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The Liz Smith Column | 10/06/2009 6:00 am

Liz Smith: Who's Sorry Now? – Everybody!!

Also from Our Gossip Girl, ‘Superior Donuts’ delicious on Broadway.
Letterman © Rubenstein/Flickr

"Je suis desole … Lo siento … Ik ben droving … Sono spiacente … Perdoname … Gomensai."

Above are a few of the foreign translations for "I’m sorry."

There was an Elton John song back in the ’70s titled "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word." Well, not these days! Bad behavior, followed by apologies of varying sincerity are rife.

Maybe it started with Hugh Grant, back when he had to go on Jay Leno’s show and apologize for straying with a hooker. At the time he was cohabiting with one of the most gorgeous actresses in the world – Elizabeth Hurley. Hugh squirmed and so did his audience. (The person he needed to apologize to was Miss Hurley. Personally, I couldn’t have cared less.)

***

Ever since, there’s been an avalanche of public regret. Remember the excellent writer James Frey groveling in front of Oprah? (His book, highly promoted by Oprah, wasn’t entirely true-to-life.) I want to emphasize here that "A Million Little Pieces" is a fabulous memoir that stretches things a bit. I said at the time that Oprah should have simply handed Frey a gun so he could kill himself on air!

Then there was the head of Hermes in Paris apologizing to Oprah; the talk-show queen and her friend Tina Turner had been turned away from his glamorous shop. (Hermes said the store was closed, Oprah thought it was something else.) And we can’t forget Mel Gibson’s apology for spouting drunken anti-Semitic remarks.

More recently we had a politician, Joe Wilson, of "You lie!" fame, apologizing, but not very sincerely, to the president. (This bad behavior made Wilson a somebody; nobody had much heard of him before that.) There was our heroine and champ Serena Williams apologizing for unsportsmanlike profanity on the tennis court. The adulterous governor of South Carolina apologizing endlessly, in tears, but refusing to step down from his job after admitting to adultery with his Argentine passion. We could go on and on, but let’s end with Kanye West. He apologized three times for ruining Taylor Swift’s win at the Video Music Awards. (She’s doing just fine anyway; it’s Kanye’s tour that’s been canceled.)

***

Now comes someone who revealed his bad behavior and has to admit it on air because he is being victimized by a blackmailer. He expresses concern for his family, the other women involved and for his own possibly precarious employment. But he never uttered the words "I’m sorry!" He merely said on air that he probably wouldn’t address the matter again.

I do mean, of course, David Letterman.

I’m not a big fan. I think Letterman’s general behavior toward women is either to slavishly fawn over big sexy stars while being snarky and somewhat disagreeable to those he doesn’t want to flirt with. It’s his privilege and probably he’s right not to say "I’m sorry" to anyone but his wife and employer.

I’m sure he isn’t sorry for past affairs with staffers, even if they are squeamish-making, ethically challenged and, in Letterman’s own words, "creepy."

His audiences and fans will doubtless totally forgive him and his employers definitely want to, as there is so much money at stake, and in a day or two all will be forgiven even if he didn’t say he was "sorry."

***

For heaven’s sake, I feel like the immortal Gilda Radner, and her dizzy "Nevermind!" I spoke too soon. David Letterman did say he was sorry to his wife and colleagues on the air last night. Sigh! I was hoping to avoid adding his apology to the long, long, long list of misbehaving celebs. He needed to apologize to his wife, but did I need to hear it?

***

Just in case you think this column’s opening indicates that I’m fluid in languages; I’m not. Those "I’m sorrys" come from a past Madonna song. Of course, it wasn’t about the star saying she was sorry. She never seems to say that, not even musically. She might say, "I don’t know what I was thinking when I did that!" Or, "It’s supposed to be ironic!" But she keeps apologies private. If she started saying "Mujhe maaf" – the Hindu words of regret – we’d know the Apocalypse had arrived.

67 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Lin Cercone

Hi Liz:

I don’t see what the big deal is with David Letterman having  affairs.  Its not as if he’s some "family values" touting politician, straying with hookers or in mens rooms, or using tax dollars to support his sporting life.  Attempting to blackmail him seems rather stupid and pointless if, (as it appears) the women were consenting adults. The only surprizing thing to me is, why does he always pick such dowdy, plain women when there are so many beauties in NY city.

By Lin Cercone on 10/06/2009 5:53 am
Andy C
I’ve been saying the same thing….who cares?  This is certainly nowhere in the league of those that you mentioned above. 
By Andy C on 10/06/2009 7:56 am
Frank Somsel

Lin: Of course its not a big deal to you, when Letterman cheats on his wife and uses his power at work to make women have sex with him. Why would you care, he is for Obama. Let him ruin the lives of the women that work for him, who cares about them. They’re just consenting adults, right?

Letterman always spoke about Sarah Palins and her daughter, didn’t he. Bada boom bad bing Letterman. I’m sure some on here have complained that Sarah Palins daughter became pregnant because her mother didn’t teach her responsibility. What about Letterman cheating on his wife?

Its great to to see Letterman squirm. There is more to this story than we know.

