Sign in to wowOwow

Enter the email address that you used when registering at wowOwow.
The password field is case sensitive. Click here if you have forgotten your password.

Please register for wowOwow

Newsletter subscriptions
Sign up to receive wowOwow's weekly newsletter and get our best picks delivered right to your inbox. Our newsletter content is hand-picked by the wowOwow editorial team and provides the top features, news, and commentary from our site. Subscribing to our newsletter is free and safe. We will never share your email or other information with a third-party without your direct consent.
By registering, you indicate that you have read and agree
with our privacy policy and terms of service.

A Friend Stopped By | 06/30/2009 11:00 pm

An Ecologically Incorrect Hotel Trip, by Lynn Freed

The vaunted author and essayist on the dark side of environmentally friendly resorts — and values.
By Lynn Freed
Lynn Freed

Editor’s Note: Lynn Freed is the author of the novel The Servants’ Quarters, just published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. The recipient of the inaugural Katherine Anne Porter Award from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, she has written five other highly praised novels, a short story collection and an essay collection.

I turn sharply off the highway, up to the hotel, only to find my path blocked by a white Lexus. The couple in it gestures wildly at the bushy hillside. The man has a camera at the ready, the woman a pair of binoculars. I switch off my engine and wait. I am acquainted with this sort of behavior; it is practiced by game spotters in the African bush, citing a leopard, a cheetah, a lion making a kill. What one can hope for from a hillside in between Northern California’s Route 1 and the Pacific Ocean, I can’t imagine. A snake? A rabbit? Some more endangered creature given sanctuary by the ecologically correct, New Age barons of the tourist industry that have built this place?

Give or take a few phrases and a few hundred thousand dollars, the message is still Love. And Profit.

I start my car, tired of waiting. But just then two pointed ears appear above the grass and the couple is riveted. A doe and her faun trot out into the road, change their minds, turn back again and disappear. The couple turns to me, triumphant. They smile. I smile back. To have lived in Northern California for 20 years is to be inured to the tyranny of Reverence. Its objects are legion — Nature, Being, Love, Self, Loss, Grief, Pain, etc. And now, of course, Our Planet.

At the reception area of the hotel, I am offered herbal tea and instructed to abandon my car. An attendant in an electric cart drives me up the hill to the hotel itself. It is windy and cold up there, 1,200 feet above the Pacific. Most of the clientele, the attendant tells me, come up from Los Angeles. They come here to Replenish. A pair of them in thick terry robes swans past us down the path. They are smiling beatifically — not, it seems, at us or at even each other, but simply at Life. They are going, the attendant says, to the basking pool, which is open 24 hours a day, whenever the spirit moves you. "In a place like this," he suggests ominously, "it is best to follow wherever the spirit moves."

As we buzz along the path, he points out certain guest rooms, built on stilts among the trees; others that look like bunkers, with sod roofs, buried in the hill. No trees were felled to build this resort, he points out. Not even the roots of the trees have been disturbed. In fact, there is a living bench made out of living trees from which to watch living bass swim around a pond. There is also a wedding palette near the edge of the cliff on which those who wish to do so can be married.

The attendant, I decide, would make an excellent New Age Brown Shirt. Apart from his earring, his uniform, his short-cropped, blonde hair and muscled, tidy body, he has perfected, in tone and delivery, an edgy hint of threat, a distinct air of moral superiority.

8 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

joan larsen

Lynn … all you had to mention was "the basking pool" and I found that I too have had a like experience at the just-as-well unnamed resort that has a cousin - complete with too-much-said "basking pool" not that far up the coast for many more dollars than the experience was worth, except for "bragging purposes" afterward.  .  . oh, and a very depleted wallet.  Don’t they say:  "live and learn"??

Speaking for myself, the closeness to the ocean to get that ‘oneness from nature feel’ tends to give me a very damp, chill feeling.  .  you know, the feel that does not seem sympatico with romance??  For why else have you sold the family jewels to regain that "honeymoon feeling" once again?  Yes, it’s true that I love nature in all of its glory.  But there are many secret spots to most along that coast that bring you face-to-face with nature’s beauty at its finest, pretty much alone if you know your stuff, during the day.  Free, absolutely free.  "Nature" and "snob-dom" just don’t seem synonomous words.  Do they to you? 

