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The Liz Smith Column | 03/31/2009 11:00 pm

Liz Smith: Run for Cover, Girl – Rihanna's Got a Gun

Rihanna © Getty Images

“Kierkegaard noticed that the less support an idea has, the more fervently it must be believed in, so that a totally preposterous idea requires absolute unflinching faith.” This is from Richard Kehl’s book of unusual quotes, Breathing on Your Own.

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Warner Bros. is metaphorically puttin’ on its top hat, brushin’ off its tails. They are making big plans to reveal No. 6 in the “Harry Potter’ movie series this coming July. And just think — we’ll still have two more movies starring Harry after that!

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In the matter of Rihanna having a revolver tattooed on her right side, I’d really like to hear an explanation as to what exactly that means to this beautiful star. The New York Daily News seems to be saying that her CoverGirl endorsement people won’t be happy with this tattoo turn. But then, can’t she use CoverGirl to cover it up?

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I broke the news the other day that Jacqueline Bisset will appear as the female lead in a new CBS pilot, “The Eastmans.” (This will be the beauty’s first TV pilot.)

Now I can tell you that Donald Sutherland has been cast to play Jackie’s husband on the show. Miss Bisset is said to be thrilled by the project and with her leading man. (Now, please don’t make me explain that Donald Sutherland is much more than the father of Kiefer “24” Sutherland!)

2009_0401_wikipedia_Donald_Sutherland.jpg
Donald Sutherland Image: Wikipedia

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The famous Mandrake column of London notes that Uma Thurman once was cast as the mythical Venus (in “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen”) and now she will be cast as Medusa, the snake-haired deity who turns mortals to stone. (This happens in the fantasy film “Percy Jackson.”) In this movie, Pierce Brosnan will play the centaur Chiron and Sean Bean will take a crack at being the mighty Zeus.

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Speaking of antiquity’s powerful females, remember Xena, the Warrior Princess? OK, she was a made-up character for a TV series. But she was played by the imposing Lucy Lawless. (An actress who once, briefly, worked as a gold miner in Australia!) I lost track of Lucy after “Xena” went off the air, but now she’s heading back to the small screen in a familiar genre. 

She will appear as Lucretia in “Spartacus: Blood and Sand.” This is the true-life tale of the great slave revolt against the Romans, led by Spartacus. Kirk Douglas created him memorably on the big screen, back in 1960. For this version, the reluctant gladiator/rebel leader will be played by Australian actor Andy Whitfield. And this cable effort for the Starz network is no cheap deal. The director is Sam Raimi of the “Evil Dead” and “Spider-Man” movies.

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The producers of “Spring Awakening” wonder why it’s not still running on Broadway. (It did run for two and a half years and won eight Tony awards as well as a Grammy.) This musical of German teenage angst opened recently in London at the Lyric Hammersmith to eight five-star reviews and then transferred to the West End. It had hot receptions in both Budapest and Finland and 18 countries have licensed it. The producers insist they will be in every major city through 2010 and – back on Broadway! 

16 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Washington  Cube

I was already happy to hear the news of the Jacqueline Bisset production.  Donald Sutherland?  It just keeps getting better (and classier…see following comments) all the way.

I had read (and perhaps I am wrong?) that Rihanna had gotten three gun tattoos, not one.  Query: Why? Explain that one to your grandchildren, if you make it that far.

As for grandmothers, I only pray that Lourdes breaks free, and flies, little bird, flies, into replicating every single thing her mother has done, including bullwhips, ballgags, anything involving orifices and birthing unwed and young ("Papa Don’t Preach.")  Maybe Madonna will be spared the humiliation of having her grave rolled around on. Payback is hell.  It does give one (meno)pause, doesn’t it?  Get to work, Lourdes and have fun. 

Would someone please go talk to Marlene Dietrich’s daughter about those fond memories of Mama and the nurturing that went on in that household? And I loved Dietrich.  Loved her.  But would I have wanted to be her daughter? No THANK you.

Let’s finish with true class.  Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon?  What a couple.  Totally dedicated to their family and craft.  Mr. Bacon in Taking Chance? Amazing work, just amazing.

By Washington Cube on 04/01/2009 12:32 am
angela bruno
She won’t be ‘returning’ to the small screen with ‘Spartacus’, she’s been on Battlestar Galactica for 4 years now.
By angela bruno on 04/01/2009 4:37 am
Della Della
Are you confusing her with actress Kandyse McClure? Rihanna’s on BG? Hmmmn.
By Della Della on 04/03/2009 11:35 am
Cheryl Mitchell
Rihanna is in serious need of theraphy.  If she was my daughter I’d be worried all the time.
By Cheryl Mitchell on 04/01/2009 7:53 am
f p
Agreed—
By f p on 04/01/2009 8:20 am
Debbie Brink
to Angela:  You took the words right out of my mouth. :)
By Debbie Brink on 04/01/2009 12:58 pm
Beth Cornell
I can’t wait for this Bisset and Sutherland show to start!! :) This is getting better and better. I wonder whom else they will come out of hiding for this drama?
By Beth Cornell on 04/01/2009 1:26 pm
Cheryl Mitchell
Beth, talking about glamour! these two get top billing from me ;>
By Cheryl Mitchell on 04/01/2009 2:10 pm
Beth Cornell
Cheryl. I couldn’t agree more!
By Beth Cornell on 04/01/2009 2:30 pm
D C
I don’t think she needs therapy. A gun is not the worst tattoo one can get on their body. I think we do not know the meaning behind it and further more shouldn’t judge. Frankly, I think more people need to concentrate on their own lives and children and worry less about someone else’s life.
By D C on 04/01/2009 6:26 pm
Chrome Toe
carlos leon… totally doable. did a great job in his tiny role in Traffic. i figure it really MUST be hard to make it in that business if a guy whose connected to madonna and looks like that and is talented never gets any work.
By Chrome Toe on 04/01/2009 7:50 pm
lannie elliott

This tattoo business seems like much ado about nothing. The gun tat is about the size of nickel and if Cover Girl really cared, they would never have hired her—this is what, her 11th tattoo? All of her tats are small and strategically placed so they are not that noticeable. I seriously didn’t know she had as many tats and she has….

By lannie elliott on 04/01/2009 9:29 pm
MS. Gerry Sarkisian
Rhiana and Chris Brown are young people who have gotten alot of money quickly and feel that they are above the law and good manners. They both need in depth therapy. Why should we the public accept such bad behavior. Why is Cover Girl still endorsing her.  Why does the networks still continue to talk about them. They are adding to the problem.
By MS. Gerry Sarkisian on 04/02/2009 11:41 am
Eldebbo C
Does anyone know if the tv show "Dirty Sexy Money" is still being filmed? It stared Donald Sutherland and it was a really good show - my opinion, of coarse. If he is in the pilot of another show, then maybe not, that would make me sad. I’ve been waiting for it to come back on.
By Eldebbo C on 04/02/2009 5:29 pm
Victoria J

Purportedly Rihanna had a hit song titled,  Bang Bang? and the tattoo of the gun is a homage to this big hit record. I don’t know, I know nothing about her music, but clearly money doesn’t buy smarts if her behavior of the past month is any indication. I suspect her seeming cluelessness is also a result of a generational difference and the bubble really rich 20 year old exist in. I have no idea whether she went beyond high school. She is not linking her choice of men, her beating and then showing up with a gun tatooed on your body to subliminal behaviorial choices she is making.

Hey, she may simply be cute and clueless like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and all those other dippy chicks running around faking celebrity.

By Victoria J on 04/02/2009 6:25 pm