The Liz Smith Column | 08/06/2009 11:00 pm

Liz Smith: Farrah and Ryan – The Dark Side

Also from Our Gossip Girl, a famous ‘séance’ becomes an opera.

"She was the most beautiful woman in a room full of beautiful women," says the great mentor Sue Mengers of Hollywood’s Farrah Fawcett. This was back in the days when Sue was running the careers of both Farrah and Ryan O’Neal.

So, while we’re thinking of this, let’s give a "brava" to writer Leslie Bennetts, one of the best when it comes to examining pop culture hero and heroines. We’re talking now about Leslie’s new Vanity Fair piece on Farrah.

***

Farrah was, as Ms. Bennetts indicates, a much more complicated woman than her one-dimensional big-mane-of-hair image suggested. There was steel beneath the velvet sweetness, and something a bit darker under that oft-giddy façade.

I always felt Farrah expressed a great deal of herself through her later dramatic work. ("Murder In Texas," "The Burning Bed," "Extremities," "Small Sacrifices," "The Apostle.") I never wrote this while Farrah was alive, because I thought it might hurt her and she and I were Texas friends. But I sensed a certain masochism in how she totally submerged herself in the intense, usually suffering women she portrayed; she was relaying messages about her own life, her experiences as a woman and as a world-famous figure. (There is a telling moment in the TV miniseries "Poor Little Rich Girl," based on the life of heiress Barbara Hutton. Toward the end, one of the characters turns on Farrah-as-Hutton: "Nobody could put up with you. You are impossible!" And Fawcett replies with a raw croak, "Don’t you think I know it?" I had a feeling Farrah had played that scene already.)

And for sure, there was masochism in her long, tumultuous relationship with Ryan O’Neal, who was (and is) both a charmer and a brute.

Here is a story I was told years ago, by a source I trusted. In the early days of their romance, Farrah and Ryan were on a plane, heading to or returning from Europe. They were alone in a section of the first-class cabin. Suddenly a big ruckus was overheard – it sounded like somebody was being roughed up. It went on for so long and so ferociously that the singer Ella Fitzgerald, also aboard, rose from her seat and was about to storm in and put an end to it. But a member of Farrah and Ryan’s entourage stopped Ella, "No, don’t. Don’t interfere. This is their ‘thing.’" Of course, Farrah had quite a temper – maybe it was Ryan who was being roughed up. And more power to Farrah if it was! (The tougher side of Farrah was revealed when her face was in repose. She wasn’t really that beautiful unless she had the smile going. Without it, she could look almost plain, and very determined, nobody’s brainless pinup.)

As to Bennetts’ anecdotes in the VF piece, they are astonishing. Almost everything Ryan says is shocking or unpleasant – even when he’s "just joking." The quotes from Ryan about his own children, well … I didn’t think I could be more sympathetic toward Tatum O’ Neal than I already am, but Ryan’s words were the limit! I’m surprised Tatum and the rest of his kids can function at all. In some quarters Ryan is being praised for at least admitting he has been and is a terrible parent. Fine. He has some self-knowledge. Then he calls his daughter Tatum a "bitch" for writing her own life story.

Still, Tatum takes a more forgiving attitude. She shrugs it off now. She even seemed somewhat amused that Ryan didn’t recognize her at Farrah’s funeral, and tried to pick her up! (I’ll never forget the paparazzi pics of Ryan screaming at Tatum, on a beach somewhere – she was still a teenager – and Tatum’s stricken, sobbing retreat from her enraged parent.)

64 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

I read Tatum O’Neal’s book. She’s my age and all the girls my age wanted to be her of course. I took into account while reading it that she’s a damaged woman and an addict. So the chances that it was entirely true are slim. But I’ve worked with damaged kids and adults all of my adult life. Was one and grew up with them all my childhood. So I have a great spidey sense for bullshit. especially from addicts. And on the whole I thought her account was very believable. I wound up having a huge amount of empathy for her. But more than that I was angry at all the people around her and her brother that let Ryan O’Neal and her mother get away with child abuse. It was shocking. horrible. And some really big names were right up there allowing it to happen. Like Cher. What the hell woman? Really? She saw what was going on and this kid was reaching out to her and she just sailed on by. Letting it happen. NOt that she was the only one. But for cryin out loud. Really really crummy of those people.

By Chrome Toe on 08/07/2009 8:55 am

e-mail alert

"A Paper Life" by Tatum O’Neal was truly explosive. I also read John McEnroe’s book at the same time. Although I realize Tatum has a drug problem, I truly admire that she has survived a horrible childhood (her mother was more abusive than Ryan…Angelica Huston, Cher, Bianca Jagger, Ursula Andress and others helped a little) and Tatum survived another mini Ryan, John McEnroe. I sometimes wonder if they’d written their books while still married, they might have stayed married given their admissions about the failures in their marriage. But Patty Smyth is more suited to John since they were raised the same. No one should be raised the way Tatum was. Most people would have a tragic end. I hope Tatum’s doing well today. She knew both Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett.

By Laura Ward on 08/07/2009 12:26 pm

e-mail alert

A film that I am most fond of is "Paper Moon" starring Ryan and daughter Tatum when she was still a young girl. It is a tale of a woebegone, slippery eel of a father––he sells bibles––and his daughter who is dumped on him after the mother dies. Their relationship is one of contentious love–-Tatum is brilliant in her role––interesting to see it now as a harbinger of things to come.

If Farrah had that masochistic streak, and in all those films mentioned featured women who were under the knife, so to speak, her relationship with Ryan served her well. Yet, she displayed an inordinate amount of courage and determination throughout her life. Complicated people––not your usual Darby and Joan.

