Margo Howard | 07/20/2009 11:00 pm
Dummkopf, C'est Moi, by Margo Howard
Our ‘Dear Margo’ shares her blush-worthy celebrity gaffes and invites the community to share their embarrassing blunders.
Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.
I am reading an historical memoir involving WWI, France and England. Seeing a mention of Proust took me back to a wildly embarrassing gaffe I made. (One among many, I might add.) It was when I interviewed Gloria Vanderbilt some years ago for a People magazine cover story marking the occasion of her first book. I somehow got rattled (perhaps by her otherworldliness, her oddly rectangular smile and her uber-Locust Valley finishing school way of speaking). At some point in the interview I mentioned Proust – only I pronounced it as though it rhymed with "joust." The minute it was out of my mouth I knew it was incorrect. It is hard to believe I still remember that flub all these years later but, actually, I remember many of my gaffes … going back to childhood.
The most recent one probably occurred at a wOw party for founders, staff and contributors. Seeing Candice Bergen, I wanted to say hello. I had met her years ago at Hugh Hefner’s when he was still in Chicago, but that could have been no more than a "How do you do?" (She was absolutely gorgeous.) My more recent encounter with her had been when we both shopped at Gelson’s Market in Pacific Palisades in the ’80s. And "encounter" is probably not the right word. We never spoke … I just saw her grocery shopping. For some (dumb) reason, when I was introduced to her at the wOw party, I said, "The last time I saw you, you were shopping for produce at Gelson’s." What is there really to say to that? "Yes, I like celery"? She actually said what I say to people who have said something colossally brainless: "Ooooh-kaaaay."
I probably started thinking about people saying dumb things — often to celebrities — when I was married to one. When Ken Howard and I were married, "The White Shadow" and many miniseries and movies of the week had made his a very famous face. I heard fans come up to him and say, "You’re my greatest fan!" Or they would ask, "What have you been in?" After uncomfortably mentioning a few of his better-known works, the person would say, "No … that’s not it." My favorite flustered-to-meet-a-star riff went like this: We were in Placid visiting my daughter, a town where people are not particularly expecting to see someone from "Hollywood." Leaving a restaurant a man came up to him and said, "You know, you look just like Ken Howard." "Well," he said, "I actually am Ken Howard." To which the man replied, "No, but you really look like him."
Read more about: Candice Bergen, Comedy, Entertainment, Gloria Vanderbilt, Lifestyle, Margo Howard, Proust, Relationships
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103 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment
Well, I have an extraordinary abilty to meet famous people and not recognize them at all, which leads to a completely different variant of story.
My favorite is the Pen Gillette one:
Guy walked up to me at a science fiction convention in Boston, stuck out his hand, and said "Pen".
Being an obliging sort, I handed him a pen.
He was confused… "did you want me to sign something?"
"No, you asked for a pen…"
"Sorry", he said "I thought I was somebody"
"Who?" I said.
He cringed a bit, and then smiled and then peered at my chest, and then, by way of apolgizing for peering, said "I’m looking for a badge" (SciFi convention - everyone wears nametags)
Being in a bantery mood, I had a ready response: "What ever works for you sweetheart". He didn’t quite flee.
(but wait, there’s more)
He told the story on the Tonite Show.
A few months after the show aired, I called one of my clients, Marc Abrams, for a chat. "Is there anything you’d like to say to Pen Gillette?" (Pen was in the office)
"Tell him I’d like my pen back", I said.
"He say’s he guesses you saw the show", Marc said.
"Describe me", I said.
"He’s pounding his head against the wall", Marc said.
You owe me a paper towel—-I have to wipe the coffee off the computer screen…
Margo, that Ken Howard tale reminds me of a tale former Deep Purple organ player Jon Lord once told about an encounter with a "fan" in a pub. Aftr Lord was done playing a little session, a guy walked up to him and said, "You play just like Jon Lord!" To which Lord replied, "I am Jon Lord." The man responded, "Yeah, right." And walked away. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbn1MdvSbUw&feature=related
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://pagesperso-orange.fr/hard-rockcity/images/dico/dicol/flord.JPG&imgrefurl=http://pagesperso-orange.fr/hard-rockcity/lord.htm&h=281&w=333&sz=17&tbnid=cH-p4GBPsVMJgM:&tbnh=100&tbnw=119&prev=/images%3Fq%3Djon%2Blord&hl=en&usg=__ybktVOW_fNI3Tu7PubdlUr3V8u8=&ei=LFRlSu7_FI7aNauCqZwB&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=4&ct=image
Personally, I can’t recall one particular embarrassing moment - I guess most of my life has been an embarrassment! Well, wait, there was one really bad one. I had a significant newscast to do at WOOD radio once, and just as the news intro was playing I dropped all of the news copy on the desk. I scrambled to pick it up and organize it all, and got it out of order. Very embarrassing. But a learning experience: hang on tight to the copy. One thing I learned, too: never, ever assume a microphone is in the "off" position.
Margo, one of my MANY embarassing moments involved meeting a celebrity not once, but twice… and not recognizing him either time! Back in the late ’80s I was walking to salon near my office to get a haircut. As I walked down the sidewalk, I met a cute guy about my age who said Hi & I responded in kind, wondering how I knew him as he looked familiar. A month later, headed for another haircut, I met the same guy riding a bicycle. We exchanged hellos once again and again I’m thinking "Where have I seen this guy before? Did I date him back in the ’70s?"
A few weeks later, I was watching a favorite TV game show "Win, Lose or Draw" and as the stars were announced, out steps the same guy… Robbie Benson! I flipped out!
I knew he was teaching at the University of South Carolina (where I worked), but I hadn’t seen him in a movie in quite awhile. I’m sure he thought I was just trying to be cool… or either I was the worst actress on the planet! But I honestly didn’t know who he was! And of course, my friends & I got a BIG laugh about my wondering "Did I date him?"
A number of years ago my then-hubby were invited to ourneighbors’ party. Their home and backyard were flawlessly decorated.When talking to the hostess she mentioned that she was a dental technician.Without a thought I said something to the effect of," Oh I could do never that;I never could understand how anyone could stand looking in people’smouths all day !" OOPS