my grandfather did survive, no, my dad was not hurt. The bull was shot the next day.

That is courage.

By S A on 10/08/2009 8:54 am
Susan Crawford

Years ago, as I was pulling into a parking space outside the local supermarket, I glanced into the car next to mine. In it was a man and a teenaged girl. Their windows were rolled up, but even through the glass, I could see that they were arguing, and that the girl, a slender blonde of about fourteen, was crying hysterically. Suddenly, as I exited my car, the girl flung her door open and started to run. The man pursued her and before she had gotten very far, he had grabbed her. By this time, the girl was completely hysterical, and as I headed toward them, her eyes met mine, and I saw the deepest fear I had ever seen in those blue, tear-filled eyes. So I yelled as loudly as my drama-club trained voice could, and told the man to let her go. He literally snarled at me, "Back off. This is my daughter, so back off or I’ll belt YOU."

That’s when I belted him. I don;t know where it came from, but I delivered a right cross that landed on his eye and sent him reeling. I put my arm around the girl, and hustled her into the market to safety, with the man shouting that he would kill me. When the police arrived, I was ready to be arrested for assault. I did go to the station, gave a statement, and no charges were ever pressed. I think I was fortunate to have escaped both the legal charges and physical harm, but frankly - I would do it again. Because the look in that girl’s eyes was a clarion call for help. And I was there.

By Susan Crawford on 10/08/2009 10:13 am
Carol Harrison

Bravery to me is going through a medical procedure for the first time even though I get highly anxious and what I anticipate and my mind spins like you do when you go to a gym and sit on one of those spinning bicycles.

Bravery is being a Canadian soldier (or American) fighting for what, I’m not sure, except preventing another 9/11 on American soil and coming back home with PTSS.

Bravery would be giving my life up to save my spouse.

By Carol Harrison on 10/08/2009 10:57 pm