In the (paraphrased) words of Elwood P. Dowd (from the play/movie "Harvey")….

"I’ve been smart and I’ve been nice.  And in my opinion, it is much better to be nice."

Me too :)

I agree with the other posters here that a genius IQ doesn’t mean a lot by itself.  Social skills, common sense, and an average IQ will carry you much farther in life.

I have an uncle with a 157 IQ, no social skills and no common sense.  He is exceptionally smart in his own way, but alienates others with his pompous and self-centered attitude.  To top it off, he is often flat-out wrong about basic facts, mainly because he makes sweeping assumptions on various subject without listening to anyone else’s experiences… after all, what could they possibly know that he doesn’t?

Indeed, a high I.Q. is only that if it isn’t combined with social skills, and a bit of common sense. A MENSAN friend invited me to a lunch in Greenwich Village where I live where a group of MENSANs met. Conversation was not brilliant, social skills or plain charm lacking, and all the participants could do was  talk about themselves. Some tried to do their "smart spiel," but it was laughable. Always proving one is intelligent is a great burden. Get over it!

There are many highly intelligent people who don’t take the test or don’t want to qualify to join this self-segregated group; as a teacher, mother, and intellectual, my messge is: "Function in the world!" and stop focusing on brilliance, and do enjoy what you do; forget the BS.

When I was a child my mother was a psychology grad student at a university where they put me through all sorts of intelligence tests. I tested off the top but you wouldn’t know it to look at my life now decades later. Getting along in the world is much different from sensitivity to pattern and structure.

Growing up I discovered I will never be able to talk about those tests and experiences with people because they don’t care, don’t understand, don’t get anything from it and never will. So I’m ‘left’ to learn how to relate to ‘stupid’ people and find my way. It turned out completely different from what I expected.

My first job was as a teacher’s aid in a classroom for retarded children. I found the students had some great traits I picked up to deal with people. I found humor, restraint, and a never-ending struggle to life their life. I learned to appreciate any love or respect thrown my way. 

I still wish I could talk to someone about my childhood, but even my therapist—once I had the courage to bring it up—immediately challenged me to articulate the use or importance of my test results. I simply can’t impress anyone with my different brain or even talk about how it impacts my experience of life.

In contrast, as many of the posts here indicate, a kind word or favor goes a long way, doesn’t it? So what is intelligence?? Nobody cares that I solved the Rubik’s cube. They just want me to listen to and love them. Fine, so be it. 

A "secretive" group? I don’t know where you got that impression, Lesley! We were delighted to have you visit us in Denver.

Mensa obviously isn’t a very homogenous group, we have all personality types, some are more fun & interesting than others. While gifted children may have better support these days, many of us were not treated well in our early school years (either by classmates or teachers), so it’s good to be with people who can relate to that.

Certainly some Mensans date each other, but I wouldn’t say we’re really a dating group! It’s just a place to socialize, meet interesting people of all types, and have fun!