"I was really lucky. With my metabolism, I was not lucky, but with my family I was triply lucky, and it more than made up for it."

Frank you are so lucky to have been born into that family - and they to have you.  Your book is on my list.  It would be surreal but delicious to have Eric Ripert approach my table and later wringing his hands in anticipation of my review of his food. 

Cent’anni!

When I think of Frank Bruni, I think of his, "Ambling into History", his book about Bush and the legacy thereof. I really liked that book and after looking for more Frank Bruni’s in the Times. 

This interview brought back memories of my brother’s wedding over 30 years ago.  He married a traditional Italian woman, from a very traditional family, a situation I had never run into before (I was 18 at the time). 

I will never forget meeting the family the day before the wedding for an "informal meal," after a long trip.  Traveling always gives me stomach problems; I have a history of ulcers and GERD, from a very young age.   It was an incredible spread at a long table with a lot of lovely new people to meet.  I ate some food and stopped to let it settle.  The mother-in-law immediately asked me what was wrong.  I said nothing was wrong, I was full.  She got very upset, and after some time, the table was cleared.  I asked my sister who was sitting next to me why the mother-in-law was upset, and she told me "Those were just the appetizers."  My mouth dropped.

There were two more courses of food and desserts, plural.  I pretended to nibble, left all the food that was pressed on me, on the plate, and drank a lot of water, trying to socialize and keep far away from the amazingly skinny mother-in-law.  I was determined not to make myself sick just to please her.  I recall thinking how rude I thought the situation was, and, in turn, how rude they thought I was being by not eating.  I was sick to my stomach the entire weekend from anxiety and couldn’t wait to leave and get back to college.

I have since met other traditional families, of many ethnic backgrounds, who went without during the Depression, and expressed "love" by forcing food on me.  I get the concept, I get it, I get it.  I have gone through lean times when I lived on carrots and friends’ garden offerings because I could not afford groceries.  I still don’t understand a culture so obsessed with making me feel guilty about not eating excessive amounts of food—please do not be insulted, anyone—but I have rights too.  

What a terrific interview! Frank Bruni seems to me to be every interviewer’s dream interviewee: smart, insightful, funny, and perceptive AND someone who revels in and uses language in a truly entertaining manner.

Food, family and love - what a devil’s triangle! Bruni came through his childhood and adolescence with what seems to me to be an almost uncanny, innate knowledge of the delicate maneuverings an overweight child has to master to forge ahead and cope with life and all it’s many twists and turns. Fortunately, Bruni made it through, retained his deep and abiding love for his family, kept his own sense of self, and continued to treasure the experience of fine food. His sense of humor - a great gift - shines through without in any way minimizing the real sadness of being overweight at a young age.

And kermie b, I read your post with a sense of deja vu. In my family, having a "groaning board" to set before guests was not just a metaphor - my mother was never happy until there was not a square inch left on any flat surface in the dining room that was left uncovered by something edible! And my dad beamed as guests went back for seconds and - bless their hearts - thirds, basking in the reflected glory of my mother’s exquisite cooking. Woe unto my girlfriends who were not the solid trencherpersons capable of downing that third helping of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding! Oh, the shame when yet another guest fell down on the job and bypassed a second heaping serving of lasagna! And I think, yes, it did spring from the Depression, from rationing and post-war austerity. Looking back, I also see that this was the mindset that made it so hard for me to understand how appetite and satiety work. My inner "works" were pretty jammed up with all those ginormous meals. It has taken me years to understand what constitutes a perfectly acceptable serving of food, and to listen to my body when it cries, "Hold! Enough!" Now when I go out to eat with friends, I often hear, "Is that ALL you’re eating? You hardly touched your food … " It is disconcerting, and yes, it is often guilt-inducing. But I just ask the server to bag the remainder, and I can enjoy another meal the next day without risking stomach aches and digestive dilemmas. And it isn’t particular ethnicities that are wont to lay this "Eat! Eat!" trip on us. It goes back, simply, to the food is love, love is food equation.

Again, what a wonderful interview this was - Bruni is sheer delight, and I look forward to reading what seems to be a marvelous memoir.

What a wonderful interview.  I will miss Frank Bruni’s restaurant reviews. I like knowing more about him as a person and will definitely read his book.

Bill Hillman