Sign in to wowOwow

Enter the email address that you used when registering at wowOwow.
The password field is case sensitive. Click here if you have forgotten your password.

Please register for wowOwow

Newsletter subscriptions
Sign up to receive wowOwow's weekly newsletter and get our best picks delivered right to your inbox. Our newsletter content is hand-picked by the wowOwow editorial team and provides the top features, news, and commentary from our site. Subscribing to our newsletter is free and safe. We will never share your email or other information with a third-party without your direct consent.
By registering, you indicate that you have read and agree
with our privacy policy and terms of service.

The Liz Smith Column | 08/06/2009 11:00 pm

Liz Smith: Farrah and Ryan – The Dark Side

Also from Our Gossip Girl, a famous ‘séance’ becomes an opera.
© Getty Images
"She was the most beautiful woman in a room full of beautiful women," says the great mentor Sue Mengers of Hollywood’s Farrah Fawcett. This was back in the days when Sue was running the careers of both Farrah and Ryan O’Neal.

So, while we’re thinking of this, let’s give a "brava" to writer Leslie Bennetts, one of the best when it comes to examining pop culture hero and heroines. We’re talking now about Leslie’s new Vanity Fair piece on Farrah.

***

Farrah was, as Ms. Bennetts indicates, a much more complicated woman than her one-dimensional big-mane-of-hair image suggested. There was steel beneath the velvet sweetness, and something a bit darker under that oft-giddy façade.

I always felt Farrah expressed a great deal of herself through her later dramatic work. ("Murder In Texas," "The Burning Bed," "Extremities," "Small Sacrifices," "The Apostle.") I never wrote this while Farrah was alive, because I thought it might hurt her and she and I were Texas friends. But I sensed a certain masochism in how she totally submerged herself in the intense, usually suffering women she portrayed; she was relaying messages about her own life, her experiences as a woman and as a world-famous figure. (There is a telling moment in the TV miniseries "Poor Little Rich Girl," based on the life of heiress Barbara Hutton. Toward the end, one of the characters turns on Farrah-as-Hutton: "Nobody could put up with you. You are impossible!" And Fawcett replies with a raw croak, "Don’t you think I know it?" I had a feeling Farrah had played that scene already.)

And for sure, there was masochism in her long, tumultuous relationship with Ryan O’Neal, who was (and is) both a charmer and a brute.

Here is a story I was told years ago, by a source I trusted. In the early days of their romance, Farrah and Ryan were on a plane, heading to or returning from Europe. They were alone in a section of the first-class cabin. Suddenly a big ruckus was overheard – it sounded like somebody was being roughed up. It went on for so long and so ferociously that the singer Ella Fitzgerald, also aboard, rose from her seat and was about to storm in and put an end to it. But a member of Farrah and Ryan’s entourage stopped Ella, "No, don’t. Don’t interfere. This is their ‘thing.’" Of course, Farrah had quite a temper – maybe it was Ryan who was being roughed up. And more power to Farrah if it was! (The tougher side of Farrah was revealed when her face was in repose. She wasn’t really that beautiful unless she had the smile going. Without it, she could look almost plain, and very determined, nobody’s brainless pinup.)

As to Bennetts’ anecdotes in the VF piece, they are astonishing. Almost everything Ryan says is shocking or unpleasant – even when he’s "just joking." The quotes from Ryan about his own children, well … I didn’t think I could be more sympathetic toward Tatum O’ Neal than I already am, but Ryan’s words were the limit! I’m surprised Tatum and the rest of his kids can function at all. In some quarters Ryan is being praised for at least admitting he has been and is a terrible parent. Fine. He has some self-knowledge. Then he calls his daughter Tatum a "bitch" for writing her own life story.

Still, Tatum takes a more forgiving attitude. She shrugs it off now. She even seemed somewhat amused that Ryan didn’t recognize her at Farrah’s funeral, and tried to pick her up! (I’ll never forget the paparazzi pics of Ryan screaming at Tatum, on a beach somewhere – she was still a teenager – and Tatum’s stricken, sobbing retreat from her enraged parent.)

