Make it simple. Establish your own style and comfort zone. Plan ahead. Keep lists. Without help, make it possible for you to be part of the event. And, most important, when everything’s prepared, take a shower, lie down for a short nap, and then dress, and get the thing going. 

As a former consular wife, with no responsibilities for formal dining (my husband was a  local recruit,  not an ambassador or consul), I could entertain 20-30 guests in my home by doing what I do best, and no food had to be cooked 3 minutes before serving; also, buffets are acceptable, but make certain that everyone has access to a small table or a counter on which to place a tray/plate/glass. 

And, don’t worry about competing with any other hostess. Do your own thing! If you focus on several good/spectacular dishes you enjoy cooking, no one will pay attention to the quality of the furniture, the awkward seating, or the fact that you don’t have a butler!

And, do introduce your guests to each other. If your spouse/companion cannot, do it yourself, and the word will spread throughout the room. I’ve always enjoyed entertaining though I now live in a 1-bedroom Greenwich Village apartment, and some of my guests remained in their large family homes, but what I offer I consider special, so lack of space isn’t an issue, and if it is to some, then it’s their problem.

Also, because I enjoy conversation, I try to minimize the tasks I must perform during the event, and often, a guest will offer to help, which is fine with me. 

 By now, you must realize that I am not mainstream, and that  I make my own rules, as much as possible, and when guests spend time in my home for the first time, they often accept 2nd and 3rd invitations speedily and happily, not because I’m a genius, but because I enjoy entertaining, devising my own menu, and being well-organized. And, most important: before the event ask about food allergies or preferences! 

I’ve never had to opportunity to host a dinner party or any kind of entertainment. But when I do some day these are the things I will keep in mind:

1. Make sure the guests I invite are compatible.

2. Find out before hand what kinds of food, drinks and music my guests prefer.

3. Listen, listen, listen. This is their time to shine.

4. No heavy drinkers allowed. I myself prefer not to drink. and I do not like drunks.

5. Make childcare availble in another part of the house. If my granddaughter can’t come neither can I. For me paying for childcare is not an option. I do not want an evening of fun to be only for those who can ‘afford it’.

7. Point out bathrooms making sure they are well stocked before hand. Let guests know which rooms are off limits and which are not.

8. Have fun.

I’ve given many many parties at my home over the years……..

I do planning……organize everything to the smallest details.

Prepare food early……….

Decorate…..mainly Fresh Flowers everywhere.

But by the time the Party starts I’m so exhausted I don’t really have

a good time myself…….Everyone tells me I give great Parties.

Now that I’m really ancient……I offer my home for the family to use to give our family parties…….with the agreement they do all the work.

Preparation and clean up……..I’ll pay the bill.

Better yet I’d like to Hire Constance………….

Keep two things very dry, dahlings. 

Wit and martinis.