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The Liz Smith Column | 08/06/2009 11:00 pm

Liz Smith: Farrah and Ryan – The Dark Side

Also from Our Gossip Girl, a famous ‘séance’ becomes an opera.
© Getty Images
"She was the most beautiful woman in a room full of beautiful women," says the great mentor Sue Mengers of Hollywood’s Farrah Fawcett. This was back in the days when Sue was running the careers of both Farrah and Ryan O’Neal.

So, while we’re thinking of this, let’s give a "brava" to writer Leslie Bennetts, one of the best when it comes to examining pop culture hero and heroines. We’re talking now about Leslie’s new Vanity Fair piece on Farrah.

***

Farrah was, as Ms. Bennetts indicates, a much more complicated woman than her one-dimensional big-mane-of-hair image suggested. There was steel beneath the velvet sweetness, and something a bit darker under that oft-giddy façade.

I always felt Farrah expressed a great deal of herself through her later dramatic work. ("Murder In Texas," "The Burning Bed," "Extremities," "Small Sacrifices," "The Apostle.") I never wrote this while Farrah was alive, because I thought it might hurt her and she and I were Texas friends. But I sensed a certain masochism in how she totally submerged herself in the intense, usually suffering women she portrayed; she was relaying messages about her own life, her experiences as a woman and as a world-famous figure. (There is a telling moment in the TV miniseries "Poor Little Rich Girl," based on the life of heiress Barbara Hutton. Toward the end, one of the characters turns on Farrah-as-Hutton: "Nobody could put up with you. You are impossible!" And Fawcett replies with a raw croak, "Don’t you think I know it?" I had a feeling Farrah had played that scene already.)

And for sure, there was masochism in her long, tumultuous relationship with Ryan O’Neal, who was (and is) both a charmer and a brute.

Here is a story I was told years ago, by a source I trusted. In the early days of their romance, Farrah and Ryan were on a plane, heading to or returning from Europe. They were alone in a section of the first-class cabin. Suddenly a big ruckus was overheard – it sounded like somebody was being roughed up. It went on for so long and so ferociously that the singer Ella Fitzgerald, also aboard, rose from her seat and was about to storm in and put an end to it. But a member of Farrah and Ryan’s entourage stopped Ella, "No, don’t. Don’t interfere. This is their ‘thing.’" Of course, Farrah had quite a temper – maybe it was Ryan who was being roughed up. And more power to Farrah if it was! (The tougher side of Farrah was revealed when her face was in repose. She wasn’t really that beautiful unless she had the smile going. Without it, she could look almost plain, and very determined, nobody’s brainless pinup.)

As to Bennetts’ anecdotes in the VF piece, they are astonishing. Almost everything Ryan says is shocking or unpleasant – even when he’s "just joking." The quotes from Ryan about his own children, well … I didn’t think I could be more sympathetic toward Tatum O’ Neal than I already am, but Ryan’s words were the limit! I’m surprised Tatum and the rest of his kids can function at all. In some quarters Ryan is being praised for at least admitting he has been and is a terrible parent. Fine. He has some self-knowledge. Then he calls his daughter Tatum a "bitch" for writing her own life story.

Still, Tatum takes a more forgiving attitude. She shrugs it off now. She even seemed somewhat amused that Ryan didn’t recognize her at Farrah’s funeral, and tried to pick her up! (I’ll never forget the paparazzi pics of Ryan screaming at Tatum, on a beach somewhere – she was still a teenager – and Tatum’s stricken, sobbing retreat from her enraged parent.)

64 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Laura Ward
Let’s see, Ryan O’Neal said he wants to send two of his five children back? Wonder how many of them want to send him back?
By Laura Ward on 08/07/2009 12:30 am
Laura Ward
Ryan O’Neal thought it was so humorous that he hadn’t seen his daughter in so long to make it public that that he had actually made a pass at his beautiful only daughter at her stepmother’s funereal. Mmmm, what that does that make Ryan? Creepy is the leest word.
By Laura Ward on 08/07/2009 12:41 am
Baby  Snooks
Oh, that’s the least of it.  Added to the maelstrom is the college sweetheart who apparently had an ongoing on-and-off something or other with Farrah after she and Lee Majors split up. That may or may not end up in court.  He apparently managed and owned part of her website. Until recently. 
By Baby Snooks on 08/07/2009 12:52 am
Laura Ward

Least (spelling)…Read autobiographies by John McEnroe and Allegra Huston to know the bully that Ryan O’Neal is really is about. He must have been nicer to Farrah, or, oh well, who know what she must have gotten from Ryan O’Neal until she got fed up.

