Not one of the greatest works, which are too emotional for everyday life. It would be Gentile Bellini’s The Miracle of the True Cross at the Bridge of San Lorenzo, which shows a religious procession in Venice that has been halted because someone dropped the piece of the True Cross into the canal. I have a small reproduction in my bathroom, and it never ceases to amuse me, thinking about what you would say if you had been the person who did it. "It’s not my fault — he pushed me"? Or "Hey, I said I was sorry; what more do you want"?

Also, I like picking out faces in the crowd, who are old friends from history, such as the artist himself and Queen Caterina of Cyprus, Venice’s answer to Grace Kelly. Instead of wondering who is the idiot who dropped the True Cross off the bridge, and how anyone is supposed to find a piece of old wood in the canal (it took a miracle), they are all standing around looking bored, no doubt fretting that the delay is going to make them late for their lunch dates.

Fortunately the Accademia is unlikely to let me have the real picture, because I don’t have the wall space.