By Frank Somsel on 10/06/2009 12:29 pm
Lin Cercone

OH MY GOD:  The Pod People are back.  This is not a polictical issue.  It has nothing to do with President Obama, Nancy Pelosi or even all those cheating republicans.

HE WAS NOT MARRIED at the time, HE DIDN’T CHEAT ON HIS WIFE.  Is that SO hard to understand?

By Lin Cercone on 10/06/2009 1:27 pm
Community Manager
The above parties - this isn’t a political discussion so let’s stay on-topic.  Thanks!
By Community Manager on 10/06/2009 1:35 pm
Frank Somsel

Lin: He was living with a woman, had a committed relationship with her, they had had a child together. He cheated on her. Is that so hard to understand? Just by you saying "cheating republicans" makes this an Obama issue with you.

I’d bet my bank account he’s been dabbling down at the taco stand well after he was married.

By Frank Somsel on 10/07/2009 4:16 pm
Jane Rogers

Who says he "made" women at work have sex with him?  Also he had no wife at the time.  As for the more to the story, it’s there the woman that is the center of it all has commented that she is embarrassed that her boyfriend has done what he has done without her consent after reading her diary. 

As for speaking about Palin and her daughters, well he is a comedian and if it’s funny..so be it.

By Jane Rogers on 10/07/2009 5:12 pm
Glenda Glynn
Lin — He picks such dowdy, plain women because he is a dowdy, old dweeb with no sex appeal - only money honey!
By Glenda Glynn on 10/06/2009 7:15 pm
Lin Cercone

HEY GG:  Is it just possible GG, you’re using your own value system to judge others. 

Many women find DL attractive because he’s smart, witty, successful and has that kinda shy, I am not a ‘skirt chasing wolf’ or ‘unattainable’ quality that many women find irresistable?

I think it’s true that most people judge others by their own value system, not because of any evidence to the contrary.  So maybe MONEY is your motive for relationships, its certainly NOT mine. 

By Lin Cercone on 10/06/2009 10:30 pm
Glenda Glynn

Lin OMG — Is it just possible that you have set yourself up as the "Countess of Criticism"?  How in the h—- do you know about my "Value System"? 

And, if you don’t think there are some women, whether it’s their boss or any other man, that don’t go after money you are seriously not of this world!  Some people make judgements about other people which are seriously flawed.  And you have just made one.  So perhaps your opinion is rather like an hourglass — the words come tumbling out as the brain empties!

By Glenda Glynn on 10/07/2009 7:03 pm
Community Manager
To the above parties - agree to disagree in a civil manner, that is free from personal attacks.
By Community Manager on 10/07/2009 7:10 pm
Frances England
OMG!  You really have to be kidding me!  This is what is wrong with some Americans today and why our children and grandchildren are growing up in a culture that "anything goes and that is okay"!  It isn’t okay.  I would just like for people to think if it was their daughter that was working for a hollywood type like DL and she was 20 or 21 and an intern and he had sex with her!  How would you feel, I would have a fit that an old powerful man like this would take advantage of one so young and also powerless!  He was in a relationship also, although to me that isn’t even relevant, it is what celebrities get away with and it is so acceptable by so many.  It is wrong, immoral, and just Bad behavior all the way around.  How can anyone in their right mind think this behavior is acctptable?  He is Shy, I don’t think so, not to mention the way he treats most women is just downright sickening!  DL does Not Have A Value System of any kind, that is obvious and yet people are cheering him on.  What is wrong with this picture, it is a really sad time in our country when bad behavior is applauded.
By Frances England on 10/08/2009 7:01 pm
Lin Cercone

FE:  "This is what is wrong with some Americans today…"

Americans as I know them, believe in a justice system where a person is innocent until proven guilty.  The true Americans that I know, don’t change the facts to support their personal point of view.

EX:  1.  DL is a New York talk show host, not a Hollywood type.

       2.  The age of the consenting adult has not been determined to be 20/21, although that would be a legal age. 

       3.  A bachelor of 50 + yrs, usually has many relationships prior to marriage, this is not a crime or immoral.

       4.  Generally speaking, DL has an excellent record regarding hiring and promoting women in his company.

       5.  Not one woman has come forward to complain, legally or otherwise that she was used or mistreated by DL.

So OMG! "Judge not lest yee be judged".

 

By Lin Cercone on 10/08/2009 8:03 pm
Jane Rogers
beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I for one find it refreshing that there is a rather "dowdy" man with money and fame not chasing beautiful women.
By Jane Rogers on 10/07/2009 5:14 pm
Pdr de

I’m most definitely NOT a David Letterman fan - even before his vulgar remark about Sara Palin’s daughter (no matter which of the two he was referring to - it was gross and uncalled for).  By the way, I’m not a Sara Palin fan either but any mother would have erupted at his crudity directed toward her child.  

Letterman literally makes my skin crawl and has an ego so huge it’s hard for him to see over it.  His attempts at humor are feeble and I wish they would replace him with someone else.  He so obviously has no respect for women in general - they are playthings put here on earth for his gratification and/or amusement.  Enough already!  Let the man go!  


By Pdr de on 10/06/2009 6:58 am