“I’ve had heartaches, headaches, toothaches, earaches and I’ve had a few pains in the ass; but I’ve survived to tell about it,” said that wise philosopher Dolly Parton. Go see Dolly’s musical “9 to 5” on Broadway and you’ll see what she means. You’ll also have a helluva good time.

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The two great Queens – Elizabeth I and the so-called Mary, Queen of Scots – had both been put up against one another for the Tony Awards on the day I went to see Friedrich Schiller’s “Mary Stuart.” (This classic has now been adapted by Peter Oswald.)

Janet McTeer is Mary and Harriet Walter is Elizabeth, and what fabulous queens they are! These royals and embattled cousins never met in real life, but Schiller decided they should have. The Schiller-Oswald play is mighty and powerful with writing that blows you away.

We must give credit, too, to director Phyllida Lloyd, also Tony nominated. I’ll just note as a curiosity that she directed the stage and screen versions of the massive hit “Mamma Mia!” (A woman for all seasons.)

This production has no trappings, no furniture. It exists in sound and the emphasis of the actors. The queens are queenly in dress and demeanor. The men surrounding them are in modern business suits. I suppose it’s to show the villainy of “suits” up to their own pursuits. It’s an interesting conceit and I thought it jarring, but I’m old-fashioned. I was happy to see a thoughtful performance by an actress I admire, Maria Tucci, as Mary’s nurse.

We can never get enough of the Tudors and the Stuarts. They’re in our blood; perhaps for some Americans, they are our blood. But Ms. McTeer and Ms. Walter have given them formidable new dimension. This is an unforgettable evening.

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So sad to report that my onetime Sports Illustrated pal, Bud Shrake, has died in Austin of lung cancer and complications. Bud had been living the straight and narrow life for years – no booze, taking care of himself and, during the years of Gov. Ann Richards’ ascendancy and until her death, he was her favored male companion.

Bud had never quite been the same since Ann’s death three years ago come September. He missed her fiercely. Bud was a wonderful novelist and sportswriter and often the writing partner to the famous Dan Jenkins of Semi-Tough fame. His gang up at Elaine’s in New York will really miss him. He is being buried next to Ann in Austin.

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Sorry to oppress you about our friend Madonna but she seems to me to be one of rare ones making any news these days. (Falling off horses, trying to adopt impoverished children; it’s still front-page fodder.)

So I just had to ask a member of her inner circle: What was up with Madonna’s wacky outfit at the Metropolitan Museum Costume Gala last week? (Were those antlers on her head, or antennae to contact aliens?) Especially since she attended with her friend, young Jesus Luz, who looked sensational and was wearing a traditional black-tie tuxedo. The answer came: “Liz, she is never going to be what some of her fans want – a woman in classic glamour couture, all the time. She is on the edge, fashionwise, and every other way. Look, she was having fun that night. She wasn’t taking herself or her clothes seriously. Given her workload and a personality that never lets her rest, we’re always happy when she just has fun!”


Madonna © Robin Platzer/Twin Images