I find that back story to be interesting, especially the fact that men between 75 - 79 are nine times more likely to commit suicide.  Whew ! That is an incredibly high number.  I believe no one likes to live alone, but women seem to adapt better than men.  When my sister in law is out of town for just a weekend, my brother is lonely and usually comes over or calls.  While many women crave occasional " alone time", men don’t usually have that wish.  Also, when my friends divorced after a long marriage, it was the man who was adrift in loneliness longer than his wife.

As for the other stats, while women tend to be, over all, more proactive… men are more reactive, especially when young.   How many times has a mother or wife asked her husband or son, " What in the world were you thinking?"  No answer because he was not.

I have looked at the picture on that page but only see the young woman.  Anyone see an old woman? 

My 93 year old grandmother (still very frisky) had surgery this past winter and needed to go to a rehab center / assisted living facility for a month.  Out of the 100 or so residents of the center, maybe 5 or 6 were men. It was amazing to see so many spunky old ladies in one place!

Also, my grandmother is one of 5 sisters. Although my grandmother is the longest living, all of her sisters lived until their late 80’s.  She also has two first cousins that are both in their 90’s.  It must be a combination of hard work, clean living and good genes! 

My own thoughts:  I have to disagree with Newsweek on this one.  .  . and I wish the author of the article would interview my men friends of a certain age - edging on 100 or more - and NOT men I would consider "elderly" or "aging" either.  What they are are "brilliant" - shimmering, shining lights who have phenonemal memories (that are beginning to put mine to shame.)  They e-mail me, challenging me to respond to their thinking on political issues, social issues, more.  The Bostonian - who is 100 - has a book that has been taken for publication on the issue of age.  Another, 94, does not miss a cultural activity in Tucson, doesn’t need to be manhandled to the symphony, and can blow me away with his discussions on his return.  Not enough?  I have more.  Another has a major book/ encyclopedia that will hit the stores in December.  Again, his e-mails out-do those of most of my women friends.  In each case, in looking back, I found them intellectually stimulating and desirably "older" when I was young.  Liz has made me think about this subject.  I think my response is that their own "love of life" and continual quest for knowledge has kept them active as one could be - and interesting to be with - as who doesn’t want to be with someone whose conversation is mesmerizing? — as it always was.  They are wonderful companions and "age" is forgotten - well, except to say "how do they do this?" 

How do I feel about "older men" now?  These men - throughout my life - have been a  precious gift to me.  They tell me that life isn’t over until it is over — not with a "thunk" at a certain age.  They know they are loved - not just by me - but all who know them.  The added factor they may have is having people around them who love them, who want to be with them, are excited to hear what they have to say, and to find them never stopping squeezing out all the areas of our world for all they are worth. 

My thoughts about women — well, that is another story for another time.  Liz, an interesting subject … and I think you probably could match me and more with the "older men friends" you know.  I think I am right - as I know Liz!!!  

Just a thought……

If we as mothers would raise our little boys to express their feelings more, they might stay healthier.

I really get irritated when I hear a young mother tell her young son to stop crying……guit acting like a baby. Making them feel ashamed to act like a feeling human being. Men hold in too much stress………

I have to say that there were a LOT of good points made in the responses to Liz Smith’s summation of the Newsweek article. I think that very often, women outlast men in the longevity stakes because they are more apt to admit that they have some issues that need fixing, and for which they need expert help. From admitting that we just don’t feel "right", and decide to take ourselves off to see our health care provider to deciding it’s time for some counseling to deal with an emotional or family issue - we get out there very often and ask for help and seek out those with the goods to provide it.

And I think, as others do, that women are more apt to express emotions like sorrow, or depression, or frustration. I know lots of elderly women who swear by the healing power of a "good cry" as my mother used to call it. Shed some tears, then take a deep breath and gosh all get out, a whole lot of the time you really DO feel better! But men are not as free, either culturally or in their own minds, to indulge in the luxury of emotions. And so often men seem unwilling or unable to even verbalize a problem, let alone seek help.

Now, of course, this is a huge, broad generalization - there are thousands of exceptions, and I’m pleased to know and love quite a few of the long-lived men out there who enrich my life and the lives of so many others. But those cultural stereotypes cling on: the "strong, silent type"? The "loner"? The "tough guy"? Maybe these stereotypes play well on film (viz Gary Cooper, Bogie, Robert Mitchum, et al), but in real life, I think adherence to those so-called norms probably does have a ripple effect that may contribute to a shorter life span.

I think that in the realm of friendship, women may also have a bit of an advantage. We TELL one another stuff! We share all sorts of confidences, we consult our friends about our problems, our hopes, our fears, and we probably are acculturated to do this with MUCH greater ease and comfort than men, sad to say. Dona Howlett hit it right on the head: when little boys are told over and over that "big boys don’t cry", or "act like a man" and cover up your feelings - harm is being done. There’s just so much a person can "suck up" before it has to come bursting out somewhere. Sadly, it often bursts out in men in ways that are unhealthy: higher cholesterol; more stress; ulcers …

But I have to say that I treasure each and every older man in my life - the wise shamans; the old codgers; the silver foxes - what would we do without them? Life would be narrower and shallower. So men, here’s my advice: take care of yourselves physically and emotionally; eat right and get your rest; enjoy a good cry now and then; and most of all - stick around so we can enjoy the WHOLE ride together. The rollercoaster is WAY more fun with a seatmate to cling to!