The Liz Smith Column | 03/31/2009 11:00 pm
Liz Smith: Run for Cover, Girl – Rihanna's Got a Gun

“Kierkegaard noticed that the less support an idea has, the more fervently it must be believed in, so that a totally preposterous idea requires absolute unflinching faith.” This is from Richard Kehl’s book of unusual quotes, Breathing on Your Own.
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Warner Bros. is metaphorically puttin’ on its top hat, brushin’ off its tails. They are making big plans to reveal No. 6 in the “Harry Potter’ movie series this coming July. And just think — we’ll still have two more movies starring Harry after that!
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In the matter of Rihanna having a revolver tattooed on her right side, I’d really like to hear an explanation as to what exactly that means to this beautiful star. The New York Daily News seems to be saying that her CoverGirl endorsement people won’t be happy with this tattoo turn. But then, can’t she use CoverGirl to cover it up?
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I broke the news the other day that Jacqueline Bisset will appear as the female lead in a new CBS pilot, “The Eastmans.” (This will be the beauty’s first TV pilot.)
Now I can tell you that Donald Sutherland has been cast to play Jackie’s husband on the show. Miss Bisset is said to be thrilled by the project and with her leading man. (Now, please don’t make me explain that Donald Sutherland is much more than the father of Kiefer “24” Sutherland!)

Donald Sutherland Image: Wikipedia
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The famous Mandrake column of London notes that Uma Thurman once was cast as the mythical Venus (in “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen”) and now she will be cast as Medusa, the snake-haired deity who turns mortals to stone. (This happens in the fantasy film “Percy Jackson.”) In this movie, Pierce Brosnan will play the centaur Chiron and Sean Bean will take a crack at being the mighty Zeus.
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Speaking of antiquity’s powerful females, remember Xena, the Warrior Princess? OK, she was a made-up character for a TV series. But she was played by the imposing Lucy Lawless. (An actress who once, briefly, worked as a gold miner in Australia!) I lost track of Lucy after “Xena” went off the air, but now she’s heading back to the small screen in a familiar genre.
She will appear as Lucretia in “Spartacus: Blood and Sand.” This is the true-life tale of the great slave revolt against the Romans, led by Spartacus. Kirk Douglas created him memorably on the big screen, back in 1960. For this version, the reluctant gladiator/rebel leader will be played by Australian actor Andy Whitfield. And this cable effort for the Starz network is no cheap deal. The director is Sam Raimi of the “Evil Dead” and “Spider-Man” movies.
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The producers of “Spring Awakening” wonder why it’s not still running on Broadway. (It did run for two and a half years and won eight Tony awards as well as a Grammy.) This musical of German teenage angst opened recently in London at the Lyric Hammersmith to eight five-star reviews and then transferred to the West End. It had hot receptions in both Budapest and Finland and 18 countries have licensed it. The producers insist they will be in every major city through 2010 and – back on Broadway!
























16 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment
I was already happy to hear the news of the Jacqueline Bisset production. Donald Sutherland? It just keeps getting better (and classier…see following comments) all the way.
I had read (and perhaps I am wrong?) that Rihanna had gotten three gun tattoos, not one. Query: Why? Explain that one to your grandchildren, if you make it that far.
As for grandmothers, I only pray that Lourdes breaks free, and flies, little bird, flies, into replicating every single thing her mother has done, including bullwhips, ballgags, anything involving orifices and birthing unwed and young ("Papa Don’t Preach.") Maybe Madonna will be spared the humiliation of having her grave rolled around on. Payback is hell. It does give one (meno)pause, doesn’t it? Get to work, Lourdes and have fun.
Would someone please go talk to Marlene Dietrich’s daughter about those fond memories of Mama and the nurturing that went on in that household? And I loved Dietrich. Loved her. But would I have wanted to be her daughter? No THANK you.
Let’s finish with true class. Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon? What a couple. Totally dedicated to their family and craft. Mr. Bacon in Taking Chance? Amazing work, just amazing.
This tattoo business seems like much ado about nothing. The gun tat is about the size of nickel and if Cover Girl really cared, they would never have hired her—this is what, her 11th tattoo? All of her tats are small and strategically placed so they are not that noticeable. I seriously didn’t know she had as many tats and she has….
Purportedly Rihanna had a hit song titled, Bang Bang? and the tattoo of the gun is a homage to this big hit record. I don’t know, I know nothing about her music, but clearly money doesn’t buy smarts if her behavior of the past month is any indication. I suspect her seeming cluelessness is also a result of a generational difference and the bubble really rich 20 year old exist in. I have no idea whether she went beyond high school. She is not linking her choice of men, her beating and then showing up with a gun tatooed on your body to subliminal behaviorial choices she is making.
Hey, she may simply be cute and clueless like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and all those other dippy chicks running around faking celebrity.