“I love children, especially when they cry, for then somebody takes them away,” said Nancy Mitford, the famous British writer.

I was agog reading that Madonna’s divorce from Guy Ritchie and her subsequent “flings” with Alex Rodriguez and Jesus Luz have become impediments to her adopting a second impoverished child in Malawi.

The government there seems to frown on Madonna’s change of status and her “lifestyle.” She was wed to director Ritchie when her adoption of little David Banda happened.

Maybe Malawi should get over itself! Africa — rife with civil unrest, corruption, genocide, disease and the rape and mutilation of children — is having a problem with Madonna’s morals!?

From the outside looking in, I suppose Madonna’s recent love conquests seem a bit – lurid. That said, I have yet to see one paparazzi picture of Madonna in disarray, out of control or engaging in a “public display of affection” with her assumed lovers. What I’ve seen is Madonna bringing little David out of a kabbala service. Wicked woman! Burn her at the stake!

I say – let Madonna and other rich celebrities adopt as many poor children as they want. She is, for instance, pouring millions into Malawi. And if you’ve seen her documentary on that blighted spot, you know they need all the help they can get. Her motives? Madonna’s motives? I don’t really care if she — or anybody else who is doing “a good deed in a naughty world” — is sincere or not. Sincerity won’t buy food or medicine. So, in that spirit of healthy cynicism, let’s have even more phonies who are intent on helping the world! The rest of us can sit around, cluck, tsk, point and complain.

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Saturday at the legendary Viper Room on Sunset Boulevard, my pal Perez Hilton will celebrate getting a bit older. He calls himself “The Original Gossip Girl” but I notice in his birthday invite his beard is showing. Happy Birthday, Gossip Girl! … Saturday in NYC at the Marriott Marquis, GLAAD will be saluting Tyra Banks, Suze Orman and Phil Donahue, and boy, oh boy, the celebs turn out for this 25th anniversary event. To name a few who say they’ll be there — Judith Light, Clay Aiken, Stockard Channing, Cherry Jones, Vanessa Williams, Chris Noth, Keith Olbermann and liberal freethinkers like that! 


Perez Hilton © AP

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Mary Tyler Moore! She has won Emmys, she has been Oscar-nominated (for “Ordinary People”). She has, without fail, turned the world on with her smile ever since her days as TV’s sexiest, Capri-clad, suburban wife and mom on “The Dick Van Dyke Show.”

So, if you love MTM, grab tickets now for her 92nd St. Y appearance April 2. Mary will talk about her long career and her new memoir, Growing Up Again: Life, Loves, and Oh Yeah, Diabetes. Call 212-415-5500 or log on to 92Y.org.


Amazon

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Can we remark on something unusual in the matter of the death of Natasha Richardson? It is the incredible graciousness, patience and understanding of her famous family. Not once have we seen these people fleeing from, haranguing or outwardly despising the media while their private misery was invaded. They’ve waved sadly at the intrusive cameras; they’ve said nothing when words failed them.

Maybe it’s a British thing. Maybe it harks back to the theatrical history of this family. The Redgrave/Richardson/Neeson brood seems to realize that, like it or not, they are public property. Somehow, in this ordeal, they drew the curtain on their grief while still leaving it open for those who wanted to look in. 


Actress Vanessa Redgrave, Micheal Neeson (3rd L), Joely Richardson (6th L), Daisy Bevan (7th L), Daniel Neeson (2nd L) and actor Liam Neeson (R) © Film Magic/Getty