By Laura Ward on 08/07/2009 12:59 am
Baby  Snooks
The problem is she never really got fed up.  She was, in a way, like a moth drawn to a flame.  
By Baby Snooks on 08/07/2009 9:55 am
Kelly In Texas

Yep Ryan does not seem like someone that I would care to spend time around…but obviously he and Farrah had something between them that was not evident or on display for the public.

What I find very distrubing about this article is that someone would describe herself as " friends" with Farrah and then disparage Farrah that she "wasn’t really that beautiful, unless she had that smile going". A left-handed compliment to Farrah’s "tough" side.

I think that that manner in which she handled her illness and death were more of a tribute to her strenght of character than any speculation of "if she roughed up" Ryan.

She was an undeniable beauty.

I found this article distrubing on many levels….but the need to bring down a woman, a woman of beauty and talent was the most evident. After she is gone, of course.

Integrity? Friendship?

I think not.

By Kelly In Texas on 08/07/2009 12:47 pm
Baby  Snooks
No offense but Farrah Fawcett brought herself down, as did Michael Jackson, long before she died. 
By Baby Snooks on 08/07/2009 1:16 pm
Kelly In Texas

Farrah Fawcett in the same sentence as Michael Jackson? Are you for real here?

Ah…alrighty then.

Beautiful woman, obviously threatening to some.

By Kelly In Texas on 08/07/2009 1:37 pm
Baby  Snooks

The reality of Redmond is he is a reflection of both his parents. Not just one. 

By Baby Snooks on 08/07/2009 1:50 pm
Kelly In Texas

Absolutely Baby Snooks…is he artistic like Farrah?

Or are you attempting to say that Redmond has no redeeming qualities as a human being? I don’t get your comment.

Please refresh my memory as to what Farrah has been convicted of in a court of law….or even charged with…besides her one divorce….

By Kelly In Texas on 08/07/2009 2:11 pm
J. Young

Kelly In Texas,

While I do read Ms. Liz from time to time.  You have to understand who Liz Smith really is, this is a person who absoulutely "ADORES" Madonna. Keep that in mind.  Everyone knows that Farrah Fawcett was gorgeous and seemingly a very good hearted person.  I agree with you that she handled her illness and death with enormous courage and strength, but there have been areas where I’ve had to wonder who was this woman?  Why did she leave Redmond with Ryan, allowing him to live with Ryan?  Why?  Did she not see the violence that Griffin and Tatum withstood?  That is eating me up moreso than anything?  She saw how he was to his other children and to her for God’s sake.  So I am troubled by that alone.  But what you wrote was beautiful and true.

By J. Young on 08/10/2009 9:35 pm
Kelly In Texas

I understand J. Young…and I agree with you…no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors…

Thanks for your posts.

FSM~

By Kelly In Texas on 08/11/2009 9:09 am
Baby  Snooks

As I said the silver lining of the dark cloud of Michael Jackson was his dying shortly after he did spared us the salacious side of her last days. 

Quite a few have Farrah stories. In Houston as well as Los Angeles. Most will probably wait until Ryan has died and can’t sue them. 

I miss Sue Mengers. God the books she should be writing. Maybe she’s waiting until they all die so they cant sue her. 

By Baby Snooks on 08/07/2009 12:45 am
Mary Utrup
All of the "raking up" of the ups and downs of the relationship between Ryan O’Neal and Farrah Fawcett won’t change a thing now. It’s always very regretable when a romance hits the low side. I think it’s more important that we remember all of the love and attention Ryan poured into Farrah’s care at the end of her life. It was said repeatedly that he was the only one who could really make her smile at the end. It’s completely bizarre that he would try and "pick up" ANYONE at Farrah’s funeral…so apparently regret will always be a part of his profile. All the same his devotion and attention had to have been a great comfort to Farrah as she approached the end of her life. May all of us have someone really care when our time comes!
By Mary Utrup on 08/07/2009 5:22 am
Laura Ward
Yes, Ryan poured a lot of attention for Farrah on TV too…
By Laura Ward on 08/07/2009 12:07 pm