The Liz Smith Column | 08/11/2009 11:00 pm
Liz Smith: Marilyn and Tony Curtis: Fact or Fantasy?

"You heard that there was some actor who said kissing me was like kissing Hitler? Well, I think that’s his problem!" So said Marilyn Monroe, weeks before her death, to writer Richard Meryman, in what would be her last interview for Life magazine.
Monroe continued: "If I have to do intimate love scenes with a person who really has these kind of negative feelings about me, then my fantasy comes into play. It’s like, out with him, in with my fantasy. He was never there!"
The unnamed "actor" was, of course, Tony Curtis, the same Tony who now claims that not only did he have an affair with Monroe during the filming of "Some Like It Hot," but that she was pregnant with his child! (Monroe was married to Arthur Miller at the time, and her pregnancy was obvious in some scenes in the film. She later miscarried.)
All who could refute Tony are dead. But Miss Monroe’s words on the subject live on. And she wouldn’t even say his name.
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"The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion," said the one and only George Washington.
I guess our first president would be shocked to find USA Today with a headline reading "Why Obama’s Church Choice Matters: There are political and spiritual implications."
And then there is the governor of Texas who recently said, "The idea that laws shouldn’t be informed by religion is an extreme position. Freedom of religion is not to be confused with freedom from religion."
Of course, Gov. Rick Perry is the same dingdong who wants Texas to secede from the union, so where does he get off telling the rest of us anything.
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Who, among current celebrities, has the best upper arms? I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that the winners are Michelle Obama, Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez. Madonna seems not to qualify.

Aniston, Lopez, Obama © Getty Images
If you don’t come by excellent upper limbs and glutes, you can have excess skin and fat taken away in what is known as axilloplasty. (I suppose this means you can have your axillos plasticized.)
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Wandered into Orsos after theater and ran right into Ali MacGraw who is still beautiful and now lives quietly in Sante Fe, NM. The star of the classic movie "Love Story" doesn’t always get the credit she deserves. As a matter of fact, later in life she made one of my all-time favorite movies with, of all people, the comic Alan King. "Just Tell Me What You Want" is partly the story of a tempestuous couple who stage a fight in Bergdorf Goodman. It is simply terrific as directed by Sidney Lumet and you should look for it on DVD.
I told Ali I had just been thinking of her because I had read that very day the details of her late love Steve McQueen’s unhappy death from cancer. It’s all in the coming new book Morbid Curiosity: The Disturbing Demises of the Famous and Infamous.
Ali mused for a moment: "Yeah, yeah, you know Liz, all these rumors and feelers that they are looking to film the Steve McQueen story. Where in the world do you think they’ll ever come up with anyone who looks and acts like Steve!?"
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Let’s see now – the popular, young actor Jude Law has three children with his ex-wife Sadie Frost. And now he is expecting one more by somebody named Samantha Burke, who seemed to fall into the category of one-night-extended stands.
One has to admire Jude’s exemplary attitude after finding out Samantha was pregnant and settling things for the coming baby via lawyers. Jude seems like an intelligent and talented person.
But one has to wonder that so many young men have never heard of birth control.
























