The Liz Smith Column | 03/17/2009 12:00 am

Liz Smith: Hot, Younger Sex Partners and the Eternal Double Standard

Also from Our Gossip Girl: Mickey Rourke’s comeback continues; farewell to Ron Silver; what’s in the stars for the Madoff Family?

By Liz Smith

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Madonna and Child ... and Jesus?

“You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot,” says comic Elayne Boosler.

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Now look, when you are 50 years old and still toned and firm – and when you are rich and also one of the most powerful and successful stories in worldwide show business – is it any wonder you can pick up a handsome 22-year-old for fun and games?

Yes, yes – I’m talking again about Madonna and Jesus Luz and their still-sizzling romance.

But first, why shouldn’t Madonna do what men have been doing for years – centuries, in fact? (That is, get successful and rich and start dating younger and younger and sexier and prettier – or handsomer – partners?)

What I really want to ask you about is a recent "gotcha" photo which shows Madonna holding her adopted son, David Banda, by the hand, with Jesus Luz right behind her, and they are actually leaving kabbalah services in New York on a Sunday.

I want to ask: When was the last time you saw a paparazzi photo of a big star emerging from church, synagogue or mosque? They come twirling out of chauffeured cars, out of Starbucks, out of movie premieres on the red carpet. They trip out of discos, bars, saloons and night clubs. But very few have I ever seen emerging from anywhere in a full blast of spirituality.

Now, yes – Jesus Luz did leave his girlfriend, Krishna Siqueira, for Madonna. But he still talks to Krishna and recently told her that he is in a great phase of his life right now. So, OK – Jesus got Madonna and he got a ready-made family and he also got religion. I love it!

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The flip-side P.S. to the above is that nobody believes M and Jesus are in any way serious. This and her alleged “romance” with 33-year-old baseball star Alex Rodriguez seem to be classic rebounds from a nine-year marriage with director Guy Ritchie. Madonna wasn’t feeling the love, to say the least! (She has been startlingly candid to friends as to just how underappreciated she felt throughout that wedlock.)

Unfortunately, aside from the eternal double standard, there is the fact that Madonna has worked so relentlessly at being “strong” that she does not generate much sympathy or empathy. She behaves as if she doesn’t care. Or maybe she just doesn’t know.

Because nobody’s saying, “You go, girl.” Or even placing her atop the current list of luscious “cougars.” No, the general reaction out there, even among devoted fans is … please stop. Cut your hair. Gain weight. Be the gorgeous and glamorous 50-year-old you can be, not some wiry ersatz version of yourself 25 years ago. Revamp your act, so it can go on for another … 50 years! (She is supreme among concert attractions, still.)

And there is the matter of her three children, specifically 12-year-old Lourdes, who is already a beauty. Perhaps Madonna has wise and reasonable kabbalah-tinged conversations with her daughter, and they are simpatico with the issue of Mama’s friends. But from the outside looking in, it’s … Lana Turner time.

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It maybe pays NOT to win the Oscar. Mickey Rourke didn’t grab the gold at this year’s Academy Awards, but he was surely the comeback kid, star of “The Wrestler,” and he generated enough clout to make a fuss over future salaries. And to win those fusses.

Mickey Rourke © Getty Images

Mickey initially rejected an offer to appear in the sequel to “Iron Man,” the movie that served as a comeback vehicle for Robert Downey Jr. Rourke turned up his often broken and surgically altered nose when they said they’d pay $250,000 for him to play a character named “Whiplash.”

34 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Cyndi - Me TOO! (A BTB that is) and I’m loved and appreciated for my wisdom, my lifelong sense of humor, my innate sense of fairplay (honed from those many years) and appreciation for all things spontaneous and fun! Age has NEVER come between us - and my criteria was that he knew who Nat King Cole was. (He sang Unforgettable to me during our first dance!) Long live the happy BTB’s!