64 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Baby  Snooks
Some would say he commandeered a lot of that attention for himself as well and that of course is headed to court with regard to the documentary.
By Baby Snooks on 08/07/2009 1:54 pm
Eldebbo C
What kept Farrah loving Ryan all those years, we’ll never know for sure. I guess sometimes love does conquer all!!!!
By Eldebbo C on 08/07/2009 7:19 am
Andrea Brandon

Eldebbo wrote: "I guess sometimes love does conquer all!!!!"

We really don’t know what went on behind closed doors. One thing is for certain: No one stays with a man who abuses his kids. I’m pretty sure she had problems of her own.

By Andrea Brandon on 08/07/2009 9:58 pm
Laura Ward

Now that I think of it, I’ve loved a few guys that were obvious losers in my lifetime. Married some of them (been married three times). Sigh…So I really shouldn’t talk about Farrah loving Ryan despite Ryan being such a loser (good-looking one at that, and yes, mine were good-looking too). Sometimes the heart is stronger than the brain. Glad I’m not like that anymore. But it took years of mistakes first. The brain now leads, and then the heart.

By Laura Ward on 08/08/2009 3:02 pm
Ms. Dee
I’ve never liked that phrase.  "Love conquers all."  I can see how love supports and forgives and comforts and embraces and provides all sorts of other valuable accoutrements to our lives, and endures whatever life throws at it.  But conquer?  I think that idea may lie at the root of most dysfunctional and pathetic relationships.  Long-suffering isn’t love.  It’s just suffering for a very long time.
By Ms. Dee on 08/10/2009 2:48 pm
Eldebbo C
I agree, that phrase doesn’t work for me either, but I’ve seen so many situations where wives, girlfriends (and sometimes husbands, boyfriends too) stay in bad relationships. When they are ask the rhetorical question "Why?" so many times we hear "because I love him(her) go figure.
By Eldebbo C on 08/10/2009 3:01 pm
Ms. Dee
Oh, I know.  I’ve been there myself.  But I’m pretty sure at this point, I was confused about just what love was.
By Ms. Dee on 08/10/2009 3:32 pm
Carole Del Monte
I never liked Ryan O’Neal.  He always seemed to have some sort of a dark side.  I believe that he wasn’t always kind to Farrah & worse, he seems to be gaining some attention for himself with her tragic illness & death.  Phony is the word that comes to mind.
By Carole Del Monte on 08/07/2009 8:14 am
Deena B.
I had given Ryan O’Neal the benefit of the doubt in Farrah’s last days.  I knew he had a troubled past and I feared for his future once she was gone.  But he seemed so sincere at the time.  (Of course, he is an actor).  I felt for him and I believed him.  Now? I just don’t know. I can’t imagine hitting on anyone at the funeral.  It is certainly not an amusing story.  I wonder if Griffin might have hit the nail on the head? 
By Deena B. on 08/07/2009 8:28 am
DeBúrca obj
I’ve never heard anything bad about Lee Major, too bad she didn’t stick with him.
By DeBúrca obj on 08/07/2009 8:50 am
Deena B.

I was thinking the same thing.

By Deena B. on 08/07/2009 9:40 am
Grande Camper
It like the good guy doesn’t win?!  or maybe he didn’t provide enough drama in her life.
By Grande Camper on 08/07/2009 12:15 pm
Andrea Brandon

That’s the problem with nice guys - not enough drama. Boring.

Hey, I’ll take boring over being married to a drunk any day of the week.

By Andrea Brandon on 08/07/2009 10:00 pm
Grande Camper
Me too!
By Grande Camper on 08/08/2009 12:19 am
MK P
Actually, there’s a better option — STAY SINGLE.  
By MK P on 08/08/2009 8:29 am