The Liz Smith Column | 10/15/2009 4:00 am
Liz Smith: Jon and Kate Plus the Lohans – Mommies and Daddies Dearest?
Our Gossip Girl also asks: Was Lindsay’s fashion collection really that bad?
Lindsay Lohan © AP
"There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst," said George Bernard Shaw.
***
Even a confirmed cynic like Mr. Shaw must be spinning at the antics of "celebrity parents," such as the soon-to-be-divorced Jon and Kate Gosselin, and the long-divorced Michael and Dina Lohan (parents of the tabloid-magnet Lindsay).
The Gosselins are a template for the late 20th- and early 21st-century obsession to become famous by any means. In Kate Gosselin’s case, she got herself a passel of invitro-ed sextuplets (she already had twins) and then decided to push them all on TV, because, guess what, these parents had no money to support their brood. The once-respectable Learning Channel put these deadbeats on the air.
In the years that the show "Jon & Kate Plus 8" has been inflicted on America, Kate has revealed herself as a steely-eyed control freak with high ambitions for a life outside of her home – she wants to be a star, a talk-show hostess.
Jon, her hubby, is an overweight, dim, resentful sad sack with a spine of jelly. He’s the type who could turn any woman into a shrew. He has ambitions too. He wants to party with ladies who haven’t given birth to eight children and who don’t correct him every five minutes.
The J&K saga has devolved into charges of looted bank accounts, judicial arbitrations and sudden, passionate "epiphanies" – the latter courtesy of Jon, who has shut the show down "for the sake of his exploited children." He did this the day after he was essentially fired from the series.
General ugliness and unconvincing weeping from both parties is an almost daily occurrence. The no-nonsense Kate has had no epiphanies. She says she must continue to use her kids, because how else is she going to support them? And anyway, there’s that career as the new Kelly Ripa to ponder. This unattractive, emotionally stunted, intellectually barren couple now dominates the glossy magazine covers, often acing out Brad and Angie, who are at least great looking and work for a living.
There is no escape from the Gosselins. Trust me.
Some people say the Gosselins’ kids should be taken away from their camera-ready parents, that they have been abused and harmed in the process of being moneymaking props on a TV show. Well, the same could be said about any child actor on a normal sitcom or series. Or any child actor, period. (There are occasional exceptions such as Jodie Foster, who appears to have been born with wisdom, as well as talent.)
The Jon and Kate children will most likely be harmed by the antics and instability of their parents. But that’s not real abuse; it’s just a lousy childhood. I see therapy couches.
***
As for the Lohans – what a pair! Daddy Michael was in trouble with the law for a long time – stock fraud, for which he was jailed four years, probation violation (more jail), violating a court order to stay away from his children (and still more jail time!). He is afflicted with terminal verbal diarrhea, and can’t-stay-away-from-the-camera-itis. Almost always he is talking about his famous daughter.
The mother, Dina, is a ferociously taut, blonde Mama Rose, who saw a moneymaking "Gypsy" in the talented Lindsay. She has lived and partied vicariously through – and sometimes with – her daughter, existing in a heightened state of denial. "There’s nothing wrong with Lindsay, blame it on her youth." That was a passable excuse when Lohan was 16, 17, 18, 19. Now she is 23, a woman. And while Lindsay may not be the melting mess that websites such as TMZ and Perez insist she is, there is some reason to believe she still has "issues."
***
Even a confirmed cynic like Mr. Shaw must be spinning at the antics of "celebrity parents," such as the soon-to-be-divorced Jon and Kate Gosselin, and the long-divorced Michael and Dina Lohan (parents of the tabloid-magnet Lindsay).
The Gosselins are a template for the late 20th- and early 21st-century obsession to become famous by any means. In Kate Gosselin’s case, she got herself a passel of invitro-ed sextuplets (she already had twins) and then decided to push them all on TV, because, guess what, these parents had no money to support their brood. The once-respectable Learning Channel put these deadbeats on the air.
In the years that the show "Jon & Kate Plus 8" has been inflicted on America, Kate has revealed herself as a steely-eyed control freak with high ambitions for a life outside of her home – she wants to be a star, a talk-show hostess.
Jon, her hubby, is an overweight, dim, resentful sad sack with a spine of jelly. He’s the type who could turn any woman into a shrew. He has ambitions too. He wants to party with ladies who haven’t given birth to eight children and who don’t correct him every five minutes.