By bmrgal on 03/17/2009 4:13 pm

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Sharon- Thanks so much for responding. I was afraid I pressed the "submit" button above too soon without explaining that Boy Toy Babe (BTB) is an empowering, confident, intelligent and playful term for women as opposed to those "predatory" labels out there. And yes it’s sexy too- What’s wrong with that? I coined the term Boy Toy Babe (BTB) in my newest book. I am thrilled that you really get it and understand the meaning of being ageless. I’m even more happy that that you are truly appreciated for being YOU! Yes - Long live BOY TOY BABEs (BTB’s) ! Help me spread the word! Cyndi Targosz www.starglow.com

By CyndiTargosz on 03/17/2009 4:44 pm

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Cyndi - I agree with you too! I am a Hot Boy Toy Babe (BTB)! My boyfriend chased me and we have a wonderful relationship. Get out there ladies and find love! Go BTB’s!

By RebeccaSweet on 03/18/2009 11:53 am

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Modonna has faced endless and ugly criticism ever since she became a part of popular culture. People seem to really hate her, but they also can’t wait to see what she’ll do next. She’s an artist. Every aspect of her life reflects that. Nobody would praise her for gaining weight. She’ll be criticized no matter what she does or looks like. She’s rich and powerful and vital and botox’d and out there. She isn’t alone in that. So what? I haven’t seen a single indication that it makes her a bad mother. I think she also has a private life that she has the sense and the clout to keep private. People think it isn’t there because they don’t get to see it. I may or may not like her if I knew her, but implying that she would subject herself or her children to a violent boy toy is harsh and needlessly, baselessly mean.

By LiviaJones on 03/17/2009 12:10 pm

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Ron Silver was among the best character actors of our time. He was a busy actor until he changed from liberal to arch-conservative. He has to be admired for his strong sense of character. He will be missed.

On the lighter side, if you live in New York or have ever been there you should rent the movie, "Garbo Talks". Ron Silver and the brilliant Anne Bancroft were so good in that movie. It was funny and touching and beautifully done. Even the drama of everyday life in New York was wonderful.

God Keep Ron Silver and Anne Bancroft.

By katywonLA on 03/17/2009 12:31 pm

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Dear Liz—First off, I have been a huge follower of you for years and so glad you are now here for us daily! As to the double standard issue. Yes, it indeed exists! I have noticed of late (everywhere it seems) how truly critical and mean women are to each other! Why is this? Envy? Jealousy? Their own self-esteem issues? At 50, Madonna perhaps looks better than many women half her age and better than ever! While she has had some "work" done, her fitness regime is beyond belief—she works very hard to maintain her body and it shows. Why shouldn’t she have some fun with a young man! Over the past few years a number of my women friends in their 40’s have been dumped by their husbands for younger models. These are amazingly accomplished and attractive women who have simply gotten older. It has been interesting to watch them post-divorce, especially the fact that they have been amazed that younger men find them very attractive. I love hearing them go on that he’s 10, 15 years younger. Several of them at first were quite unaccustomed to being "worshipped" by these younger men and are now in very healthy, happy relationships. And as it turns out, no one really cares about the difference in their ages. My partner and I are 20 years apart. Next month will be our 26th anniversary. We have lasted longer than almost all of our friends, straight or gay. I was 21 and he 41 when we met. They said it wouldn’t last—HA! As to setting a terrible example to her children, I imagine she is quite open and honest with her children. How "bad" is that?

By BillSzoka on 03/17/2009 12:34 pm

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I need to develop more sympathy for those who lost money with Madoff. However, when I read another article about "Madoff’s victims," I can’t help but think, he didn’t have "victims," he had "volunteers."

By HelenOReilly on 03/17/2009 12:42 pm

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Madonna doesn’t fool around when it comes to seeking redemption. She’s now dating Jesus Light (English translation for Jesus Luz). Sort of covering all her bases with Kabbalah and Christianity at the same time, in completely different venues.