I do have my favorite place whose name I hate to share - where beauty, privacy, secluded (no one can see you) balcony "for a bottle of wine and thou" I promise will make all your dreams come true and your body "satisfied".  It is a dream world, hidden away not that many miles from the money-eater resort, where you will have a new-found respect for the joys of a hidden world and an urge to renew your marriage vows for the first time in years.  Yes, THAT good.  Twist my arm and I may share its name — but then, as I think of it as my own love nest — maybe not!! 

 

 

By joan larsen on 07/01/2009 2:47 am
James the Game
Greets, Joan Larsen. Long time, no hear. How all is dandy.
By James the Game on 07/01/2009 10:26 am
joan larsen

A day without James is a day without sunshine.  You should know that.  And while I did not comment on your "like to stay home" and "don’t want to travel" tidbits dropped over time, I just have resisted saying that if I once got you out and travelling and mixing with a ton of new people that I know, you would be absolutely hooked.  That I can promise … unless you don’t like good times and lots of laughs — I insist that they is going to happen and it does.  It is like an instant renewal of spirits — and you are prime for a change of scene.  I can drag you out kicking and screaming, but I don’t think I have to.  You are fun and everyone - and I mean everyone - should know it.  And you know, Mr. James, that once outside your door, you are going to be irresistible to the women you sometimes talk about — as you will have more things to wow them with beside your good looks, of course.  Now aren’t you glad I am back??????  I knew it!!!!

 

 

By joan larsen on 07/01/2009 12:35 pm
James the Game
Very kind, Joan. Most people who know me describe me as fun-loving, humorous, down-to-Earth, overly-analytical, shy around attractive women, and a sports fanatic. I’m a little homely, but good-hearted. Don’t know who might be interested in that combination, but thanks for the kind words! Only about 60, very cloudy, and somewhat windy in Michigan. Supposed to warm up and sun up by the weekend.
By James the Game on 07/01/2009 4:44 pm
Star Lawrence
Thanks for being so ecological so I don’t have to….
By Star Lawrence on 07/02/2009 2:41 pm
Violet Althouse

Loved the essay.  I especially like the description of the attendant/bellhop as a "New Age brown shirt."  I have never been able to put into words how I feel about this kind of moral elitism, but your decription of this unnamed retreat reminds me of that skin crawling quality inherent to some dystopian literature, where everything is fine on the surface, but you stand the chance of mysteriously disappearing in the middle of the night if you give even the slightest appearance of not being a good cult member.  I am thinking of "The Giver." 

So what exactly is the draw of this ecologically correct hotel? It sounds uncomfortable and depressing.  I can think of better places for a roll in the hay and for less money. 

By Violet Althouse on 07/03/2009 3:57 pm
Susan Thomas

The article was great, the description of the haughtiness of the new "green movement" gave me a good laugh. Snobbism is snobbism, no matter what cause it is for, and to see people posing to be politically correct by " going green" is very funny, abeit a bit scary. My favorite place on earth is..my backyard.  Maybe if we did not rush about seeking the lastest "this" or the newest "that" we would find what we are looking for…peace and quiet in our own backyard.

By Susan Thomas on 07/03/2009 6:35 pm
Jennifer Tobias
I recently stayed in a "LEED" hotel in Michigan, all ecologically correct, down to the sparse lighting, concrete floors with non allergenic throw rugs, midcentury modern furniture in the restaurant/bar and common areas, etc.  It was interesting, at first.  The place felt like being in the Netherlands, and I enjoyed seeing the design.  Unfortunately, the spring weather was a weekend of grey monsoons.  By the second day, the cement floors and ceilings, low lighting and hard surfaces started to feel like "Cellblock D."   The common area furniture was hideously uncomfortable.  I longed for carpeting; it was cold outside, for God’s sake!  I don’t think these places will survive until they take into account our need for warmth, texture, color, light and comfort. 
By Jennifer Tobias on 07/05/2009 10:04 pm