Candice, I would never think of you as being a push-over. Granted, I don’t know you, but from the characters you’ve played (I’m thinking mostly of Murphy and Shirley), you seem to be a rather strong woman, direct and confident.

 Bullies are the worst, though, aren’t they? Ugh. I tried to tell myself that they picked on other because of how insecure they felt inside, but there are those few who I think were genuinely content with making others miserable. 

Candice…I am genuinely shocked to think you, of all people, would ever shirk from confrontation!  You are such a strong, outspoken woman whom I admire greatly.  Besides that…you’re blonde!!!  Being a blonde, native Texan woman of German heritage, one of my problems is keeping my mouth shut and butting into other people’s business!  I have always thought of you as a kindred spirit…:-)  Oh…btw…being a Virgo helps…;-)

You are definitely not a pushover and don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are.  I would be honored to stand beside you anytime!

I do love this site.  Not only am I amazed that I can have a dialogue with Candice Bergen, but even more amazing is I never believed that I would relate with her as much as I do.  

Candice, those feelings you mentioned - turning to sludge and those feelings of shrinking?  You have described me well.  At 46 I’m there, but I’m working hard at trying to empower myself through (a supportive husband helps). 

I’ve always been a bit of a dichotomy unto myself.  Opinionated & strong-willed, but at the same time, a pushover extraordinaire.  As a result, people have always taken advantage of me.

When I worked in the non-profit world, I found this to be especially the case.  I love working for non-profits, I enjoy knowing that the work I’m doing has a cyclical effect, but when working for a struggling non-profit (and so many are) the organization often survives solely on hard work and the generosity of others.  Because I have a personality that can be so easily taken advantage of though, I nearly lost myself in the process. 

I’ve found that there are two types of bullies.  The one that we are used to, arrogant, rude, narcissistic…  and the other is simply the apathetic bully.  The bully that really doesn’t mean their employee or fellow human harm, but it takes too much effort to be helpful or to say something that would stem the conflict.  These are just as common and perhaps as dangerous… at least in my case.

And of course, how we react to the bully makes all the difference, but if I had the simple answer to that, I wouldn’t be responding to this post, now would I?

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."  Philo of Alexandria.