The J&K saga has devolved into charges of looted bank accounts, judicial arbitrations and sudden, passionate "epiphanies" – the latter courtesy of Jon, who has shut the show down "for the sake of his exploited children." He did this the day after he was essentially fired from the series.
General ugliness and unconvincing weeping from both parties is an almost daily occurrence. The no-nonsense Kate has had no epiphanies. She says she must continue to use her kids, because how else is she going to support them? And anyway, there’s that career as the new Kelly Ripa to ponder. This unattractive, emotionally stunted, intellectually barren couple now dominates the glossy magazine covers, often acing out Brad and Angie, who are at least great looking and work for a living.
There is no escape from the Gosselins. Trust me.
Some people say the Gosselins’ kids should be taken away from their camera-ready parents, that they have been abused and harmed in the process of being moneymaking props on a TV show. Well, the same could be said about any child actor on a normal sitcom or series. Or any child actor, period. (There are occasional exceptions such as Jodie Foster, who appears to have been born with wisdom, as well as talent.)
The Jon and Kate children will most likely be harmed by the antics and instability of their parents. But that’s not real abuse; it’s just a lousy childhood. I see therapy couches.
***
As for the Lohans – what a pair! Daddy Michael was in trouble with the law for a long time – stock fraud, for which he was jailed four years, probation violation (more jail), violating a court order to stay away from his children (and still more jail time!). He is afflicted with terminal verbal diarrhea, and can’t-stay-away-from-the-camera-itis. Almost always he is talking about his famous daughter.
The mother, Dina, is a ferociously taut, blonde Mama Rose, who saw a moneymaking "Gypsy" in the talented Lindsay. She has lived and partied vicariously through – and sometimes with – her daughter, existing in a heightened state of denial. "There’s nothing wrong with Lindsay, blame it on her youth." That was a passable excuse when Lohan was 16, 17, 18, 19. Now she is 23, a woman. And while Lindsay may not be the melting mess that websites such as TMZ and Perez insist she is, there is some reason to believe she still has "issues."
Read more about: Angelina Jolie, Celebrities, Dina Lohan, Entertainment, Estrella Archs, Fashion, George Bernard Shaw, Gossip, Jodie Foster, Jon Gosselin, Jon Voight, Kate Gosselin, Kelly Ripa, Lindsay Lohan, Liz Smith, Michael Lohan, News
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58 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment
Neither Jon or Kate are willing to do what’s best for the children. They both need to grow up. I was hoping that someone would want to be the "bigger" person, but I guess not.
On the bright side, I hear that the show will no longer be taping episodes as of November.
In my opinion, Kate contributed to Jon’s low self esteem. She is a so over the top shrew, he caved and didn’t know how to redeem himself. He has no guidence except his snarky lawyer and his son who is Jon’s manager and Michael Lohan????. Maybe the court should order therapy for them both of them with a well regarded psychologist or psychiatrist. The marriage is over but their lives and the children’s still have to go on in a less hostal manner. Jon and Kate are the most mixed up head jobs on TV, including the cartoons and sitcoms. They need to look at themselves the way we see them.
GigiC
"There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst,"
I love that quote! in my latest incarnation of my work self… I’ve taken my psych degree and 20 years of working with kids and families to work for myself as a court appointed Guardian Ad Litem in family court. The judge will appoint a GAL in cases where the parents can’t agree on residential schedules or things like "should we have our children in front of a camera 24/7". The GAL’s role is to investigate and report back to the court what is in the "best interest" of the children ONLY. The thought is that each parent has an attorney to advocate for them and children have no one but their parents! who often have their own agendas that they couch in terms of what’s best for their kids. I hope to hell California (if that’s where they are?) has GAL’s and that someone appoints one for these children.
oh yes… and i wanted to say that what i see parents fighting about in court and putting their children in the middle of every day… parents who otherwise look healthy and "normal" is just incredible. It makes my days carrying a case load of level 2 and 3 sex offenders look to be the less depressing part of my career lol! slight exaggeration but you get the point…
Jon & Kate:
Instead of whining about being an abused husband, Jon needs to get a job and support those 8 children. Instead of going out partying and sleeping with women, his kids should come first, not his "lost twenties". I agree with Kate in that the show has provided incredible opportunities for the children that would have been otherwise impossible. I still enjoy the show, more so now without Jon’s negative comments about Kate that he says with a smile - I was married to a man like that and he claimed he was only "joking"…well after 30+ years of marriage I decided it wasn’t worth it being married to a comedian. Bottom line the kids seem pretty normal and well rounded to be called "used by the parents and media". Since they are so normal and well rounded, how are they any different than Jodie Foster was as a child???