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 08/07/2009 9:00 am

e-mail alert

"She wasn’t really that beautiful unless she had the smile going. Without it, she could look almost plain,……."

I disagree. I saw her at the Houston airport in the late 80’s. She wore jeans, a T shirt, little makeup, and hair in a pony tail. She was gorgeous.

By Maggie W on 08/07/2009 9:14 am

e-mail alert

You may have seen her in an "up" moment. Others saw her in a "down" moment. Either way, when she shut off the smile there was something almost harsh about her particularly as she got older.

You can’t have it all. Farrah Fawcett in many ways proved how true that is. Perhaps the harshness was the result of, to quote Big Mama in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, life not turning out the way she had planned.

By Baby Snooks on 08/07/2009 10:07 am

e-mail alert

I think you’re right. My boyfriend saw Farrah working out in a gym here in Houston in the Woodlands and was surprised she didn’t look that beautiful. Of course, who looks beautiful when working out?

By Laura Ward on 08/07/2009 10:36 am

e-mail alert

Isn’t that true about most people. Especially celebrities. Some of them have their hair going for them and when you see it pulled back, you almost don’t recognise them. And the endless make-up that a lot of them wear, take it all off, and they look like the rest of us.

You all seem to be forgetting that beauty also comes from the inside. Farrah was a very soft spoken person, and I think that her personality had a lot of beauty and poise.

By Eldebbo C on 08/08/2009 2:47 pm

e-mail alert

I’m curious, when was the last time Ryan O’Neal worked? Does he have a job?

By Denise Wexler on 08/07/2009 10:20 am

e-mail alert

Ryan makes occasional appearances as the father of the lead female character on Bones.

By Lauri Anderson on 08/10/2009 2:37 pm

e-mail alert

I was just wondering that myself - he made the picture wherein he was married and in college and she died of cancer - I frankly don’t remember many more movies he was in. He also had a drug problem and looks pretty dissipated - wonder if he was living off Farrah - very surprised she didn’t leave him a cent in her will. Perhaps she wasn’t so gullible after all.

By Pdr de on 08/13/2009 10:33 pm

e-mail alert

Nora Ephron

Author; Editor At Large, Huffington Post

Posted: August 6, 2009 06:56 PMBIO Become a Fan Get Email Alerts Bloggers’ Index In Defense of Ryan O’Neal digg & Track" class="b_pixie">stumble reddit del.ico.us Read More: Ryan O’Neal, Ryan o’Neal Hits On Daughter,Ryan Oneal, Tatum O’Neal, Entertainment News
Be the First to Submit
This Story to Digg Buzz up!Get Breaking News Alerts never spam

I understand that Ryan O’Neal has confessed, in the current edition of Vanity Fair, that he recently failed to recognize his own daughter Tatum at a funeral and accidentally made a pass at her.

Everyone is very judgmental about this, but I just want to say that I sympathize.

A couple of years ago, I was standing in a mall in Las Vegas when I saw a very pleasant-looking woman coming towards me, smiling, her arms outstretched, and I thought, who is this woman? Where do I know her from? Then she spoke and I realized it was my sister Amy.

You might think, well how was she to know her sister would be in Las Vegas, but I’m sorry to report that not only did I know, but she was the person I was meeting in the mall.

It was not entirely my fault that I didn’t know my own sister. Amy has a variety of hairstyles and you never know which one of them she will show up in. Also, she was wearing a new pair of glasses. But for the most part, I was to blame: I’m getting worse at recognizing people. My hard drive is full. And it’s more and more difficult to keep track. People you haven’t seen in years go gray, or gain weight, or have facelifts, or take up hats to cover their bald spots, or put an excessive number of highlights into their hair, and then they expect you to recognize them.

As it happens, Ryan O’Neal had not seen his daughter Tatum in years. He thought she was a Swedish person. I completely understand. The truth is that had I been gay, I might have accidentally made a pass at my own sister in a mall in Las Vegas. So who’s to judge? Not me

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 08/07/2009 10:22 am

e-mail alert

What Nora Ephron overlooks is that Ryan O’Neal made a pass at "a woman" at the funeral of the woman he claimed he loved.

I would hope she is being "tongue-in-cheek" but something tells me she’s not. I don’t think it’s a matter of her hard drive being full. I think it’s a matter of her computer having crashed.

By Baby Snooks on 08/07/2009 10:51 am

e-mail alert

I agree, but I always enjoy Nora’s take on things.

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 08/07/2009 10:56 am

e-mail alert

I can understand that he did not recognise her. I’ve done that, too, though not with immediate family. The creepy part is that he was making a pass at anybody at that particular time.

By Deena B. on 08/07/2009 11:44 am

e-mail alert

If it was Farrah and Ryan’s "thing" to "rough it up," wonder what the real story between Farrah and James Orr was about? I assume Ryan never went this far. I guess some people just like "rough" relationships?

James Orr got charged with battering Farrah during the time she had broken up with Ryan. Farrah had gone after James’ car with a baseball bat. She’s lucky James didn’t kill her. This almost sounds how Dominique Dunne died.

———————————————————————

In 1998 she was beaten by her then-boyfriend, moviemaker James Orr, after she took several swings at his car with a baseball bat. Fawcett reportedly asked police to drop charges against him, but Orr was prosecuted and convicted anyway. According to the police report, he had grabbed Fawcett by the throat, slammed her head into the pavement, and kicked her "several times to her upper body as she laid on the ground."

By Laura Ward on 08/07/2009 10:55 am