35 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment
You’re right, L.C., I took a course once in grad school on behaviorally disordered people, and while doing research for a paper, i stumbled onto a statistic that I never forgot: the vast majority of sexual crimes commited against children(both boys and girls) are committed by men who identify themselves as heterosexual. I don’t remember the exact statistic or the source(it was twenty years ago, after all). And yet, gay male tseachers still have to walk on eggs for fear that if they are outed, or if they come out voluntarily, they may, very well, lose their jobs.
As far as Tony Curtis, I only have one comment; Obviously, as a young man he was gorgeous, but as with quite a few gorgeous men, if you take them home and have your way with them, sooner or later, they’ll wake up and you’ll have to make conversation. And once they start talking, it’s absolutely all over.
STEVE C: I ABSOLUTELY AGREE, "tawdry" "sleaze". I also agree with Mr. WOW - poor, lovely Janet Leigh must be rolling over in her grave. Like most of us looking back at some of our romantic choices "What was I thinking" I have no doubt would be her sentiment.
Tony Curtis was on "The View" not too long ago and it was sad, pathetic and embarassing. The man is Huge!….Think of the "Pillsbury Dough Boy" triple in size only ugly!…He wore a toupe that looked like a woman’s unkept wig and a cowboy hat. Honestly, the man appeared to be senile.
There will always be "flesh peddlers" trying to make a buck off the dead. Publishing fabrications about persons who can no longer defend themselves.
Marilyn Monroe was one of my favorite actresses. She could have been a phenomenal actress if Hollywood had allowed her to play more than sex symbols. Persons who knew Marilyn Monroe said she was very well read, articulate and shy in her personal life. She only turned on the sex siren for the public. It’s what they expected. It’s said, you could walk down the street and walk pass her when she wasn’t in makeup.
I couldn’t agree more with almost all the comments posted re: Marilyn. Tony Curtis was merely an adequate actor. In some films better, in most, adequate. ’Poor Janet Leigh’ indeed. He became irrelevant years ago. Not only does he now look like a woman, but actually like Divine, prior to makeup and wig. BTW I still have my Playbill for "Marilyn" the musical. Ali always was and still is a classy lady, and "Just Tell Me" was terrific. Loved the comment about Mickey Rooney. His ego knows no bounds for sure. He is more of a legend in his own mind than in reality.
Hey C Toe: That’s exactly what I was thinking when I read that. Don’t these people even consider std’s when they sleep around. Its not like they’re teenagers losing control in the back seat of a car. geeeezzz, is right.
I’m so tired of these CAPTCHAS.
BS:
I made NO assumption about you, I quoted you correctly.
OMG, Turn the page.
For those of you bashing Tony Curtis … while I agreee he has crossed the line, could it be caused by the aging process? He’s more than old enough for dementia to be a possibility. Being around numerous people with various stages of dementia, it certainly sounds like it to me. I’m not making excuses for him, just a suggestion as to a possible underlying cause.
As for "Baby Snooks" … you made a comment, other readers disagreed, you countered with a personal affront stating the others had read your statement wrong, and then when you were shown your own statement in quotes you came back with how much you have done for others. If you would have just said something like "Oops, didn’t mean for it to sound like that" - or "I must have left out a part of what I wanted to write," instead of being so defensive, maybe someone would take you seriously. There are many many people (including me) who have volunteered their time to help other people - but we don’t use it as an excuse to explain ourselves. We don’t have to.
Hey Cyndy:
EXACTLY! How ridiculous to argue a point and accuse others of making assumptions, without verifying what you wrote. Appreciate your intelligent reply to BS.
Re: Curtis, it is so sad really. I wish some of these older actors would at least try for a little dignity. He would have looked like a real star had he been a gentleman, not that anyone believes him. He’s made too many statements in the past indicating his dislike of MM for anyone to take these latest allegations seriously.
I read Curtis’ book and have heard his recent interviews. He is the very epitome of what is called "The unreliable narrator."
His famously unkind remark that kissing Marilyn "was like kissing Hitler" came at a screening of "dailies." Marilyn’s acting coach Paula Strasberg began to cry and Curtis snapped, "Well, you try acting with her, Paula and see how you feel."
He also claims to have had an affair with Marilyn when both were unknowns, which is not in ANY of the hundreds of Monroe books, including the two definitive ones by Fred Lawrence Guiles.
And he is downright mean about first wife Janet Leigh, whom he left for a teenaged German starlet.,
Not a nice man. His book is the account of a life-long love affair betwen a man and his mirror.
His book is the account of a life-long love affair betwen a man and his mirror. ___________________________________________
A mirror that he obviously has never looked in. A mirror cracked if ever there was one.