Re: Lindsay
I can see mainstream women, especially the 20 somethings buying and wearing Lindsay’s collection of clothes. I think it was a great first venture into the fashion business. There were a few jackets I would even wear and I’m 60. I agree that there was a preconceived undercurrent to trash her collection no matter how brilliant it was. I bet most of the reviews were even pre-written. The fashion writers should be ashamed of themselves. Now that Lindsay is behaving like an adult she is still being used by the media as their "token whipping post".
I may be the only person in the US who gave their television away out of boredom, (1997). Yet I still can’t get away from these people because even the online so called regular news is tainted. We get this stuff because we buy into this stuff. We are greedy folks who keep the pot boiling and if they take advantage, who wouldn’t if it was really truly offered?
Its the same with the dirty politics and vicious hatred shown by pundits and email posters alike. It makes for ratings, news and keeps the pot stirred with little regard for truth or actual reality. Again, money and an off button is key. Unless we want to admit we enjoy these dirty little pleasures…
Unless we want to admit we enjoy these dirty little pleasures…
______________________
For the most part, we do. It’s called schadenfreude. In its innocent manifestation, it’s just a little gossip. In its not-so-innocent manifestation, it’s enjoying watching witches being burned at the stake.
For the absolute life of me I can not understand the lure of a couple and a woman who opted to have children by the litter with no idea of how to support them. Oh right they pimped them out to "reality" TV and imagine themselves as famous. What a tradgedy for the poor little kids involved who are nothing but props in the lives of their vacuous parents.
Stage parents have been with us forever with frustrated parents seeking fame and of course fortune through the talents of their offspring. It is no wonder that so many of the children, cast as breadwinners before they know the meaning of the word turn out to be screwed up messes. Sure there are exceptions, children who were allowed to express themselves creatively while still being raised by ground adults who turned out sane and normal. Do the names, Shirley Temple, Ron Howard, Jodie Foster, Dakota Fanning and that adorable Breslin girl ring any bells. Unfortunately there are far too many Lohans and Spears kids around who never had a chance thanks to the so called adults who never bothered to raise them with any values at all.
Oh Liz, you not only speak your mind, but you do it well - your columns are a joy to read and you’re an inspiration to me everytime I start to bite my tongue. You may just get me into trouble someday! Oh, I do hope so!
"There is no escape from the Gosselins. Trust me." This statement is so true. I have no TV in my house and I haven’t watched a single TV program in over five years so you’d think I’d have no clue about Jon and Kate and their children… How could I not? These people are everywhere. When I boot up my computer - they are there, when I check out my groceries - they are there, when I listen to CNN on the radio… yep, there! I can’t imagine what it would be like for those turning on a TV set!
As mentioned, these people went out of their way to bring eight children into this world, and we now know that not only did they not have the means to care for them, neither of them have the emotional maturity to care for them, and now their selfishness is jeopardizing their children’s future stability and emotional well-being as well. THIS is worth watching on TV? My vote? (Not that it matters.) Turn it off people and leave these children alone…
As for Lindsay Lohan, it seems people either love her or hate her. I can’t say that I’m in either category though I can’t say that I agree with her mother’s statement that the "cards were stacked against Lindsay from the start". Perhaps she meant in this context only, but I will say that Lindsay Lohan has been given more opportunity on a silver platter than 99% of most young ladies in America ever get. She has beauty, money, talent, contacts… I could go on. If she has cards stacked against her, she’s piled them up around herself and it’s up to her to knock them down and sort them out. Her parents are enablers and they’re also part of that wall of cards - someday, she’ll get past them as well, but to say that the deck is stacked is a bit much. Lindsay just needs to look around the rest of the country (or the rest of the world for that matter) to see just how good she has it and then she needs to make the best of it - before she loses it all.
By the way, Liz mentioned Lindsay Lohan’s age in this article - 23 years old. So young but I’ve run across articles on the web over the last several weeks that have included pictures of Ms. Lohan and maybe it’s just me, but her face is aging much too quickly. I don’t mean to imply that she looks bad, but her face almost always seems to have a pall over it - her skin seeming a bit sallow and haggard - she is looking older than her years. Sad.