By OE on 03/17/2009 1:00 pm

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I have always been mezerized by Mickey Rourke since 91/2 Weeks… couldn’t wait to see The Wrestler .. Great Great movie…I was very glad he won the Golden Globe for best actor.. I liked how he summed it up about winning or not winning the Oscar on his Barbara Walters interview..He said yes it would be a great honor if he did win.. but in the end: you can’t eat it… you can "screw" it and it won’t help him get into heaven.. also his love for his dogs.. I can really relate.. sometime in your life, it is just you and your dogs.. keep up the great work Mickey

By BonnieEdwards on 03/17/2009 1:07 pm

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Let me see…

"But first, why shouldn’t Madonna do what men have been doing for years – centuries, in fact?"

Let me start… There is no real reason, except you may have nothing to talk about, …

Women have been complaining about the "older man - younger woman" for years, and there is a reason for it. You state, " when you are 50 years old and still toned and firm – and when you are rich and also one of the most powerful and successful stories in worldwide show busines" you can have anyone you want.

The questions is not "why not," but "why?" If those who are 50+ are still toned and "hot," why is there a need for a 25-year old? Why not an educated 50-year old with whom you can reminisce?

The reason, of course, is that taking that younger person gives you the "attention" that you crave or "need’ to satisfy some feeling of "getting old" or, perhaps, to overcome a feeling of "failure" on your part.

"I’m a wo(man) because I can have a (wo)man half my age!" is the type of thinking I expect from someone in their 20’s. Perhaps it is that the new 50s simply haven’t grown out of the 20s…

By jamestaylor on 03/18/2009 10:49 am

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Twenty-two is 2-2-young!!!

By RaininMinneapolis on 03/18/2009 12:22 pm

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I’m 43 and recently spoke with a 21-year-old young man in a restaurant. Just "pass the time" chit-chat and I’m securely married. But if I weren’t? Date *him*?? He’s a KID. Mature for his age, but I’d feel like his mother.

Apparently this isn’t Madonna’s dilemma. Her choice of course.

However, I have to say I’m increasingly (negatively) curious about all the intense fascination/obsession of older folks with the much younger. Seems like the United States of Adolescents to me.

By CindyMarek on 03/19/2009 7:32 am

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Seriously age is an illusion. My first marriage he was 4 yrs older and immature. My husband now is 11 yrs younger and we dated for 2 yrs before marrying. We’ve now been married 14 yrs and together 16.

I wouldn’t want someone to ‘label’ me. My husband loves older women. I applaude anyone who finds love, no matter their age, etc.

My children from my previous marriage appreciate him, and our sons now turned out well.

It’s just that you hear more in the news about men and younger women, than women with younger men.

I told him to PROVE to me it would work out, my husband did. For that, I’m thankful and blessed.

Any labeling is wrong. What is in the heart is what counts.

Life is what you make it.

By JeanHow on 03/20/2009 10:36 am

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Madonna (& any celeb that has latched on to Kabbalah annoys the tar out of me.

Kabbalah is NOT a religion. It is an aspect of Jusaism, & it annoys me to no end to see what I consider a bastardisation of my faith. Yes, I know that a lot of my fellow Jews have latched on to the pot-of-gold that Kabbalah has become; they tick me off, too. IMHO, either convert to Judaism (as I did) & accept the whole package, or leave it alone. Don’t just pick up the trendy bits & jettison the rest as not glamorous enough.

My tirade is over; it’s safe to come out now.

So Madonna dates younger men. Good for her! Of the last four men I’ve dated, three have been younger ( six to ten years). One roped me in with his Southern charm & accent ( he could make me laugh just by saying "nekkid") & one astonished me with his intelligence, interest in politics, & willingness to discuss all manner of subjects.

If it’s okay for men to have a youger "trophy" companion, it should be equally okay for women.

By DonnaH on 03/20/2009 11:48 am

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Madonna has a beautiful daughter Lourdes. When she starts to date she can invite her dates homes by making lots of promises. Once they reach home Madonna can be waiting. Mother and daughter can then do the old "Bait and Switch."

By LC4 on 03/21/2009 12:20 pm