I used to plan parties professionally.  Years, and years ago when I was a lowly and underpaid Personnel assistant at a computer company that was highly capitalized. 

Weekly beer bashes for 300.  Monthly hotel bashes for 300.  3 or so huge parties for 3000 per year.  All of which went swimmingly.  My horrid boss, who underpaid me, took all the credit.  (It gave me great pleasure when I found out that the first time she "planned the company Christmas party", they were buying alcohol at a local liquor mart, after the start of the event.  Not only late, but very expen$ive!)

But, I digress. 

Later, I did big parties for my college association, and then 18 years of 4 day catered meeting at hotels for my then technical training company.   Parties at home were no trouble, and the 50th wedding anniversary for my darling inlaws in Yosemite had her in joyous tears for how beautiful and meaningful it was.

I’ve done tons of huge parties, lots of catered meetings.  I plan a fabulous dinner party where I am chef, and bottle washer.  I plan on having plenty of time to hang with the guests.

But, in my opinion, no amount of prep, cleaning, planning and lists can overcome a bad life partner.

Ahem.

During the last big party we planned at our home with the soon to be ex, I had been studying for several securities licenses.  These are tremendously dull, but important.  I get through them by using a timer.  15 minutes studying, 15 minutes house work.  Thus giving my brain time to absorb the very dull but important facts.

(It’s the only time in my life I have ever leapt towards the laundry room with cries of joy:  Yes!  I can do *laundry!*)

Our house, from being tidy, was immaculate.  There was no party prep needed at all.  All the husband had to do was go to Costco and buy the list of food at 10 a.m.. I was, btw, utterly willing to skip church and shop myself.    He agreed that he’d be there at 10 a.m. when it opened.  He’d be back 11:30 ish,  I’d be back from church at 12ish, and that would give me an hour and a half to prep.

What happened?  Mr. Wunnerful, being his passive/aggressive self arrived with the food about 10 minutes before the guests arrived.  I worked the first hour and a half of the party frantically.  He hung out with the guests versus helping with the food.  No excuses at all.  Even though these weren’t his friends.   He is the definition of passive/aggression.

For the record, I would have preferred a No!  I won’t pick up the food!  Because then I would have taken care  of it myself.

If you want to plan a party, get a notebook.  Ask a few people what the goal is.  Write them down.

How much time do you have before the party?  Who do you want to invite?  Type of party:  Pool? Dance?  Dinner?  Cocktail?

Ask your family and pick it out into topics.  They are easy to organize.  It does help if your partner doesn’t want to shanghai you!

Cheers,

Constance in the Sierra Foothills

Queen of Events 

Do as much as possible ahead of time.

 If you have a friend or relative whose behavior will make you decide to lecture them ahead of time, don’t bother.  Call them after the party & claim their not getting an invitation is the fault of the post office.

My nature is small dinner parties with close friends as the social butterfly in me is shy in large settings.  I am actually hosting a party tomorrow with some 30 guests, it’s annual one.  I used to overwhelm myself with every little detail.  Now, my menu is simple but delicious and I do my shopping in spurts over the week, instead of all in one day. 

When my shyness reveals itself, I retreat to the kitchen for a while but as many know the kitchen is the best place of the party.  And for me it works great.  Best advice, lots of ice and relax.